2006-07-19 23:56:21 · 7 answers · asked by peaches619982003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, to me it has nothing to do with the legal side. My wife and I were married 12yrs and she moved out 9 months ago. We are now legally separated. She started dating about a month later, if not before she moved out. Me on the other had, I can't even think of seeing another woman besides my wife. So in my opinion you shouldn't date until your heart is healed and you can devote all of your attention to a new person. It would not be fair to another person for me to date them when I am still in love with my wife.
2006-07-20 01:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by scheib65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, it would not be an 'affair' until after court date where the filing is finalized.
All depends on what you mean by "ok to start dating again".
Do you mean that you just want to go out and have some fun and do the things that you wanted to do instead of the 'duty' of a relationship? Perhaps one answer is that if people took care of themselves in a relationship, their own emotional health and stability instead of 'giving so much of themselves' that they are drained and the relationship becomes untenable for one or both people - the relationship wouldn't have failed in the first place.
Do you mean, ok to start looking for someone else to fulfill some needs that you think can only be taken care of by someone else? Perhaps the answer is that it may be necessary to do some evaluation of what are really 'needs' and what are unhealthy dependancies on other people - things that might have caused the marriage to fail and will continue to cause problems in any future relationship.
Do you mean, ok to start dating to get away from the 'unpleasant' emotions that the divorce is causing - such as grief, sadness, anger, loss, depression? Perhaps some time is necessary to process those emotions away from using other people or relationships in an attempt to escape those emotions. Unprocessed emotions will just continue to resurface until they are dealt with and truly felt.
After a divorce is something called the 'crazy time' - where people go a bit insane trying to process a divorce. Any kind of relationship that develops in this time is highly likely to be unhealthy for both people involved - even if it is just casual dating.
Do you mean, ok to start dating - without hurting myself or other people in the process? That, is up to how well you process grief and how much you work on yourself - hopefully with the aid of a counselor or professional. At the least - a year for any kind of marriage. The majority, 2-3 years after a divorce. Many never heal and will continue to have worse and worse relationships because of the accumulated load of unprocessed emotions and grief.
I hope you'll work through this period with the help of a professional to process the loss of your marriage. Take care.
2006-07-20 00:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by DW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling rule of thumb says:
one month for every year
AFTER the divorce.
2006-07-20 00:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course finalised
2006-07-20 00:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by amazingsofty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
finalized
2006-07-19 23:59:46 · answer #5 · answered by bill6866 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as you are living alone
2006-07-20 00:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by polockpete40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u are separated do what u want
2006-07-20 00:03:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋