What would you do?

Question

Ok I'm 26 and I have a 9 year old son. About 4 years ago a girl who was my best friend since Jr. High and I decided not to be friends anymore, we just grew apart and didn't haven anything in common anymore. Her sister who is now almost 30 has stepchildren who are friends with my son. Just the other day, one of her step children told my son that his step mom said he was a bad kid and that she doesn't like him or me.

Now, my first reaction is to hunt this girl down and beat her a$$. You don't talk sh*t to kids, specially about other kids. My son is a good kid he's active in sport, good in school, plays the piano and always respects adults. This girl hasn't spent more than 30 around my child in over 4 year.

I know if I track this b*tch down and giver a piece of my mind or more, the consiquences could be horrible. With their father and step mother not allowing our kids to play together or start major issues with my friend and her X.



What do I do?

***The real mother of the children is one of my very close friends.

***The boys have been friends for 6 or seven years.

Of course I'm not going to do anything that will put me in jail and I don't want to set a bad example for my son. But it's not ok to do and say what she did. It hurts my feeling and makes angry.

Answer 1

I know when kids repeat things that their parents say
and you hear about it its not them its their parents.
Yes they are teaching their kids bad things I know.
It just burns your *** and you would like nothing more then to cause serious pain and bodily harm.
BUT Knowing if you do it would open a can of worms
you can't.:( Hate that )
Just sit your son down and reassure him that hes not and always remember that you cant make everybody like you.
People like that are best to forget and pay no attention to.

Answer 2

Ok, 1st I understand you were very angry when you wrote your question, so that would explain how it is a little hard to read. But I think I understand what you are saying, & if I got it right you are reacting to what your child said, her stepchild said, that she said. You are trusting what has been reported third hand by children to be accurate. Plus the person you believe has insulted you is someone you didn't seem to care about before today, & now you are ready to go & kick someones a** over it? So you ask "What would I do?" 1st, I would check to see if my child is upset over what he heard, & if he is I would council him to not take everything he hears from people so personally, especially from people who have little or no relevence in his life. As for myself, I would apply the same advice, & not get upset over something that simply amounts to a rumour if I am hearing it 3rd hand. Now if I may offer you some constructive criticism, here it is. If you aren't ready for it you don't have to read the rest of this answer, from this point on. But to put it simply, you need to calm down, get a little self esteem, & above all grow up. Are you really 26? Saying you are ready to go hunt that B**** down & kick her A** makes you sound a lot more like a kid in grade school than a mature woman with a family. Someone said they didn't like you?!?! So you are prepared to go beat them until, what? They print a retraction, saying that they really do like you? Of course not. Your issue isn't with this woman, or anybody else that says they don't like you or your kids, it's with yourself. Try searching for a self-help book, or some professional councilling, or talk to your minister, or priest. I have been on a self-improvement jag for a number of years now, & have come a long way from where I started. We all need some, You can do it too.

Answer 3

What you do is tell you child, calmly, that this woman isn't very nice and the things she said aren't true.

THEN, you limit your children's time with her stepchildren and avoid any contact with her. If your kids ask why, tell them that you don't want them in an environment where adults say rude things.

DO NOT start any fights. What kind of example would you be setting for your children and MY GOD what do you think you would accomplish but making things ten times worse and having assault charges filed against you.

hold your head up and do the mature thing, cut the woman out of your life and MOVE ON

Answer 4

I think you need to confront this woman in a calm manner. Tell her what your son said her son said. Explain to her that your son really likes to hang out with her sons and that you wouldn't want to see the children get hurt by any problems that you as parents might be having with each other. See if there is something that you two can work out. Promise that you won't bad mouth each other or each others children especially in front of the children.

Answer 5

I would suggest you write down everything you think and feel about the situation. Just get it all out of your head and onto paper. Then you should take the least offensive but still honest parts of it and write it in a letter, then send her the letter. It allows you to confront her without interuption and prevents you from acting on the temptation to smash her face in. Also explain to your son that just because other people think and say stupid things about him it doesn't make it so. You know the expression about opinions and everyone's got one. I wonder if the sister saying this because she is taking your former friend's side?

Answer 6

How about just let it go???? Tell you son that he is a good kid and that the other people have no idea what they are talking about.

What kind of example of a parent are you to "beat the crap ouf of her"? I understand you would want your child to stand up for himself, but the best way he can show someone up is to live a good life, get a good job and be a good person.

You can send the other parents "sympathy cards" when their kids go to jail.

Answer 7

Teach your son to ignore nasty comments. It is not a good example for your son to see you retaliate. Just let him know that there are all kinds of people in the world including nasty troublemakers. Let it go. This child may just have been angry with your son that day. You don't know the whole story. Kids have learn to fight their own battles and when to just walk away.

Answer 8

You set up a time to see her and talk to her, as adults. Tell her what her kid said, and that it got back to your kid. Tell her how damaging this is to children. Tell her to please not say bad things about your kid (or any other) to her child, or to anyone who may leak what she said. Say if she has a problem with your child's behaviour she can tell you what she thinks is wrong, that way if there is something you need to address, you can. (not that there is, but it is better if she tells you if she thinks there is a problem...at least there is the possibility of something constructive coming out of it).

(after that you can call a hit man or something) :P

Answer 9

XXXXXXXXXXX I truly think her remarks were more geared toward the anger at you than your kid. She only used him as a stepping stone to get to you. Confronting her in anger only puts you down to her level and going over to her is really a no no because if she is the kind who talks **** and calls the police you will be in trouble for entering her territory. Premeditated fight. The only thing you can do is for you and your son to say away from this family. They aren't the best influences anyhow. Good luck hun XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 10

First, I totally understand your anger but you need to remember, she is acting very immature right now and what she is doing is using your child to get to YOU and she has succeeded, hasn't she? Don't step down to her level by any means. It won't get you anywhere. Try to explain to your son that you two used to be friends and for whatever reason, she must have lost her mind or something -- that she was wrong by treating him that way and someday when SHE grows up, she will realize that.