So... I finally told my man that after 3 years, I'm getting tired of just being his girlfriend? He said that

Question

I would get a ring in a year or two. I asked him why so long and he said because my attitude is bad and I turn into a maniac when I get mad. I do turn into to a maniac when I get mad but no bad attitude. I told him I absolutely will not wait two years (as I am 27 1/2 now and have already started my career). He said, "fine, you can't make a man get married before he's ready". Should I leave now? Should I give him 6 months or 3 or....?

Answer 1

leave his ***.... 3 years is well enough time to determine if you wanna be with someone for a long time. If anything...once you are gone...he will realize how important you are to him.

Answer 2

You already asked this question..so i will earn another 2 points and copy and paste..


How can you admit you turn into a maniac when you are mad, but not have a bad attitude? What maniac has a good attitude? Maybe you should work on some personal issues and try not to bug him about it all the time..



P.S. I looked at your history of questions.. Why do you ask your questions 2-3 times in a row?

Answer 3

This is tough, I feel for ya, I really do. As a woman in my mid 20's I know what you are going through. At the same time however, I have a boyfriend whom I have discussed this very topic with, and I must admit he has some good points.

For starters, Do you want to be with a man you have to force to marry you?? That is a huge question in my mind, he said he would marry you in a year or two, if you cannot wait that long and he is unwilling to budge on that timeline, then do you really want him to only be with you because you forced him to? There could be so many reasons he says he wants to wait, beyond the reasons he told you, and you must also consider the fact that in 1 or 2 years (if you chose to wait) he may push it back further or you guys may break up before he feels ready any how. It is something to consider.

With 3 years already invested in this relationship, it is tough to know which way to go. If you really love this man, then you BOTH should sit down and discuss this fully. This discussion should focus on what it is about you that he wants to see change before he marries you (make sure you get an understanding on how exactly your attitude is bad ect.)...obviously he still loves you for these faults, or else you would be broken up by now, but maybe he just isn't sure you can be his life partner with your bad temper. Also this should be a time for you to make your case to him, explain why it is important to you to get married sooner. Could you compromise and get engaged now? Then marry next year or in a year and a half??? If he isnt willing to sit down and try to work our these differences, he may just not want to be married to you, painful to think about, but much easier to deal with now while you are his girlfriend rather than his wife. Good luck with this, I hope whatever happens it is for the best.

Answer 4

Well hes right!!! You cant make someone marry you if they are not ready. I think of it this way, better that he tells you now than wait untill you guys get married and then your marriage doesnt last because of this. You need to show him that you are a mature adult. By you acting like a maniac your not making things better because hes holding off the whole marriage thing longer because your scaring him away. And you shouldnt threaten him that your leaving if he doesnt give you a ring. Thats a mean thing to say. You will get it when the both of you are ready. Dont rush anything, usually things that are rushed dont last anyways!

Answer 5

genuinely he's ideal. I study plenty about that how adult males would %. particular ladies to marry and not in any respect others. is only a count number of timing. For a guy once he's able to relax down and characteristic a relatives he would %. the girl he's courting at that second. in spite of in the journey that they werre courting for below 5 months. Sounds weird and wonderful and stupid yet is authentic. So if he's not waiting and also you at the prompt are not round for yet another 2 years he would merely marry the girl he will be having a relationship in 2008 or maybe 2009. And the added you push him the added he would sidestep the topic the problem etc. he's genuinely no longer waiting no longer something extra no longer something a lot less. i desire my suggestion helps somewhat : )

Answer 6

I read a really good e book called how to catch him and keep him. you should read it. It helped me loads!!! What he is saying is truely how he feels. Instead of forcing the issue, read up and go through a change of perspective and then approach him again, I know you will get good results.

I read what other people have written and its not good advice, yes he is being difficult, but it is simply put down to you putting your emotions on him and men are most definately not mentally equiped to deal with emotions.

It doesnt work like that. Dont leave him, seriously, make the change and then try again in a different approach...

If it still isnt different after a month or so, then start prepairing yourself to move on. If it is going to be hard to leave, stay a while longer while you prepair yourself mentally to leave.

Trust me on the e book, I have a copy and can email that to you if you wish. :)

Jo

Answer 7

Well if you put this aside, do you enjoy being with him?? Do you think he will react well when you do turn into a maniac when you're mad. Maybe hes waiting for you to change that way of you when you get mad then propose to you.

Answer 8

Honey, I am so sorry, but if he is saying a year or two, I think it's time to leave.

I have met several women who are in their second or third year of engagement, and I finally asked my husband about it. He was quite a ladies' man before we got married, so I know he has a pretty good idea of what goes on in other men's heads. He told me that men know within 6-12 months of starting to date a woman if they intend to make a lifelong committment her or not. Sometimes there are things that keep them from actually giving a ring and getting engaged, such as wanting to finish graduate school, or wanting to finish their stint in the military, but if that is the case, a man will make his intentions quite clear so that the woman doesn't leave. I asked him about people who date for a long time, with no ring forthcoming. He told me it's the same in that case; the man already knows his intentions. A man who knows his woman wants to get married and keeps putting it off or makes excuses doesn't really intend to get married; he's just trying to keep things comfortable and put off the breakup as long as he can.

Some couples decide they don't want to marry at all, but their committment to one another is the same as that of married people, and they have stated their intention to stay together for the long term to one another. We know several couples that were in that situation, and there was no question on the part of either of them that they intended to be together for the rest of their lives. Eventually, they realized that since they were married in everything but name, they might as well go ahead and legalize it, as there are some definite benefits to getting the license.

It sounds like your man knows very well that you would like to get married, as you have made that clear to him. The fact that he didn't immediately say, "Okay, baby, let's set a date," after you have been together for so long makes me think that he doesn't plan to marry you. Also, the vague time frame of "a year or two", after you change your behavior, sounds kind of like a carrot on a stick to me. What happens in two years? Then it will be some other excuse.

I know this is painful and hard to hear, but I think you should leave. He says he isn't ready to be married. Well, there are plenty of good men out there who are ready to make a committment. You aren't going to meet one if you stay and wait for this one to make up his mind. Pack your bags, and move on to a man who will not give you excuses, but will instead make a committment to you so you can start building your lives together.

Answer 9

He is having second thoughts cos you turn into a maniac when you get mad. Either you change or you won't find any good men.

Answer 10

I think that if you truely love him you will wait until he is ready. And if he truely loves you, then he will put aside the fact that you are a maniac. But then again, im only 13. so you can either take my advice, or forget it.

Answer 11

if you want him to marry you, you have to change the maniac thing. or you have to leave him, because he had make him very clear, he had an issue with the maniac thing, O.K? find out why you act like that sometimes, maybe you have PMS, that can be cured, talk to your doctor. good luck.