HI i am 18 and maried to a 26 year old only 2 months maried and already problems what to do?

Question

I MEAN I ALWAYS TRY TO BE NICE BUT HE JUST ;ALWAYS HURTS MY FEELINGS YELLING AT ME HE IS SO OVERPROTECTIVE I FEEL LIKE HE IS MYFATHER NOT LOVER WHAT CAN I DO IN OUR RELIGOIN I CAN NOT DIVORCE HIM BUT I THINK I WILL KILL MYSELF IF I DONT GET HELP

Answer 1

Marriage is a constant struggle. It requires a lot af patience, hard work and dedication. The union is actually a battle of dominance at times and if you think of it like a chess game you will "Checkmate" and come out the winner everytime.

Answer 2

I understand EXACTLY, my husband and I are 6 years apart. We've been married almost 2 years and yes, even now I still sometimes feel like he acts more like a dad than a husband. I think this happens a lot.
At first it was all the time so, I told him to stop treating me like a child, I'm his wife, his partner, we are even. His argument was that I didn't know what its like in the world and that he didn't want to see me get hurt.
I said I love him and that when I need support or advice, I'd ask for it. And that's worked most of the time.
Also, he probable feels like your much more adult than most people your age.
The best thing to do is talk to him, not argue, yell or fight and it will take a while longer but if you keep your ground and show him that your an adult and should be treated like one than he will see that and start to act accordingly.
Good luck and your not alone!!

Answer 3

Oh dear, 18 is young to be married.

It sounds like you do not have an equal relationship. I don't know what your religion is, but it seems you are stuck with this man for life so unless you sort this out soon, your whole life could be miserable.

You need to make him aware of how he makes you feel. If he is a decent man he will respect that he upsets you and will try to moderate his behaviour. A marriage is built on love and mutual respect, if he treats you like a child he is not putting you on the same level as him. He must see that you are an equal partner and treat you as such.

There is no harm in being protective. I am protective of my wife. But not overprotective. That will smother a person and make them resentful.

Do you have someone you can talk to about this? Someone who knows the both of you. A sibling? Friend? Parent? It will help to get it off your chest and to take another persons view on it.

Without knowing you, your character and background, it is difficult to give specific advise, but my gut feeling is that you need to be open and strong in what you want from your life. At 18 that is a difficult thing to do. You are being forced to grow up fast and make big choices sp hopefully you will step up to that challenge and live a long and happy life.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like he's extremely insecure about this relationship. He probably feels like since you are so young, you'll want experiences that he can't give within the marriage, hence the father figure routine. If you seriously feel like killing yourself is the only way out, get counseling NOW! Together if it's possible, alone if it's not. A good counselor will help you sort out your feelings and better communicate with your partner.

I also respectfully disagree with Clarity's answer. Marriage, in my opinion, is not a "struggle" that needs to be won. A good marriage is a partnership where a couple is working together and compromising when they don't see eye to eye. The chess game analogy is apt, because it amounts to game playing, and nobody ends up winning in that scenario.

All in all, if you can't leave, as you have said, get professional help. It is worth it, trust me I have experience in this matter.

Answer 5

I'm 18 and married to a 26 yr old too!!!! and i know what you mean about feeling like hes treating you like hes the father. Ive learned that the first year of marriage is the hardest. If he is always yelling at you, just dont do anything that he can blame you for later, like when he yells at me, i try not to yell back or have an attitude because when ill tell him, you hurt me that you yell at me all the time, he'll have something ot throw back at me. so when he yells, let him fight by himself, just go to your own little happy place , calm down, let him calm down, and then bring the subject up later, tell him he hurt you.

10 pts pls

Answer 6

Don't even think suicide. Can you imagine all the people you will end up hurting if you decide to do something as stupid as that?

Sit down with your spouse and tell him exactly how you are feeling. Perhaps your spouse does not realize he is yelling, and how overprotective he is. I suggest marriage counseling if things don't improve after you talk with him.

Answer 7

You've got a tough row to hoe young lady. As a general rule, (hate to tell you so) abusive, over-protective people do not alter their behavior without a great deal of help. If YOU see his behavior as a problem and he doesn't, you're in for a long miserable time. Can you get away from him for a time to give yourself time to think about what you want in a long term marriage and how you can proceed? Find a women's safe house in your area and talk with the folks there. Please know that there are people who care about you and want what is best for you.

Answer 8

You are very young, why not go back to school part time if this is allowed, go to your doctor and organize to see a counselor so you are more confident with your self. If he continues to shout at you then, you talk very calm to him, if this escalated to violence then get out now. Never mind getting a divorce, just leave and report the abuse to the authorities.

Answer 9

you are too young . talk to him and tell him how u feel about what he is doing to u.no matter how hard it is how can you kill yourself. u are going to be dead and he going to continue with his life and get married again.so show him that he married you cause he thought u are woman and he should stop treating like his baby.l don't think someone can marry a baby. don't kill ur self for anyone it is not the answer. do something about it.

Answer 10

In any relationship one party dominates the other- he is setting his domination on course.

What you call "OverProtective" is really Controling you. He is worried, someone will get in your pants.