Is there such a thing as the 'too comfortable' relationship?

Question

A friend of mine is happier than she's ever been, and has married the guy who makes her feel that way. Now she's worried about "everything else that's out there" and that her relationship is "too comfortable". Anyone else ever dealt with these feelings, or is she just too dumb to know when she's well off? Any advice I can give her from people who've been there would be cool.

Answer 1

Is too uncomfortable or too boring and predictable?

I have never been in the too comfortable relationship, but I have been to Maldives. Tiny island with almost no one there, the weather - perfect - 31,5 C all the year round, pleasant wind, water as blue as on the postcards, food fantastic, beaches raked of dead leaves every morning, hammocks on every second palm. We lived in a little house by the sea just for me and my loved one. After one week in this paradise I was going bananas!
Some people (like me) need higher level of stimulation than the others. Not necessary to "chase the rabbit", but to be surprised, to share some excitement. Finding a hobby together is a good idea. I remember I used to roller-skate with my boyfriend. I couldn’t wait to tell him what I found out each day about our interest or to go skating with him. And he was as crazy about it as me.
Certainly under a phrase "too comfortable" is a need for something your friend is lacking. She needs an honest talk with her husband before is too late.
Maybe it's communication? Is he the person she wants to talk to if something that strikes her happens? If not they might eventually grow apart.
To me the relationship is like a flame, you have to keep putting to it to keep it burning.

Answer 2

Sure is .... easy, very easy. We start to take the other for granted, stop appreciating the little things, the kind things, the loving things....I am in that boat right now..my fault, their fault...doesn't make any difference. I strongly suggest that things that are out of the ordinary happen all the time....flowers for NO reason other than to say, "I love you." (men like flowers too, don't be sexist about this). A special meal, a night out...even McDonald's can be fun. Go camping in the back yard if it is private...have sex in strange places...even different rooms. A night at a sleazy motel occasionally...you don't have to spend all night, just the sex part. Play games..pick each other up at a bar, etc...keep it fresh! It is such a shame to discover just how much you love someone AFTER they have left seeking "new," when what they wanted was at home all along. Keep the egos stroked, keep the brains occupied, and love will burn bright. Good luck

Answer 3

I've had a guy get too comfortable with me too quickly and stop appreciating me. If her man's not appreciating her - and she's not appreciating her man - then they should work on that. (If neither of them will work on it, then that's an issue). Otherwise it seems to me that this is a case of "the grass is greener." I've heard it a lot from people in long-term relationships: they miss the thrill of the chase, the thrill of being chased, etc, but those I know gamely admit that there are pluses to both sides once I point this out.

Ask her to get more specific. All right, she thinks they're too comfortable. Why? What does he do that makes her feel this way? Try getting more to the root of the problem and then working on that.

Answer 4

As long as "too comfortable" doesn't actually mean that they take each other for granted...then how can they possibly be too comfortable?

Isn't that kinda what we all want to achieve...a nice happy level of comfort? Whether it's a comfortable lifestyle, job, a relationship...comfort is like the be all end all...you've "made it" when you achieve comfort.

So if they are comfortable together...fantastic, have her count her blessings and find something else to worry about..like why she doesn't own a Dyson...her vacumming could be really comfortable.

Answer 5

shes an idiot