Is my boyfriends fetish normal & should I be jeleous or try to understand?

Question

My boyfriend has a fetish for a woman to watch him masturbate. I absolutely love watching him because it really turns me on. Problem is that he has a driving NEED for other women to watch him as well. When another woman watched him, there is no physical contact at all, she just watches him masturbate. The women that have watched him seem to enjoy it, but it makes me jeleous that they have seen him do that. I don't want to deny him fulfillment of his needs, but I don't want to feel jeleous either. He is extremely attractive and fit, and I am afraid that one day that one of the women is going to get so turned on that she will try to do more then just watch him. I know for a fact that he gets complete fulfillment from just being watched, but it is the women that make me nervous. He is so attractive that I know how turned on woman get when they seem him naked and doing that. Am I wrong for feeling jeleous? Do you think his fetish for being watched is normal? Please help.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend is perfectly normal, and he just has needs that are a little different. That DOES NOT make him wrong. I think it would help you if you were to meet the women before they watch him. It might ease your mind to know that they know he has a girlfriend. Once you are confident that they are aware that physical contact with him is off limits, then I'm sure you would not feel as jeleous. You may even offer to HELP him find women to watch him, because you would have a role in his fulfillment instead of feeling like an outsider. The term "normal" is only relative to your own relationship, not what other's think. If you can allow your boyfriend to fulfill his needs, while at the same time finding your own peace with his fulfillment, then it is perfectly normal for the two of you. Don't listen to these people who tell you he is wrong. If you love him and that is one of his needs, then there is nothing wrong with it as long as there is no physical contact between him and the woman - and - as long as you find a way to be at peace with it. Just talk to him about your concerns and ask him to help you find comfort with it. He is very lucky to have found a woman who is willing to understand him instead of judging him.

Answer 2

wonder what he'd say if you turned the tables?

tell him you have a "masturbation buddy" you see..you watch him..he watches you and wait for the reaction.

If he is ok with it..run. He doesn't respect you enough to care.

If he isn't, then you two should be honest and open. Tell him that's how you feel about his "fetish" and it's difficult for you to know there is another person that knows, watches and enjoys the privilege of an act the was meant for you two..in private.

For example, I would NEVER tell anyone what happens in my wifes and I's bedroom. That is private and our secret. The whole trust and intimacy thing is what makes our relationship OURS! No one knows but us....

In the long run, it makes our relationship stronger cause I know that she's got my back and I got hers. We know the most intimate things about each other, in turn, there is nothing we feel we have to hide from each other and it makes communicating with each other much easier cause we know it stays between us.

Also, men and women alike, can sometimes make bad decisions on a whim. Things happen in the "heat of the moment". Your boyfriend is putting himself and your relationship in danger...why put himself in that position of temptation?

Since you both are intimate, you should be mature enough to talk about this in the open. Be honest without sounding judgemental and come across as you want what is best for "our relationship" but you also just want to let him have his fun...but without having to bring others into it..that's what YOUR there for!!!!!

Answer 3

Your response is 100% normal. You are already being very feminine by participating in his "style" and watching him masturbate. Don't let yourself be turned into the bad guy here.

The boy has a problem with exhibitionism. He is, in the end, also very selfish. Think about it: he isn't giving YOU his c?ock to play with and enjoy, is he? He's keeping it for himself.

Take some time to consider what your goals are in the relationship. If its just an extended booty call, then why hassle yourself about it? But if you want a long term thing ... he obviously has issues with being monogomous, now doesn't he? Are you going to be comfortable "sharing" him? And, consider that most sexual deviances are not "cured", and that they tend to progress and grow. So, this "sharing" could get lots more physical, and even involve YOU. Consider these things ... and lastly consider that its always easier to stop a bad relationship now, than it is to stop it later.

Again, you are the normal one. Don't feel defensive. You sound like you are very free and open sexually. Tons of guys would like to get their hands ON YOU - and keep them them there, exploring, for a very long time - rather than handle themselves. Wag your bottom and consider a new boyfriend. He's out there, waiting to grab you.


Good luck to you.

.

Answer 4

As long as a fetish doesn't harm someone else, or yourself, it's in the eye of the beholder. Who knows what "normal" is?
I do think your boyfriend's leaves the two of you wide open for problems. I may be old fashioned, but if two people are in a committed relationship, there is no room for someone else to participate, know what I mean. It's asking for trouble. This advice is from a divorcee whose ex wanted a wife AND girlfriends - does not compute if the guy really cares and respects you.

Answer 5

Hard one. I think the realm of "normal" extends a lot further than most people admit to, so yeah, no big deal, and his fetish isn't really hurting anyone. It just makes for a slightly harder relationship for you.
So yes, moving in that direction:
a) you can try to get over jealousy (not wrong, but probably not good for you). Focus on how much you love him
b) what about meeting and choosing the women who watch him, and getting to know them (somehow, this is an easier thing to share with them). Talk to them about this as well. They will know the most about how you and they feel about it.

Good luck. I really don't think you have that much to worry about. It's not freakish, just a bit...different. :-)

Answer 6

Honestly doubt he is perverted and just like you getting pleasure from watching him doesn't make you abnormal either.. now if he starts doing that on the street corner that is another story lol.
Your jealousy issue is another thing, but if you both are not in a committed relationship this is quite normal too.
If it bothers you ... tell him not to tell you about the others.

Answer 7

where do these other women come from? does he invite them in to his home to watch? If so yes it is a problem. If he is just doing it over the internet then let him, its not hurting you and is probabally making him look like an a**. I would laugh in his face if he came up to me and said,"would you like to watch me masturbate I really get off on it." Its ok for you to watch him but dont let him bring strange women in to his house thats freaky

Answer 8

I think this fetish is kinda weird, but who am i to judge? Anyway, if you two have a real relationship, I think those other women should just disappear from his life. Try to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Then you should know what to do.

Answer 9

If you are seeking a monogamous relationship, your b/f has a serious deficiency in this department. It's all about having sexual intimacy with one person.

Your b/f's fetish strikes me as harmless enough, but his need for other women rather impedes what you are seeking.

You need to come to a decision of what you want in a life relationship.

Answer 10

You are crazy. This isn't normal at all. Leave the guy, and get yourself into a normal relationship.

Of course, if you are also a freak, you could masterbate and invite all the guys to come watch. Your bf might like that!