you know those shirts.???

Question

those funny t-shirts with the funny sayings like
"i put the stud in study"
whats some of the funniest ones you've seen?

Answer 1

Here are some great ones from: tshirthell.com


I DON'T NEED CONDOMS
THE AIDS WILL KILL THE BABY
We’ve got to do something about AIDS.
If this goes on any longer I’m going to have to stop throwing my South African singles mixers.

MARY WAS ONLY A VIRGIN
IF YOU DON'T COUNT ANAL
It must be true it's in the Bible. Admittedly, it's in crayon, and my handwriting, but it's still technically in the Bible.

JESUS DID IT FOR THE CHICKS!
Jesus was a ladies man and he knew the 2 best ways to pull all the honeys. 1. Self Sacrifice and 2. Roofies, of course.

I BEAT CANCER!
(BY CANCER I MEAN CHILDREN)
It's hard to beat a person who never gives up. Unless you have a stick. Then you can go to town.

I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE (ground up and in the freezer)
T-Shirt Hell: The best part of waking up is seeing who's in your cup.

MY MEXICAN WORKS FOR LESS
THAN YOUR MEXICAN
Although Mexico is not known for it’s dishes featuring what we consider the winter vegetables, there are none the less quite a few and they are delectable.

THE KORAN... NOW IN TWO PLY!
Coming soon... Ultra Koran, quilted with aloe and vitamin E!

RAPE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER
(unless you're raping a clown)
This is for everyone who hates clowns. So, it's for everyone.

I'M NOT GETTING JIGGY
I HAVE PARKINSON'S
Grab yer Hardshoes, lace your ghillies, fasten your brooches and away we go!

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GOOD THINGS
HITLER DID?
Dedicated to the misunderstood man who invented s'mores and Jenga.



WWJD - WHERE WOULD JESUS DOODIE?
It’s not pleasant to think about, since he was our savior and all, but he did ****. And I’m betting it was all over Mary Magdalene’s chest.


IF I WASN'T ME - I'D **** ME
(UNLESS I WAS FAT)
If I were you and you were me, I'd take my...I mean your...wait...whatever. I just know we'd both be dead and covered in yogurt.



P
ME
Hookers charge $20 extra for that. It’s funny how she told me that like I had planned on paying in the first place.


... 'TIL SUNRISE DO US PART
"First you want me to bring you back to my place, then you want a ride to the parking garage to get your car. Stop smothering me!"



NOW ACCEPTING REACH AROUNDS
I’d still prefer it was a woman. I’m not homophobic, but if I wanted a big, hairy hand handling my junk, I’d put mine on over my hook.


DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS
IT'S NOT NICE TO PICK ON RETARDS
Can you blame Mexicans for border jumping? If you peeked over a fence and noticed that even retards can get rich you'd do the same.



I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS
It's time to sit down and declare your support for single moms. Won't you lend a lap?


******* CLASSY
They say money doesn’t buy class, but they’re dead wrong. One look at my Dale Earnhardt shower curtain and Victorian style meth tub proves it.



IF A FAT GIRL FALLS IN THE WOODS
DO THE TREES LAUGH?
Life is filled with existential quandaries. Like "Who let the dogs out?" and "Where’s the beef?" And "Why does my wife stay in an abusive relationship?"


I'M THE ONE YOU GOTTA BLOW
TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE
You know what? I'm a pretty generous person. I'll go ahead and get you two drinks. Three if you promise not to call.



WHITE FLOUR!
"Nuthin' says lovin' like being shoved in an oven!" He got poked in the stomach one too many times, which is exactly how Hitler got started.


I KNOW VIOLENCE ISN'T THE ANSWER
I GOT IT WRONG ON PURPOSE
"Cut off your head and **** down your throat. I'm sorry, Alex. WHAT IS cut off your head and **** down your throat?"



WHO NEEDS BIG ****?
WHEN YOU HAVE AN *** LIKE THIS
I couldn't poop for two days because my *** was swollen shut. I never saw you, but you violated me, you bastard jellyfish.


HOPELESS ROMANTIC
SEEKS FILTHY WHORE
And if the hopeless romantic's search is successful, he will soon after begin his search for ointments, antibiotics and a rare shampoo that comes with a very little comb.



REMINDER: BUY MORE BEER
(MIRROR WRITING)
This is not just a shirt: it's also a handy reminder, every time you look in the mirror, of your number 1 priority for the day.


I BET YOU'LL VOTE NEXT TIME HIPPIE
Did you vote with the majority...and stay home? Nice going.



ALSO AVAILABLE IN SOBER!!
My 12 step program has an escalator, and a wet bar.

THIS SHIRT IS ONLY BLUE WHEN
I'M THINKING ABOUT DWARVES
If a dwarf buys this shirt, I’m sorry to say that this shirt will simply burst into flame immediately after you put it on. I’m kidding. We don’t sell to dwarves.



THOUSANDS OF MY POTENTIAL CHILDREN DIED ON YOUR
DAUGHTER'S FACE LAST NIGHT
It’s good to let your kids experience new things. I usually just let them play in my socks or swim in my toilet.


BARRY TAKES IT IN THE ***
"Oh, so it’s not a big deal when Mark McGwire does it, but now that it’s a black player it’s a problem?" Exactly. It’s just like rape.



WE MIGHT SUCK AT SOCCER
BUT AT LEAST OUR BABIES
AREN'T STARVING
You beat us at soccer? Well guess what you dirty foreigner. I didn’t even know it was happening.


πMP
"***** betta’ have my money! And she betta’ remember to factor in the costs of condoms and multiply by .2 to figure out her cut."



STOP CLUBBING BABY SEALS
They never buy a round, they dance too close, and their breath smells of herring.


IF YOU'RE ALREADY THIS CLOSE
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SUCK MY DICK?
A great gag shirt. Because they can gag after they read it.


CANADIANS ARE EH'HOLES
Let’s see... A joke about Canadians... geez, I’ve got nothing. This is like trying to make fun of a tree or a river. Call me when we add a retard shirt.


HOLY ******* ****
I used these exact words when I saw my priest ******* a pile of ****. And then I said "That’ll be 20 bucks."



BAAAAAA MEANS NOOOOO!
You always hurt the one ewe that you love, unless you use ewes that use lube.


I'M HUGE IN JAPAN
And China...and Korea..and Thailand and...
You'll have to ask Bill Murray what the Japanese letters mean (hint hint: big dick).



IF I HAD BALLS THEY WOULD BE BIGGER THAN YOURS
At first glance this appears to be a "girls only" shirt, but don’t forget about the Eunuchs (like God did).


IF THIS IS ON YOUR FLOOR TOMORROW... WE TOTALLY ******
(now go make me some breakfast, *****)
Make ******* an important part of your balanced breakfast. Stick milk, juice, toast, cereal, and a grapefruit up your ***.



SAVE GAS - RIDE THE HANDICAPPED
Solar energy and ethanol have been harder to come by than we expected. It’s time we tap in to the power of the gimp.


1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly
n33d t0 g37 l41d
And cybering doesn't count. And you can stop saving yourself for Lara Croft.



ABRACADABRA!...
****, YOU'RE STILL UGLY
Well, that didn’t work. I guess I’ll have to saw you in half. Who said anything about
a trick?


SORRY FOR BEING SO ******* SEXY
There's no need to apologize; just don't let it happen again. This is the last warning you'll get.



999 - EVIL WHEN I DO HANDSTANDS
That’s why I do handstands at funerals. Otherwise my erection just doesn’t seem justified.


**** THE COLORBLIND
Roses are red, violets are blue: that's true for me, but not for you! Just one more way to taunt the visually challenged.



I TAUGHT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
THAT THING YOU LIKE
In return, she taught me the Lambada; even though it is... forbidden.


I TAUGHT YOUR BOYFRIEND
THAT THING YOU LIKE
In return, he taught me long division.



YOU CAN'T HAVE MANSLAUGHTER WITHOUT LAUGHTER
Laughter is the best medicine. That is, next to any sort of actual medicine.


I'M NOT A FULL-BLOODED JEW
I'M JEWish
I got sent to a concentration camp, but it was minimum security.














MALCOLM X-TREME
I will do a 720 and follow it up with a front-side grind... BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!


NY DOESN'T LOVE YOU
It's true, New York City is the greatest city in the world. Do you know why? It's because you're not in it.



BORN AGAINST CHRISTIAN
For a group that takes the Bible so literally, they don't go far enough to be born again. I say it doesn't count until you slide back out the same pussy.


YOU DISCUSSED ME
This is how misunderstandings occur. I say one thing, she hears another. For the last time Sheila, I said 'ranch dressing,' not 'filthy ****.'



THIS SHIRT INTENTIONALLY
LEFT BLANK
Description of this shirt intentionally left blank. Hey, that's virtually the same joke as the shirt. Good thing I don't care.


SAUSAGE FEST
People think Jesus was gay because he hung out with 12 guys, but if the man can turn water into wine I’m sure he can turn cock into pussy.



FOLLOWER / LEADER
I’m not going to commit to one label. If I want to lead, I’ll lead. If I want to follow, I’ll follow. But it’s more likely that I’ll just watch porn and eat nachos.


I'M WHAT WILLIS WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT
The shirt NBC's Scrubs featured on their 3/30/04 episode and the one we've been selling since 2002.



THE LATEST PRESIDENTIAL APPROVAL RATING POLL SHOWS THAT NEARLY 1/3 OF AMERICANS ARE ******* IDIOTS
Which is why I smack 1 out of every 3 people I see with a sack of batteries.


I LOOK LIKE THAT ONE GUY
IN THAT MOVIE
I get that a lot, but I can assure you that I'm not him. If I was, I would never be this close to a worthless piece of **** like you.



WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU
MAKE IT STRONGER
Or just do more of it. It’s like getting stabbed with a butter-knife by a midget.
It may take a while, but eventually
it’ll get the job done.


I'LL **** THE FAT FRIEND
I was born to be a wing-man. I get to **** fat, ugly chicks and my friend buys my drinks because he thinks I hate it.



MY LIFE SUCKS, BUT THE
SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE AWESOME
And the best part is that there is absolutely no way there’s going to be a sequel.


SUPPORT THE FINE ARTS
SHOOT A RAPPER
I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang bang! bang...



I SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN
Stirring up an instant cake mix? It's the perfect time to practice fractions. You can also count the pieces of chopped glass you put into the beef stew.


TALK NERDY TO ME
How should I manage my hacker? The same way you herd cats. It can be a bit confusing; they're not like most other workers.


TOOL - NOT THE BAND
I'M JUST A TOOL
I’m glad you can finally admit it. Now you can finally start your side-project, A Perfect Circle Jerk.


THERE ARE 2 PEOPLE *******
ON THE BACK OF THIS SHIRT...
JUST KIDDING, BELIEVE IN JESUS!
So why do I believe in Jesus? Because he's real. That night in the library, when I hit the bottom, Buddha wasn't there for me.


2 DRINKS AWAY FROM
GIRL ON GIRL ACTION
2 drinks or, if you don’t want to wait for those to kick in, just flash a c-note. Just as good.


SUPPORT MY TROOPS
And I'm not talking about some empty gesture like buying a ribbon. I'm saying you better let them set up camp in one of three locations.



LADIES DON'T SPIT
The rules of etiquette clearly state that a lady keeps her elbows off the table. Oh, and she has to pay for half of the abortion.


XENU IS MY HOMEBOY
Once a ***** scrapes off your body thetans, that *****’s down fo’ life.



IN CASE OF FIRE LOOK ON BACK-
I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE DUMBASS
The shirt, the shirt, the shirt is on fire! I don't need no water let the mother ****** burn. OK, a little water would be nice.


TOM IS MY ONLY FRIEND
The rest of my top 8 is a mixture of alcohol, anti-depressants and internet porn.



CHILD PREDATOR
Everyone hates child predators, but have you ever considered the fact that they wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for all these ******* kids running around?


**** RED BULL
RIDE THE WHITE PONY
Side-effects of cocaine use include: increased blood pressure, decreased appetite and parents that won’t get off
my ******* back.



COULD YOU COME BACK
IN A FEW BEERS?
What you might call skunked beer due to lack of knowledge could be a tasty German-style Pilsner to another. Or it could be piss.


GO LOCAL SPORTS TEAM
AND/OR COLLEGE!
Show your support for your favorite overpaid athlete and/or subpar student!



YOUR SISTER IS HOT BUT YOUR MOM DOES THAT THING WITH HER TONGUE
Cooked tongue is lean, meaty, and quite versatile; it works well in sandwiches, tacos, assholes, and casseroles.


STOP MIDGET ON MIDGET CRIME
There are no small crimes, only small criminals.













MEDIUM PIMPIN'
Fo' real it don't get no mo' medium man.
Don't trip, let's flip, gettin throwed on the flip. Gettin blowed with the motherfuckin Jigga Man, fool.


I WILL NOT REMEMBER ANY OF THIS
Individuals can engage in a wide range of goal-directed, voluntary, often complicated behaviors during blackouts -- from salsa dancing, to having sex with giraffes.



HOW DARE I WEAR THIS
GODDAMN SHIRT IN FRONT OF
YOUR ******* KIDS?!
Most people think children are the future, but I think they're the present. Which is why I'm not allowed within 100 ft. of a school.


EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNING
Are you easy? Easy like Sunday Morning? Or just plain easy? It's ok.


TO: WOMEN - FROM: GOD
You know that you're God's gift to women. Now you have the shirt to prove it.


I'LL BE USING THESE
TO MY ADVANTAGE
The Maidenform company was founded in 1922, starting the convention of naming cup sizes A through D.



SORRY GIRLS, THE DRUMMER IS GAY
They do love to pound that bass. Especially if you remove the b. Get it? Take the b off of bass and it becomes ***. Meaning they love to pound ***.


SORRY GIRLS, THE LEAD SINGER IS GAY
Who the **** wants to wait for groupies when your fellow band members are already backstage? And you already know they suck.



I'M JUST IN IT FOR THE PARKING
But let's be honest, those giant bathroom stalls are pretty sweet, too. I wonder how come they don't have giant urinals?


BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL - "BLACK" IS
THE NAME OF MY HUGE WHITE COCK
And the similarities between my cock and black people don’t end there. My cock also likes fat white women and is a great dancer. Oh, and it’s poor.



I TAKE THE "THE" OUT OF PSYCHOTHERAPIST
A shirt made specifically for all the psycho rapists out there. Which excludes me, because I'm a level-headed, rational rapist.


I PUT THE "SEXY" IN DYSLEXIA
Tihs oen gsoe uot ot lal hte sexy dyslexics.
Fianlyl a sthirt amde ujst orf uyo.



PREGUNTAME LO QUE DICE
ESTA PLAYERA
(Ask me what this shirt says)
A latino submitted this shirt idea and we only had to pay him 25% of what we usually pay the winners.


I (HEART) JESUS AND FRENCH FRIES
I'm caught in a love triangle. They're both special in their own way, but until Jesus comes with a drive-thru window I'm gonna have to go with the fries. Besides, you can't biggie-size Jesus's love.



I STOLE THIS SHIRT FROM A
HOMELESS GUY- WHY HE HAD A SHIRT THAT SAYS THIS, I'LL NEVER KNOW
Some say homeless people are looking for handouts. Some say they want jobs. That's why I say let's just give them all handjobs!


SO, I WALK INTO A BAR...
Joke - a rabbi, a priest and a naked Asian guy. Reality - Middle-aged businessmen and despair.



I JUST KILLED A CLOWN
Remember that a good clown entertains others by making fun of himself, and not at the expense or embarrassment of others. If he doesn't follow this simple rule: kill him.

HE LOVES THE COCK
When your cock knows that you love and respect him, he will want to be with you. He'll sit on the porch in the evening and preen himself, sure signs that he feels at home.



1,000,000 MARCHERS FOR
IMMIGRATION RIGHTS - 1 CAR
Everyone thought seeing 1,000,000 marchers was impressive, but when you think about it, that’s only, like, one family.


YES, I HAVE PLENTY OF CHANGE
YOU HOMELESS PIECE OF ****.
THANKS FOR ASKING.
I would help the homeless if I just knew where they lived.



THIS SHIRT IS WRITTEN IN HOMOSEXUAL, CAN YOU READ IT?
Sorry you had to find out this way. And by the way, the sentence you’re reading right now can only be read by people with cancer.


I (HEART) TRANSITIVE
PICTOGRAPH VERBALIZATIONS
In addition to that, I also (beet) my wife, (bone) my secretary, (club) retards and (whatever represents neglect) my kids.



HUNG HORSE
We used to have a similar shirt that had an Asian guy in place of a horse, but that one didn’t sell for more than one reason.


I ONLY SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE
IF BOTH CHICKS ARE HOT
There's nothing hotter than two chicks making out, unless it's two chicks making out while they're on fire.



I'M JEHOVAH
(YOU DIDN'T WITNESS ****)
I would suggest that you sign up for the witness protection program, but it wouldn’t do any good. That ****** sees everything.


I'D RATHER BE FIGHTING THE MAN
Elvis was a hero to most. But he never meant **** to me, you see.



WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
(for a KLONDIKE bar?)
My 15 year old Christian daughter is very angry with God. She needs prayer for all her anger against God. Please pray for her & send ice cream.


I BRING NOTHING TO THE TABLE
For those of you who think inside the box.


YOU'LL REGRET READING THIS SHIRT WHEN THE SKETCH ARTIST ASKS YOU TO DESCRIBE MY FACE
Being an artist is first and foremost about feeling free to create. Creating something that others have not expressed before or have expressed in a different way.


I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM
When people tell you that you're part of the problem, they're generally being polite. Knowing you, you're the whole problem.














ASTHMA IS SEXY!
Buy this, and breathe a little easier.

IT'S NOT PMS, IT'S YOU
Many women with PMS find it hard to do things that require concentration, such as balancing a checkbook, following recipes, or making business decisions.



I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?
No more owchies from getting a hair stuck to a pantyliner. *blush* No more stray curly hairs peeking out from revealing clothing or bathing suits.


THIS ORGY SURE IS OFF
TO A SLOW START
Proper orgy etiquette is to start with the person on your left, and then continue in a clockwise rotation. And always, ladies first!



SORRY GIRLS..I SUCK DICK
For girls who don't do Bi and guys who don't do straight.

SORRY BOYS..I EAT PUSSY
For girls who don't do straight and guys who don't do gay.


SOLDIERS NEED HUMMERS
PLEASE HELP SUPPORT THE CAUSE!
I know you're willing to lend a hand, but what these boys could really use is a nice warm, wet...protective vehicle.


I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE
I LIKE MY TRACTORS
I CAN'T GET ANY MORE SPECIFIC THAN
THAT - PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN
And exactly how I like my ceiling fans. The fellas know what I’m talking about. They don’t? Well I’m not gonna get into it here.



THE FUNNIEST THING ABOUT THIS SHIRT IS THAT BY THE TIME YOU REALIZE IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU TO STOP READING IT YOU DUMB ****


YOU MUST BE THIS LONG TO RIDE
Obey the posted rules and oral instructions:
Do not interfere with safety devices. .
Do not swing or bounce unless instructed.
(space between fingers is approx 8")



SWALLOWS
Takeru Kobayashi holds the world record for hot dog consumption at 50 and 1/2 dogs in 12 minutes. He also enjoys fisting, and long walks on the beach.


(Front) THERE'S A ******' ASSHOLE
LOOKING AT ME
(Back) ...STILL LOOKING AT ME
**** 'em. Best of all it doesn't matter whether you're coming or going.



DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND...
BUT MY DICK IS A REALLY CLOSE SECOND
Tired of coming in second? Get a Prince Albert that contains a 2 karat diamond.


OB/GYN KENOBI
Use the Force Luke... no wait, I meant the forceps... now the Force... and now back to the forceps. Good. Go wash up.



EAST COAST LAWNMOWERS
Charles Henry Pugh was born in 1840 in Newtown Montgomery. Unfortunately he never lived long enough to see his first lawnmower.


ONCE YOU GO ASIAN...
YOU NEVER GO CAUCASIAN
He is a compelling and exotic little man in his charcoal Mao suit, white socks and enigmatic smile.


INTERNATIONAL AGE OF CONSENT TOUR
This shirt is a handy guide to who's legal and who's not. It's helpful when you're spreading international relations, and VD.


IV:XX
When in Rome, smoke pot when the Romans do.


PLEASE TURN ME OVER SO I DON'T CHOKE ON MY OWN VOMIT / THANK YOU
Perform a tongue-jaw lift and remove foreign body ONLY IF VISUALIZED.


IN THE MOUTH? IN THE ***?
IN THE VAGINA? BETWEEN THE ****?
I SUPPORT A WOMAN'S RIGHT
TO CHOOSE
It's all about freedom.



BAD SAMARITAN
Reach out to fellow human beings and invite them into a friendly and empowering relationship of care - or just poke them.


RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE JUST ANOTHER WAY of saying I love you
Don't wear this within 100 yards of another t-shirt.


I'M CUTE? NO ****.
Tired of hearing the same cliche **** when flaunting your delicious goodies down the street? Don't even talk back, just wear the shirt.

IF I CAN BUILD A COMPUTER
I CAN MAKE YOU ***
If you can screw in a light bulb and turn a screwdriver you can easily build your own pc. Personally, I prefer to screw in hot tubs.



I'M HERE TO KILL YOU - NEXT TIME KEEP THAT CHAIN LETTER GOING
Send 10 of these shirts to 10 people and tell them to do the same. Soon you'll be rich. Ok, I'll be rich.


I MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S
BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE ALZHEIMER'S
This shirt is for everyone who... who are you people? How did you get on this site?



THERE'S A PICTURE OF
THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD
ON THE BACK OF MY SHIRT...
JUST KIDDING, PRAISE ALLAH!
(PLEASE DON'T KILL ME)


TOG DYSLEXIA?
Palindrome - 1. a word or phrase that reads the same backward or forward. 2. a rare instance when a dyslexic is right.



GO **** YOURSELF. I'M AN ASSHOLE AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
Paid for by the commitee to elect fewer cumstains, and more assholes.


SHITTLES (taste the asshole)
I am sad to report that on November 18, 2001, my beloved Shittles died from bloat. She will be dearly missed.

Answer 2

Stop Clubbing Baby Seals Shirt

Answer 3

You're handsome but it's facing the person wearing the shirt.
South Korea's got Seoul.
An orange hippo that says "Honestly I was never that hungry hungry."
A man with the arms of a bear who says "The second amendment."
Pedro lacks political experience.
Save a cow eat a vegan.
Hope I got a few laughs out of you
Thanks for reading!

Answer 4

Thoseshirts

Answer 5

Oh ya once I have seen a shirt
" I put Pet in potty"

Answer 6

1

Answer 7

Front-There is an @sshole reading my shirt
Back- Still Reading...

>:-)

Answer 8

my friend whos a brunette she almost bought one saying I had a nightmare i was blonde

Answer 9

Salmon... The other pink meat!

Answer 10

I'm with stupid

Answer 11

i pee on toilet seats, and boys are stupid throw rocks at them. o and i feel great-feel for your self!