A friend has been seeing her fella for 11 months.They get on really well. He is divorced with 2 kids whom he sees twice a month. He has not mentioned her meeting them yet . Is that normal?
2006-07-20 05:11:08 · 23 answers · asked by WOW 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX no, he's hiding something. I'd check his motives. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-20 05:15:12 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This depends on various factors. It's hard to know from the question what the situation actually entails. There could be issues of the childrens ages and insecurities, could be that the ex wife is against this etc etc etc. Things happen in their own time and if this relationship is meant to stand the test of time then it will. Im sure if so he'll want this to happen. The children may not want this meeting or be ready for it emotionally. There are issues of relinquishing their father to a stranger!! etc loyalty to their mother etc. He has to think of their welfare as well as progress his own relationship, so it could just be too soon, everyone is different and every break up etc has individuals and their emotional baggage to take into consideration.
2006-07-20 12:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....I wouldn't worry too much about it yet....although I would think pretty soon he might start to think about it since they have been going together for nearly a year. Too many people rush into things and get the children involved and then they get close to the person who mom or dad is dating only to have them break up a couple of months later.....I intentionally waited nearly 8 months at one time to let the man I was seeing meet my little boy, why confuse a child and let them start to care about someone if it may not even work out...I guess it just depends on how serious you and the other person are and how old the children are...but even if they are teens, you should be cognizant of how you are portraying yourself to your children...it's very important to bring them up on halfway decent morals...so overall I'm on the side of your friend, he might be more wiser than you think!
2006-07-20 12:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have not talked about marriage or any type of long-term commitment yet, then this is normal. It's healthier for the kids to not meet and get attached to her if she will not be a long -term part of their life. She could ask him about meeting them without coming off as being pushy...she could just make a comment like "I'd love to meet your children some day", and see where the conversation goes from there.
2006-07-20 12:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by ????? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's fairly normal, he may not want to upset the kids and make sure that they're used to the fact their Dad is with another woman. They may still be quite upset about their Mum and Dad breaking up. I say give him a bit more time, he's looking out for his kids which is the right thing to do. I'd also say that your friend should say she wants to meet his children but only when he's ready. That way he'll start planning a time to get them all together.
2006-07-20 12:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by ianmarkwebber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be he wants to wait and see if things are going to work out at first. i mean it would not be a really good idea to introduce a new girl friend (Step mother to be) unless he knows for sure that it is the real thing. Then again ... It could be that he has no intention to go further such as going official because he sees your friend as OK right now but not forever.
It is really hard to tell you for sure because it could be anything! If your friend feels worried about the situation then she could maybe mention it, not ask bluntly but hint! Ask about his children, what are they like, what do they like/dislike, and see how teh conversation goes. If he enjoys telling her about them then she can always say "O i'd love to meet them" and take it from there.
2006-07-20 12:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say YES it is normal....Maybe he's just waiting for the right time, Maybe he could eb waiting to see if she's the one he truly wants his kids to meet. Why would any parent want to introduce their kids to each woman he sees? I think that his intentions on waiting for his kids to meet his GF are good. Has she even as to meet the kids, have they had this conversation?
2006-07-20 12:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by Mary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ONce your friend is ok with it-then leave it alone! If she has a problem with it then let her deal with it. Besides meeting kids, parents, etc. is a big step, maybe she nor her bf is ready to take that plunge as yet.
2006-07-20 12:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by Rogue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting the kids is a big step. I don't think it should be rushed into at all. All things will come in time if they have a strong relationship.
2006-07-20 12:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by Krissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has to say she would like to meet the kids. Maybe he's just not getting that vibe from her. With kids, one has to be extremely careful especially when introducing someone new into their lives.
2006-07-21 05:59:04 · answer #10 · answered by tedious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's normal but there could be lots of reasons that he doesn't want her to see them. Maybe the kids aren't ready for that. I could also be the kids mother. If she doesn't want her around then what can he do?
2006-07-20 12:18:05 · answer #11 · answered by Audrey B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋