I have a child that i am raising by myself. Her father is not interested in taking care of her, refused to sign the birth certificate, will not give me financial help with her, but wants to show her off to his family and many girlfriends...so i denied him rights and visitation because legally Im 100% responsible( she has my last name)...I wont take him to court because i dont think you should make a man responsible using a court system. I also feel if i put it off on him the situation will get ugly and he would introduce my child to his new-found drug/sex/illegal high rolling lifestyle and that would put her in danger....Yahoo am i wrong for denying him rights and not forcing the court system on him?
2006-07-20 04:17:49 · 27 answers · asked by 10caratdiammond 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he started this new drug/illegal lifestyle after we broke up...
2006-07-20 04:26:29 · update #1
You dont need us to answeer that Question MOM.. No your not wrong..He gave up all rights the day he refused to sign that birth certificate..If in deed he is what you say them you do what you must to protect your child in every way...Forget what right or wrong ( PORTECT) Good Luck, God Bless and Hang in there. Your friend in Tennessee....ROB
2006-07-20 04:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are absolutely in the RIGHT! If he refused to do any of that there is NO reason you should let him see her & show her off to those he knows. You definitely do not want to endanger your baby in any way & his lifestyle would do that. Though if HE pushes it he might take you to court to prove he's the father & deseves his rights. If he does that then it would be in both you & your daughter's best interest to get real, actual proof of his drug use, anything illegal he's done. The court will do blood test & after proving he's her father then they will probably look at your proof. They might then give him supervised visitation rights. Not right if you don't want him around her but he won't be with her alone & they might have him doing drug tests before each visit. Stand by your beliefs. Hope everything goes your way.
2006-07-20 11:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by Ghost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is doing things iegally then a court wont help you get money but maybe lock him up. You are right to want to keep you child away from his lifestyle but if he wants to see her he needs to be a father first. If he wants to show her off to people but not take care of her and wants you to be cool with showing her off.
He can get a puppy. A child is not a toy you are protecting your child from him and should keep doing so if he want to visit let him get the test and put on paper he is her father. Until that is done he is just another guy.
2006-07-20 11:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by havocstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmm....well this is a hard one. I think you really need to get legal advice.
To protect your child may take more than what you are doing, I don't know for sure, but if he got it in his mind to just take the child, does he still have legal rights because he is the natural father? Do you have custody through the legal system or do you assume you have total custody because he is not on the birth certificate and he doesn't pay child support. You are absolutley right for not letting him have rights to your child if he would be putting her in a dangerous enviroment. Be careful of his parents though, they too could fight for visitation. I wish you the best!
2006-07-20 11:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, shows u hv grown so much from the time u met and had an affair with this guy. I wish u thought this clearly b/f it all happened. anyway, its never to late to make right what u hv been doing wrong. u r hurt now so its ok 2 say "no" to him, but realize that eventually he will still hv access to the child (2 see him that is), i think u realize this and so asked this question. congrats 4 a job well done with the kid so far (some would hv aborted or abandoned the little one)
How old is the child now?
perhaps put a lawyer on the alert, 'cause this guy like to eat his cake and hv it, so as to protect ur child from his influence while u r introducing her to useful morals... stay blessed.
2006-07-20 11:55:28 · answer #5 · answered by lifejourney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u dont want him to see ok but what did the family do. can u work it were they can see baby. if u denie him than fine but dont say anything about raising alone that was your chose. my husband has a 10 year old hasnt seen her in 9 or so years the mother want to play games using the child. that is not fair . if theres drugs involved i agree. but think he should have to pay child support.if u cant make him responsible why not let the court thats what there for.
good luck
2006-07-20 11:39:45 · answer #6 · answered by robin w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you are absolutey RIGHT ON with your feelings if he is only going to put her in danger there is no need for him in your daughters life. Keep her safe near you at all time if possible show her love unconditional make her your pride and joy. one day you will find a REAL MAN that will accept both of you and become a family the three of you. till then hold you head up and be strong you are doing the right thing. And stay FIRM with your feelings remember the voice in you head and in your heart will never lead you wrong you have to listen not only hear. by the way out of curiosity how old are you?
2006-07-20 11:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by winkicu1108 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you're absolutely doing the right thing cuz you're the only one who has been looking out fir your child and I think that a child needs love from both mother and father and you did your part but he didn't you know?? anyways,you should settle it at court..good luck. and if you still have curiousity in you mind then i suggest you kneel down and ask for god's blessing.. and i think the lord would be happy to help you and remember this : if you're so stressed out and don't know what else to do, the smartest choice is go and take a vacation to a place you really like or at least visit your parents to ask for advice..if they're still alive ( if they have passed away, I'm so sorry) one more thing, good luck!!
2006-07-20 11:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by Dante-rebillion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is not to allow him theright to visit the child. He has other women in his life, they should not be around to influence you child. And as for his parents they may be allowed to see her, only because she is there granddaughter, but that depends on your relationship with them. I would suggest that you do take it to small clams court. and have a legal boundrie set up. He tecnically has no rights to her becasue he did not sign the birth certificate and because there is no proof that he is actually he biological father. I dont say that to offend you, just to make a point. He does not seem responsible enought to deal with this child. if he is into drugs, and obviously other women then Do not let him near YOUR daughter. protect her from what she does not need to experince yet in life.
2006-07-20 11:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by the bests kept secret 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel your child is in danger then don't let her go with him, if he really wants to see her let him see her at your house with supervision. But I do have to say...take that dead beat dad to court and get the child support. Your not entitled to give him visitation just explain to the judge the situation and 9 times out of 10 the judge sides with the mother. But get that child support...you and your daughter need it.
2006-07-20 11:24:07 · answer #10 · answered by ladychineen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋