I have been dating this guy for about 2 years now. My mother does not like him and she lets him know that. I really love and want to spend my life with him. Can our relationship work if my family will be against it?
2006-07-20 05:25:57 · 8 answers · asked by honeyluv_2010 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My mother does not like him because I have a better job than he has.
2006-07-20 05:38:12 · update #1
If you are under 25 years old and not extremely mature for your age, I would say that you should strongly consider your Mother's opinion. Parents can see things that a child "in love" can't or won't see and, as a rule, they do have your best interests at heart. I'm certain that she is unhappy with him for more reasons than just his lower-paying job. What do your other friends and family think of him?
Yes, there are instances where marriages against family wishes worked out OK. Mine, however, were not the ones that did. Had I listened to my parents regarding my boyfriends and former fiances (now ex-husbands), I would have avoided a lot of heartache and loss. I won't go into details but 3 out of 3 losers convinced me that I should have listened. Fortunately, I have now met my "Mr. Right", and will live happily ever after, for as long as God allows. I feel blessed for this, even if it took me 40 years to find him.
Please consider these things, and be brutally honest:
Are you proud of him, or do you find yourself making excuses for things he says and does, his status or appearance, the way he treats you, your friends, or your family?
Do you think he will change...if you marry, if you have kids, if people just "lighten up" on him? It won't happen or will be painful while you wait.
Do you feel secure with him? Do you trust him or do you have questions about his fidelity? Is he loving towards you, both verbally and physically, all the time, not just when he's in a good mood? Does he have a problem with drinking, drugs, or some other addiction? Life is tough enough without fighting this. Liken an addiction to another woman in his life, because it will end up feeling the same. The addiction will come before anything or anyone else. DON'T go there!
If you don't have a man that you can honestly feel good about when considering all these things, then you need to rethink a long term relationship with him. You deserve an equal partner that respects you and that you can respect. If you don't insist on these things in a partner then you are asking for trouble. Your mother probably has a more objective point of view as she is not in love or lust, which has proved many times to blind a person to reality.
Please take another honest look at the situation and be smart. It's your life and you don't want to look back and wish you'd done things differently. It hurts in ways that I can't even begin to describe.
Sorry that this is so long. I wish you the best of luck, what ever you choose to do.
2006-07-21 05:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by nighthawk 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I dont like my childs boyfriend either because I know he is up to no good. But yet she loves him. She has lied and cheated and allowed her grades to drop because of this boy and that is the main reason I dont like him. Before my child met him, she was an honor roll student. She was polite, she did her chores and went to church. She totally stopped doing certain things. She talked about us behind our backs, she disrespects us by lying alot, so much that its comfortable for her. She skips classes, she is no longer anxious about going to college,e tc, etc...its alot of stuff. But I am coming to a point where I am going to allow her to fall and fail. I as a mother am tired...very very tired. If your mom doesn't like him ask her specifically why. What has she sensed in him. What does she foresee? Other than that I pray that you will always love and respect your mother. God Bless.
2015-05-20 04:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by malcolmx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship can work but you might want to find out why your mother dislikes him so much. sometimes our parents see things that we don't necessarily see. especially when you are in love. I would have a serious conversation with my mother to find out what is the root of the problem and what is it that she dose not like about him. Maybe it's nothing. maybe she's jealous that she's losing her baby to him, maybe it's more. I would seek to find the answers before I jump head first into a relationship for the long haul especially if this behavior is not typical for my mother.
2006-07-20 05:31:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babygirl let me tell u from experiance, if your momma doesnt like him its for a good reason. I have spent many a nights regretting ever have ignored my mom when she told me not to get involved with my daughters father. Moms have that instinct and soon you will get it too. I know it hurts, believe me it hurt me when my mom was against my kids daddy, but i learned the hard way why she didnt like him. He cheated on me every chance he could, lied about where he was getting his money and is now serving time in prison cus he was carrying a gun and thats a mandatory 2 year sentence. Heed my words baby, if your mom doesnt like him its for a good reason. I'm so sorry to put it like that, please dont think i'm a b*tch, i just wish everyday that i had listened to my mom.
2006-07-20 05:33:25 · answer #4 · answered by BlkBeauty24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respect your mom than ask her woman to woman what the problem is? And if she cant be honest or wants to talk, move on your a big Girl now. Maybe your mom is lonely, and is scared your going to leave her. Try hanging out with her more and sometimes invite your man.
2006-07-20 05:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by L4L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe it can. Your mother isn't the one dating him - so only you can make this decision. If you love him, then don't let her step in the way! :)
2006-07-20 05:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes,, why not.. it can work..see there r two things..one is that wats the nature of ur boyfren...ask ur mother to giv u s reasons about why she doesnot like ur boyfren......compare the reasons with ur boyfren.. if u think ur mother is right then see that , that things which prevails in ur oyfren can affect u or not.....
2006-07-20 05:34:30 · answer #7 · answered by RAHUL MEHTA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you're married and have kids they will have to get past it. time changes everyone. just hope it doesnt change your hunny too much.
2006-07-20 05:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by lowIQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋