My husband has just resentaly started school. I understand that he needs time to work on his school work, but its like i am invisible to him now. I have no one to talk to. He never talks to me, he doesnt touch me anymore. and he always brings his friend over after school to help him, but this kid doesnt leave until midnight(most nights) and that doesnt leave much time for us. Its like we are living tow different lives. I guess my question is, is this normal? Should this be happening?
2006-07-20 04:08:09 · 17 answers · asked by JOJO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not like any of youa re going to look at this agian, but I did go to school, and finished. I do understand that its hard work. i am not saying its easy and that i want him to just give me all the attention, I do support him. I love that he is trying to get an edu.. I make sure dinner is cooked and the house is clean. Oh and trust me I have talked to him about this. i just wanted to know if its this hard. i have never been on this side before.
2006-07-20 04:27:08 · update #1
The first question I have is...have you tried talking to him about how your feeling?
If he is going to be working until midnight every night...can he take a 30 minute break to eat dinner together and talk? Then go back to his work so you can go onto bed?
If he feeling overwhelmed? Pressured? Scared?
Nothing will change until the two of you talk about it. And just because something is "normal" or "common" does NOT mean it's "BEST". Don't base your reaction on what commonly happens....base your reaction on what is the best solution for both of you.
Be as supportive and helpful as possible....he may feel he's under tremendous pressure to do well with this to make a better life for the two of you.
2006-07-20 04:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is totally normal....my husband and I both went back to school...I went first...then he started the following year. It is really tough. I am not sure if you have been to college, but it's nothing like high school...even a jr. college...it consumes almost all of your time...I didn't have time to cook dinner most nights, and the clothes might get washed, but not folded or put away. It was a lot easier when we were both going to school...it gave us something to do together, and we were able to help each other instead of having "study groups" with other students. Just try to be patient and understanding with him....he is trying to get an education so that he can do something better with his life and make more money to take care of his family better. It will be hard, but it is a means to an end, so to speak , and will be worth it in the long run.
2006-07-20 11:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello JoJo, no this isn't normal and it shouldn't be happening.
It's great that he can go back to school but he needs to remember to budget his time for school work along with other things such as being a husband! Sit down to dinner with him this weekend if you can and remain positive but talk to him about setting aside at least an hour each day if not more to be with you!
Maybe there are things you can do for him to make it easier to have this time with you. Both of you need to make compromises here for the sake of your relationship
I wish you the best.
2006-07-20 11:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy that he's preparing himself for a better life for both of you. If you think not getting the attention that you would like is that bad try putting yourself in his place. He has a great big weight on his head, with all the studying he has to do, don't pile more on by making him feel guilty about neglecting you.
No one going to school is doing it as a recreation. It's hard work and takes time. Give him your sympathy - - not a hard time.
2006-07-20 11:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey
have you finished school? it is very hard to finish school once you have started your life. Let him study or he will resent you! Instead of interrupting his study time ask him when he isn't busy for a DATE, that time is uninterrupted, like a date should be, let it be on a Saturday night, or whatever night is the least busy for him. And in the mean time, if you haven't finished, perhaps you should also get on the band wagon and look for something that intrigues you so you can also further your education, don't forget about you!
2006-07-20 11:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by rayjenne24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be supportive and help him through school. It's really hard to focus on a career and a marriage. Tell him to set aside a few hours out of the week for you. Play a board game, go for a walk, have dinner. It sucks...but school does consume you.
2006-07-20 11:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by Farrah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband may just have a lot on his mind with school and if he is working also. The school may be just to much for him. You need to support him and if you need to save some time for just him and let him know that you and him needs some time just for you two. IF he is not wanting to do that just tell him that you need to have some time to talk with just the two of you and no one else should be there. The way it sounds is that you two are newly weds and if you are you just have to let him know that you are not happy with the way it is right now.
2006-07-20 11:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by Roberta D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll be more than willing to fill in until he finishes school. Seriously, he is working toward something, instead of complaining, why aren't you helping him. And it is a short term thing too. He will finish school. And in the long run probably make both of your lives better.
2006-07-20 11:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by ready4it45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal. Give some space on week days and ask him to take you to movies or quite dinner on weekends. Remind him how much you love him and what a great social work he is doing.Tell him that how proud you are for the work he is doing.
2006-07-20 11:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is jsut trying to get his schoolwork done, and maybe he is making some new friedns along the way. But no matter what you both need to make time for each other. Try talking to him about your feelings, not the Yahoo world.
2006-07-20 11:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by heatherdrake2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋