Is anyone else against "Crying It Out?"?

Question

My 4 month old has trouble sleeping occasionally and I've been told to let her 'cry it out'. I tried this once and will never do it again because it was so traumatic for her and me. Is anyone else against this? Or is it just me and my baby is going to end up spoiled?

Answer 1

You should be proud of yourself. Always listen to your instincts. There are MUCH better ways and much more nurturing loving ways to get your child to go to sleep, but it involves more work than the scientific Ferberizing approach of "crying it out". Check out "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Also any books by Dr William Sears and/or Martha Sears. I had trouble for what seemed like forever getting my baby to sleep without rocking or bouncing her every night but now I can put her in her crib, read a few books (while she's in her crib) and then I lay on the floor until she falls asleep which takes about 10 min if that once she lays down. It's a small price to pay for a happy baby that knows mommy isn't going anywhere. AND when she wakes up in the middle of the night she puts herself back to sleep without mommy's help. She is far from spoiled but knows I'm right there when she needs me. As a mom you can tell a fake cry from a real one and when it's real my best advice is to be there for her. Your baby's not being manipulative, she's probably scared and needs your comfort. Don't listen to the people who tell you that your spoiling her, it's complete crap. Sure crying it out works, but that doesn't mean it's right. Good luck to you both.

Answer 2

I'm not against letting them cry it out. Both of my boys (28 months old and 12 months old) had many a "crying it out" session when they were younger. As long as you KNOW nothing is wrong with her, it really won't hurt her. I know it's traumatic (the first few times it happened with my boys, I was standing outside their doors crying right along with them, lol) but it takes more than once to get it to work. I would rather let my baby cry it out a few nights or a week in a row and eventually have them fall asleep on their own, then to have to rock my son to sleep every night until he's 3 years old...

Answer 3

I haven't gotten that far yet - she's only 1 month old. But when the time comes, I honestly don't think I can do it either. It's not natural to let the one thing you love most in the world suffer and be unhappy when you can pick her up and she's all better. I'd much rather rock her to sleep everynight or consol her how she needs it then see her be unhappy. I'm her mother and that being said, I need to make her happy, whatever way possible. The books & doctors say that you cannot spoil a child under the age of 1, but they do become creatures of habit. If you cant stand to let her cry, pick her up and give her love. Your her mother, thats what we signed on for when we got pregnant. Good luck -

Answer 4

I believe that letting them "cry it out" begin the disconnect from us a too young of an age. I have never let my daughter do that, and I won't. Sometimes, I wait 5 minutes to see if she will calm down, but then I go get her. If your 4 month old is already sleeping by herself in the crib, you are doing better the 95% of the parents out there. How would you feel if the only person in the world that you know left you alone and you cried and screamed for them and they never came??? I read a book once that a child first job is learn total dependence on you. Your first job is to establish there dependence. They spent the rest of their life trying to become independent. Why at this special time deprive them of that?

Answer 5

I am a mother of a 4 month old and a 20 month old... Personally I don't like letting either of them cry it out.... if I can fill that need then I do it.. but I said NEED. there is a big difference... when they are very young everything is a need... when they get older it isn't so much a need but more of a wont on some things....

Answer 6

Unfortunately, not everyone is as sensitive as you.

I am not a mother, but I've watched others' children... (One time I watched a 5-month-old overnite while the rest of the family- Mom, Dad, and 2 older brothers went camping!)

Babies cry to communicate- "I'm hungry"... "I'm tired"... "My diaper is wet"... "Something hurts"... "I'm scared"... "I want to be held"...

If it's something I can fix- hungry, diaper or burping, of course- I'll fix it right away.

But sometimes, I can't just hold the child and she's just going to have to deal with not being in my arms- I might have to make a meal for the other children, or take care of some other business that can't really be done with a baby in my arms.

On occasion, I am just not emotionally equiped to handle a baby who is crying for a reason that I can't fix, who won't calm. Those times, I WILL put them in their bed, close the door, and walk away- I'd rather them cry and cry and cry than have me get upset and do something unkind.

Answer 7

I understand that sometimes babies just cry...but I have never let my son just cry it out. I would let him cry for a few minutes (no more than 5) and then go in his room to comfort him for a few minutes and then he'd usually be OK and go to sleep. What we do is he gets his bottle in the rocking chair in his room,(if he's hungry) and then we cuddle for a few minutes while we rock. If he doesn't get a bottle we still rock for a few minutes before he goes into his bed. He goes into his bed before he falls asleep and he doesn't fuss. He's almost 1 yr. now and this is what we've been doing for at least 6 months now.

I understand not letting your daughter cry it out...I don't like it either. Just get into a routine and she should adjust pretty quickly. Good luck!!

Answer 8

babies have reasons to cry we will never understand but a few minutes of crying wont hurt like waiting for a bottle to be filled if she cries at night try co sleeping it makes them feel more secure and no a baby cant be too spoiled ,,,i would rather do without sleep and know my baby is fine than listen to the crying

Answer 9

I have NEVER let mine CRY IT OUT...They know when they feel unsafe. Now when they are 4 or 5 and still crying, maybe that is a different story. Not that mine are treated any differently now than when they were infants, I still run to them and pet and love on them when they can't sleep. A baby knows when it needs sleep and you can't force. Just make sure it is as comfortable, dry, and well fed as possible.

Answer 10

Let them cry, if they are not needing food, dry butt,or if they are not hurt let the child cry!Being raised in the south this is an old trick we use to let our kids know it's bed time.If they cry and you pick them up then a child will expect that always when he or she cries.It's NOT being MEAN!And it is not bad treatment either.It just show's the child that it is bed time,not play time.If you dont stop it now, be prepared for a lot of sleepless night's!And when they get older whoop them when they need it.That's one thing wrong with today's children,they know they can run over us! WE ARE THE PARENT'S,NOT THE KID'S AND MORE PARENT'S SHOULD TAKE BACK CONTROL!!!!