2006-07-20 06:18:47 · 25 answers · asked by classyjazzcreations 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is counseling in order for you and your child. You don't mention your living conditions, relationship with your Ex or your ch id.This can be a very serious question that should be addressed first.
1. Is your son old enough to be making these requests and able to deal with the consequences. Most aren't till teen-age hood.
Young children can be very emotionally scared for life trying to please their parents car ring too large a load of emotional parental baggage.
2. Are you able to take him back into your home if things don't work out. Meaning: Dad has promised trips, clothes, stuff, circus and fun fun fun. Be careful of the yo-yo child who is looking for a greener pasture and a Dad who is on an ego trip.
3. Which adult is more able to take care of the son better who is loving, patient, encouraging, somewhat physically fit, and basically financially stable along with morally sound, all of the time. Only then do you have your answer. Parenthood is nothing to be taken lightly.
2006-07-20 06:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by DJay 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It just so happens I am a mom with a son. I have no other children but my son. I have thought about this a lot, and by a lot I mean since the day he was born. I've decided that if it comes to the point where my son wants to live with his dad I would have to allow it. It would break my heart, however I know he will be back. There is a point in a childs life when they need one parent more than the other. It would be no different if a little girl who has lived with their dad all this time decided they wanted to live with their mom. It is the whole Grass is Greener on the other side thing. They like everyone else finds out it isn't.
2006-07-20 06:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by alwyzn2somthn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the age of the child. It is possible they feel that they will otherwise loose Dad and trust you to stay in touch. It could be cuz Dad doesnt have rules and chores, etc. Alot of kids do not see that once you LIVE in a house, the rules, chores, school work, etc comes anywhere they go. If it doesn't, then they shouldn't be there.
Best bet is put your own emotions aside and ask your son why he feels that way. And ask appropriate questions,
DONT ask "whats so bad about being here?" ask more like "What do you feel would be different between the 2 homes?" It makes a difference on how open they are with you.
Good luck.
2006-07-20 06:28:51 · answer #3 · answered by lorihurley03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the hardest decision a mother has to make. To put her child's happiness ahead of her own. I know from first hand experience. My daughter has been living with her father since we divorced. It was what she wanted...there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish she was with me more! If the father is a good parent and the child is certain that's what he wants, I would let him. He might figure out that the grass isn't always greener on the other side!
2006-07-20 06:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by sweetestthing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was 13 when he said he wanted to live with his dad who lived 1000 miles away. It was hard but I let him go because I knew he needed to have a chance to have a relationship with his dad, especially in his teen years. If I said no it would have been for purely selfish reasons. If he is a stable father, it would be the best thing for your son. By the way, my son is now 16 and is doing great and our relationship is just as good as it always was.
2006-07-20 06:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case is better to let your son go where he is more happy. Sometimes they think it will be better and end up coming back home cuz it wasn't. They need to live and learn. If you keep him against his will he will hate you for it. Let him experience it so that he can make his decision on his own. If he doesn't come back then let it be, it doesn't change the fact that you gave him life. Best of luck.
2006-07-20 06:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by dodgergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends how old your son is. If he is young, keep him. If he is older let him go because it will just cause more damage if he stays and resents you for having to stay. If you choose to let him go make sure he still visits you. If you don't think the father is a good one than he should stay with you then too. Make sure the father is not badmouthing you behind your back.
2006-07-20 06:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by VOLLEYBALLY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son is 10 and if he ever asked me to live with his dad i would say yes. as long as your child will be well taken care of and loved then you should let him try ... i know it might hurt but you have to think about what's best for your child and i'm sure your son loves you just as much as he loves his dad the only thing i would not agree with is back and forth so you need to sit down with him and talk to him and make sure he really wants to do this because if you do let him go back and forth then everytime he doesn't like a rule at your house he will want dad and vice versa.
2006-07-20 06:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by Muy Buena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his father is good to him and he will be safe, healthy and happy, then you should let him live where he wants to unless he is too young and doesn't really know what he wants and thinks he only has fun at his Dad's place, but if he truly wants and will be happy then you should let him. Also, put your angry feelings toward his Dad aside when making the decision (if there are any of those feelings).
2006-07-20 06:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by NJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this problem with my son. He wants to stay with me, and I am about to set up a room for him where he gets to choose most of the details for himself. But he does not want to hurt his mother. We have dual custody so legalities is not the issue. What is, is that the boy does not want to hurt anyone and he is placed in the terrible position of having to choose between us. I know in my heart he will be happier with me, my new wife and her daughter. One big happy family and even happier for all the others from her family here. But it is on the other coast from her. She lives with her mother and makes life hard for him. I know that is by far not intentional, I know we both love him. But at the same time I think it is best for him to stay here. I will respect his wishes even if he goes back on the idea of staying. But I want him happy. And I would think, like all of you above, he would be happier here. If he was not, with great sadness he should go back to her. I would hate that because I miss him so, but I still must respect his decision, especially as he is 15 and knows his mind by now
2006-07-20 06:50:26 · answer #10 · answered by admiralgill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋