With glowing beauty she was defined,
Sapphire eyes seduced my mind.
Golden hair, cascading curls,
Pristine skin, the color of pearls.
Her melodic voice, her siren’s call,
Like a magic spell she did enthrall,
Enchanting grace, Perfection’s queen,
Ruler of hearts there in between.
My thoughts revolve around her face,
I long for her in my embrace,
To hold her close within my arms,
Fall victim to her loving charms.
Come what may, I’ll face the task
To have a chance is all I ask.
I only want to make her see,
Joy for her, can come from me.
2006-07-20 04:30:41 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
What about should I post some of the others I have written?
2006-07-20 04:44:44 · update #1
WOW ! It's awesome. You must love her alot.... and she's lucky to have a romantic, compassionate guy who can express his emotions through words. Have you considered publishing it? You should continue writing. Who knows.... you could publish a book... or your writings could even be turned into songs! You have a gift. Keep writing!
2006-07-20 04:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by Primrose 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It could have completely sucked and it would still be great because of who and why you wrote it.
It is good. It is sort of light because of the rhyming which makes it very sweet. The only thing I see as odd is using the word victim. Maybe another word is more appropriate.
Otherwise, that is just the sweetest thing for a husband to do.
2006-07-20 11:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by -- 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first off,my code name is bill but i'm actually a 24 yr. old woman from ny. that is sooooo beautiful & u'r wife is so lucky to have a man with such depth & true heart. that is a great poem-don't let anyone steal it-that's worth publishing but more special 2 keep 4 just u & u'r wife.
2006-07-20 11:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her loving charms will be venom spill,
spill that will polute the entire sea
Seven years of swiming,
come back again with little editing
Hope you stay knotted forever. May God bless u both
2006-07-20 12:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by Eco-Savvy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This poem is awesome. Seriously. Like the stuff you see in books. Really good job.
2006-07-20 11:35:05 · answer #5 · answered by PeacefulThunder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are not just good at writing poems. It takes a whole lot more than that to build a good marriage! Good start, though!
2006-07-20 11:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by Joy RP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful, now the trick is make all of that last for years to come.
2006-07-20 11:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by day by day 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow,that is amazing.I should put you in touch with the Galactic Art and Literature Society.We've never had a representative from Earth before.
2006-07-20 11:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by Hairdood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not bad...but wait till u marry her. i think u will feel the need to make some modification in your poem after the marriage.
2006-07-20 11:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a beautiful poem.. I hope your wife loved it.
2006-07-20 11:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋