My husband (step parent to my 15 year old son) does not like the way I have raised my son. He feels that my son is disrespectful to me. I do not feel that my son is disrespectfull. I have asked my husband to respect the way I have chosen to parent. The problem is that when I am not around my husband gets in my sons face and tells him that the way he acts is wrong. This confuses my son because he is being sent two completely differant messages. My husband also complains constently about my son. This morning I asked my husband again to respect my choices and decisions and he blew up at me. He started yelling and slaming things and proceeded to call my son several names. My son heard the entire thing. My husband then said that if he is going to continue living here then he will not say one word to my son and he does not want my son to say a word to him. I responded by telling him that if that was the case he should find a new place to live. I need input about how to handle this.
2006-07-20 00:14:22 · 5 answers · asked by B 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I should add that my sons teachers and other adults in our community have always complimented me on how well mannered my son is. My son is not perfect (he is a teen) but I really feel that my husband is being unreasonable. My husband was raised my a physically abusive man and a mother who was to weak to stand up for her son.
2006-07-20 00:26:57 · update #1
I should also add that my husband has never said that my son treats him disrespectfully. His only complaint is that he feels my son is disrespectlful to me. I will give an example of what my husband says he considers disrespectful. We were at an amusment park, my son and his friend had gone off to ride some rides while my hsband and I walked around. I had gotten a glass of ice because I was hot. My son and his friend met up with us and I offered them the rest of my ice. They ate it and went on another ride. I waited at the exit and when my son got off he asked me where I had gotten the ice. I told him at the vendor and I asked him if he wanted me to go get him some, I didn't wait for a response I just walked over and got him some ice. When I went to get the ice my husband told my son that I had gotten my own ice earlier and that he should go get his own ice. My husband told me he was upset because even though my son had said thank you to me, he also rolled his eyes.
2006-07-20 01:21:35 · update #2
Maybe the hubby has disrespect confused with him feeling like your son uses you as a doormat or waitress, something along those lines. You have to remember this not your son's biological father and therefore there is no Bio-Bond. Your son is basically just like any other person in the world to your husband. When your husband feels your son is not treating you right your husband most likely feels "some one is messing with my wife" which for a husband, usually creates some very strong emotions.
It also works in reverse and is the same for step moms
2006-07-21 03:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by Carp 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate step fathers. I love mothers. Your husband has control issues with you, because he doesn't respect how you raise your son and he wants to have complete control so that he can do the job for you. He doesn't respect that you son is becoming a man and his relationship with you (mother) is still developing. You guys went through the infant, toddler, pre/post puberty together. You can handle your son. Tell you husband to support your decisions and stop trying to change them, and most of all "Stay the Hell out of your Son's Face!)
2006-07-20 00:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hoo boy, you got a mess! Find the nearest children and youth counselor and make an appointment. You need help big time!! It's too bad step-parenting wasn't negotiated before the deal was cut. Your husband needs to relax and realize he cannot be a parent to your son. Getting him to do that is going to be tough given what you've written. In truth, he's the one who needs the help and you MAY be able to get it for him. I would also suggest that you re-examine your parenting for signs that you allow behavior which will cause problems. What is respectful behavior to one is outlandish to another and I've seen children who seemed disrespectful to me, do quite well as adults. Various parenting techniques WILL work. BUT you and your husband need to get some sort of agreement or life is going to get even more miserable. There is help available and you need to find it.
2006-07-20 00:24:23 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your teen, having a chum over your position even as you've been out is so unacceptable. You did not element out in case your youngster is a guy or a lady. Being contained in the protection rigidity for two decades is sweet because he became uncovered to distinct eventualities of disciplining. he's not too not basic nor unforgiving. he's purely attempting to circumvent issues. i imagine he has causes. Why do not you sit down consisting of your youngster, communicate issues and let him voice out what he has in suggestions. i'm positive he a an truly good reason. communication will carry decrease back peace. good success!
2016-12-01 23:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long did you and your hubby date before you got married? He knew the situation coming into the marriage....he has no right to call you on it now......I agree that if he's got serious issues with the way you raise your son, he needs to leave......if he really loves you though, he'll stay and try to see things from your perspective.
Also though, by you marrying him, you agreed to have his input....so, therefore, you really need to think about what he's saying. Would you want your son to treat all women the way he treats you? Does he have manners?
Anyway, good luck....hope things work out!!
2006-07-20 00:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋