I had the best friend ever-a guy,say 'B'.But my then-bf ruined everything.Now we aren't talking.Read on...

Question

I was doin my A-levels. I got really close to B.We'd discuss anythin on Earth,he was my best friend.He fixed me up wid his close friend though he,himself liked me,I liked him 2,but I never told him bcoz I was scared of losin his friendship.Later,my bf tried every single thing to break our strong friendship.I didn't know,I believed everythin he said abt 'B' & I told B many mean things,very hurting stuff - he's a sensitive guy.Now I tried contactin him,he wants nothin to do with me.It's over 4months,I'm not able to forget him.What do I do?I try distracting myself,but his thoughts come back to me at night,& in my dreams.I'm going crazy! My friends tell me to forget him.But what do they know we were always together - in class,at home-on d phone,all night talkin on line,& how attached we were2each other?He always cared for me.B's mother cant stand me.Wat if she's brain-washed him?Direct communication hasn't worked.He's changed his number,gives d phone2mom (landline).HELP!Btw,no common frenz

He doesn't have an E-mail Id. His parents have banned him from using the internet because something 'dirrty' popped up once. As for mailing him, I don't know his Postal Address - and his mother will get hold of it. So I cant do that. As for that inner voice, yes i did keep thinking he wouldn't have done that, but then what to do? My bf told him stuff about me and he spoke rude, so did I. Now he doesn't know whether to trust me or not. That's the last thing he said in my face.

Thanks a ton,Gwenwifar & Psychia22! Your words really make me feel lots better. Someone I can share all this with!

B and I no more study together. I have no clue where he's doing his further education. And I never spoke harsh in front of anyone - only when I was alone with him,did I hurt him with my rude words. As for the locker idea,like I said, I don't see him anymore! About my boyfriend,I got rid of him 5months back. Thanks to my parents who recognized him for the monster he is. I'll check out the directory,but he'd told me they might shift to some place else. Then what do I do? I guess I'll just have to pray for a chance meeting or I'll have to move on...I am on the road to recovery,but I wanna be atleast friends with him!!! Any more suggestions? Btw, I know for sure,he's still here, in my city.

Answer 1

here's an idea...
put it in writing. send it to his email, or write to him at home. because he won't actually be talking to you in real time, you won't be right there to see his response or expect a reaction, he will be tempted to read it... maybe curiosity will win out. i'll bet he misses you too, and is just trying to lick his wounds in private. he probably doesn't want to talk to you directly because he is afraid of what you will say. but a letter is different. he can stop reading any time... he doesn't have to worry about someone else seeing him hurt, or about what he might say, it's all between him and a piece of paper, private. he'll be able to read it over and over and make sure he gets it. then he may be more receptive.
then again, he may never open the letter...
and as for you... how can you just believe all this bad stuff about this closest friend, just like that? wasn't there some part of you that thought, "he wouldn't have done that"? when you spoke to him so often, why did you not say, "i heard this on the grapevine, is it true"? what kind of friend were you not to at least give him the benefit of the doubt?

so he doesn't have email and you don't know his address? you have a phone number, get the phone book out or call information to get an address. if you're afraid his mother will intercept, use a boy's name for a return address. or leave it in his locker, or on his desk, or whatever. quit crying about it and find a way to get it to him. heck, walk up to him in class and put it in his hand. then if he keeps ignoring you, at least you know you tried.

Answer 2

Tell me you have the ability to see each other face to face! This guy was for real and I'm sorry your bf thought it was worth tearing apart. I don't have to tell you to about what you did wrong. You've figured that out yourself. My advice first get rid of the bf because they aren't helping to fix this problem after seeing you so miserable. Tell him you are S_O_R_R_Y and you mean it. You've stopped the person that came between you from having the title of your friend. Tell him, you hope that he forgives you.
If you can't forget him, something's up. If you can take back all the things you said by going to the people you said it to and admit you were wrong so his reputation's intact.
If you can't reach him because of the changes he's made. You have to forgive yourself- because you would have done all it took to turn it back but he didn't allow a way to.
As far as Life is concerned as long as you learn a lesson from this, you can move on. I really do hope you somehow reach him. Somehow. If not, I truly am sorry for you...truly.