Does anyone have any funny stories to tell?

Answer 1

Well, it's not funny, but there was this one about this drummer that was having an arguement with his fiance about something, and he got into this car accident and lost his arm, and his band said, "Hey! let's make a drum set, that let's him keep playing the drums for us!" And the fans said, "Hey! he's just as cool as he used to be!.... Even without the arm!"

Cool nickname.

Answer 2

When I was a sophomore in high school, my friends and I went to this party that eventually got busted by the cops. We were trashed. The cop asked her where she was supposed to be, and she said, "With her" (pointing to me). He asked me the same question, and I gave the same answer as my friend. He was getting kinda p!ssed, and asked where WE were supposed to be. I said, "With him", and pointed to a guy friend of ours who was hauling b@lls down the street, away from all the cops.

Anyway, we spent the night at the running kid's house. We had to be out before his parents woke up, so we were going to jump off his balcony and run to a friend's waiting car. Everyone made it down okay except for me. I went to jump, and my cape (yes, cape) got caught on a protruding nail, and I hung there like an idiot. I couldn't get down. It woke up his parents and everything- they came out onto the patio and saw my legs dangling.

Eventually my cape ripped and I made it to the car, and laughed my @ss off the whole way home.

Answer 3

True story. One time my parents where going to a restaurant with my brother and he was very young then. At the end of the meal my brother had eaten so much but he still wanted a chocolate ice cream, so pointing at the ice cream from the menu, he said to my mom "i want this", but because he had eaten so much my mom said "no, that's called gluttony", so very disappointed my brother left with his parents, but after one month they come back to the same restaurant and the first thing my brother says is "mom i want gluttony, i want gluttony".

Answer 4

Whats yellow and flie's over the dessert ......
a swarm of custurd...

ha ha haha.. not

Answer 5

THERE'S THIS FAT GUY READING THE NEWSPAPER. HE SEES AN ADD STATING "LOSE WEIGHT REALLY FAST 1$ A POUND". THE FAT GUY GOES TO THE CLNIC THAT SAME DAY. HE SAYS I'LL TRY LOSING 20 LBS. THE MAN AT THE COUNTER SAYS "20 $ PLEASE. GO TO ROOM NUMBER 1 AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES, THEN TURN OFF THE LIGHTS." THE FAT GUY GOES TO ROOM NUMBER ONE AND TAKES OFF HIS CLOTHES AND TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE LIGHTS GO ON AND A REALLY HOT NAKED CHICK APPEARS. SHE SAYS TO HIM "YOU WANT ME? CATCH ME AND YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH ME." THE FAT GUY HASN'T SEE PUNANY IN YEARS (IF EVER) SO HE'S ALL EXCITED AND RUNS, AND RUNS, AND RUNS, UNTIL FINALY HE CATCHES HER. HE DOES HER AND THEN WEIGHS HIMSELF. 20 LBS LESS!!! WOW!

THE NEXT DAY THE GUY SAYS TO HIMSELF "SELF, TODAY I'LL LOSE 40 LBS!" SO HE GOES TO THE CLINIC AND ASKS FOR THE 40 LBS TREATMENT. THE GUY TELLS HIM TO GO TO ROOM NUMBER 2 AND TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES AND TURN OFF THE LIGHTS. THE FAT DUDE GETS NAKED AND TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS. THE LIGHT GOES BACK ON AND TWO NAKED CHICKS ARE NOW STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM!!! THEY SAY TO HIM "YOU WANT US? CATCH US AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!" HE RUNS, AND RUNS, AND RUNS, AND FINALY CATCHES THEM. SO HE WEIGHS HIMSELF, 40LBS LESS!!!

THE NEXT DAY HE SAYS TO HIMSELF "SELF, I'M GONNA GO FOR THE BIG FISH. 80 POUNDS!" SO HE GOES TO THE CLINIC AND TELLS THE GUY "I WANT TO LOSE 80 POUNDS." THE GUY REPLIES " ARE YOU SURE CAUSE THIS IS VERY DANGEROUS AND YOU COULD ET HURT!" THE FAT GUY GRINS AND SAYS "I'M SURE". THE GUY AT THE COUNTER SAYS " CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU! GO TO ROOM THREE AND YOU KNOW THE DRILL!" THE FAT GUY GOES TO ROOM 3 ALL EXCITED AND STRIPS DOWN TO HIS BRITHDAY SUIT. TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS ... THEN THE LIGHTS GO ON AND A THIS HUGE BLACK GUY WITH A 12 INCH DICK SAYS TO HIM "YOU BETTER RUN B I T C H!"

Answer 6

No only heart breaking ones.....If you want to hear them?

Answer 7

http://www.funs.co.uk/fs/main.htm
http://www.short-funny-stories.com/

chk these.