I really dislike this girl everyone think is sweet but I know the real deal about her . She has everyone fooled about how she really is they think she is so sweet and wouldn't do certain things and I know for a fact she is not what she seems. She even got my bfriend thinking she could never do certain things I know she has done . How do you deal with not liking someone I am fake around her like she does not bother me but the truth is I could jump down her throat for a lot of names and things she has called me and my bfriend. I am not jealous of her just know her game and wish everyone could see behind the fake smile and her fake ways. Should I continue to be fake and act like she does not bother me and just get over my grudge? Also, how do you deal with grudges.?
2006-07-20 02:58:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks everyone is giving really good advice.
2006-07-20 03:06:13 · update #1
If she's as bad as you say, consider yourself fortunate that you don't need to waste any more time on her. To continue to think about how much you dislike her is having a negative influence on YOU! Go out and live your life. Stay away from her as much as possible. There are lots of good, fun people in the world. Find them.
2006-07-20 03:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by clarity 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Grudges hurt only one person. You!
The person you talk about may be totally fake but you have to know that when anyone is fake it catches up with them sooner or later.
You say you have no jealousy but I think you do. You know what she is really like and you see everybody, including your boyfriend, not see her for what she is because she is so fake and sweet.
She puts on a front for everyone. This is a true sign of a low self esteem. She thinks that if everyone really knew her they would not like her so she becomes someone else.
Don't be that way. Don't put on a front for anyone. Just because you don't like her does not mean you have to make her think you do. If she asks what is wrong tell her.
And don't let her call you and your boyfriend names. Be ready and go right back at her.
Do not hold a grudge. This only hurts you and will not do a thing to change her. Be up front and honest and she may see what she is doing. You never know the influence you can have until you try.
Her feelings about you have nothing to do with reality. If she is down on you there is something going on there. She may be jealous of you. YES it is possible.
2006-07-20 03:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was youjnger I used to hold grudges and not speak to people for days. I was never fake, so if I didn't like you, you knew it. As an older person I've realized how much time and ENERGY goes into disliking someone. You will be stressed out and sick and they will still continue to be their usual self. You don't have to be fake, simply don't communicate with her. I would tell her one time "I don't care for you and I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to me". You mind had been spoken and you won't feel all tense inside. When I was shy I was miserable, but once I learned to speak my mind, I feel so relieved. Don't worry about what other people think or say about you or your actions towards anyone you don't care for. A lot of times just saying what's on you mind will help you feel better.
Remember, don't let other peoples issues become your issues.
2006-07-20 03:06:21 · answer #3 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time. She's not worth it.... and eventually her true colors will be seen by others. TIME will tell. I would just avoid her and forget her. One thing is true: You don't have control over who she is and what she does. You ONLY have control over your own attitude. Don't let her control YOUR feelings. If you do that, you give her all the power! Regarding the grudge thing.... it might help if you could turn the "bad" feelings you have towards her ... into "pity" feelings for her. Afterall..... how sad it is for her to have to go through life "pretending" to be someone she's not! It is, indeed, pathetic. Don't hate on her.... just feel sorry for her! Eventually, you may even forgive her for all the things she's said and done to hurt you and your bfriend. Life is short..... go out there and enjoy it! Good luck.... and PEACE be with you!
2006-07-20 03:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by Primrose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from an prolonged line up of grudges...I actual have parents who have been very poisonous in parenting us teenagers, regarded like each and every thing went incorrect, and it replaced into anybody else's fault why some thing occurred that wasn't precise. in basic terms therapy that i got here upon replaced into combating the bellyaching and understanding that i'm the single in maximum suitable administration of my life and if I enable human beings/issues hassle me that plenty then I have not everyone else in charge yet myself. a technique or the different it takes the exciting out of having grouchy over issues once you place the concentration on your self and not others :-/
2016-12-10 11:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by condon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am terrible with grudges. I hold on forever. Don't piss me off, cause I will hate you for a long time!!! I wish I wasn't that way. It only hurts myself. I wouldn't let her get to you. That is what she is all about. People will see her for what she really is.... just give it time. She can only keep up the performance for so long. I know you'd love to kick her a@*! But really, she's not worth it and your a better person for not doing it. You are on the right track.
2006-07-20 03:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not pretend to like somebody that you really and rather not like. You deal with grudges with time-forgetting-moving on with some real friends. You'll feel balanced and so much better about yourself when you stop bringing this person home with you - by thinking about her.
2006-07-20 03:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't HAVE to like anyone...is normal not to like some people. I would not be fake about it, you can be polite without being fake. As far as her game, people will find out about her on their own. You are making yourself miserable by taking ownership of her actions and what people think. Give it up and you will feel a lot better.
2006-07-20 03:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by latina44572002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a grudge against someone can consume you.
but never ever be fake stay out of the persons company that way you not a hypocrit but forgive the person irrespective and you will see that you will look at the situation diferently
2006-07-20 03:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by ambidextrous25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be cool around her, you don't have to like her, but don't lose your cool you know. It sounds like you hold it together pretty well because you smile at her when she's around. As long as she doesn't ever step on your toes or say something wrong, just continue to do what you are doing.
It's one girl that works with me that I don't care that much for either. Whenever she comes around, I find myself just like you, smiling and being nice, but when she's gone...I'm biting my teeth and trying to call her a *****. Like I said, just be cool. I do!
2006-07-20 03:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by CTargrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋