Is this a lack of respect?

Question

For 3 years Ive been dating a man whos 37, I'm 23 (yes, I know BIG difference) but before this could move ahead to marriage, theres something sort of bothering me. He cant keep his hands off of me alot of the time. I mean for instance if I'm laying on his loveseat, he'll come over & lay with me (which I dont mind) but then he always tries to take it farther, he'll start going up my shirt, grabbing my chest, trying to unbutton my pants, etc. I get really sick of this constant behavior. When I get annoyed & tell him so, he says "I cant help it, I have a young sexy girlfriend", but then minutes later returns to the same behavior. He's not lacking in the sex department, we do it about 4 times a week. Im not a prude but Im sick of being treated like a piece of a**, I have much more to offer. So my question is, is he a typical man or does he not respect me? Thank you for your input, I dont want to wind up with someone just on the basis of sex!

Avalon, yes he has been in & out of relationships his whole life. He was engaged once, they stayed 2gether around 5 years, till he messed that up...
Lothario, I dont mind affection, I dont like feeling sexually harassed! If that makes me selfish, tough!!

Answer 1

You sound very mature for a 23 year old.....my thoughts on this are, that after 3 years together, that rampant lust should have subsided a wee bit and more important aspects of your relationship be at the forefront.

It is nice that your guy thinks you're so sexy, but I realise that this would wear thin after a while.

I hope your relationship ends up the way you want it to be.

PS. When I need an answer I always rely on my gut feeling - it never lets me down

Answer 2

Well as long as he spends time with you when you are not doing it I wouldnt call it a lack of respect... I think its kinda nice that he CANT keep his hands off ya I would be rather worried if he didnt touch ya... Its a wonder at his age that he is still this randy... not to be funny or anything but usually a mans sexual desire starts to go down some in the mid 30s sounds like you just turn him on totally and completely! Have you talked to him about this and told him that it makes you uncomfortable? I mean really sat him down and talked to him and told him look I cant handle it you make me feel like a piece of meat and if you dont start treating me like I have a brain I dont know if I can stay with you... Sounds like hes a healthy man and is very attracted to you so if you can stand it you may just want to soak up all the attention he gives ya regardless of what kind it is...

Answer 3

Yes, I think for the most part he is a typical man. The disrespect issue stems from being a man. Granted there are (so they say) few men whom do not act in this manner. Men were built to think this way. Women were not, that is why relationships are so tough. Plus the young gf probably does turn him on incredibly.
My bf has disrespected me in sexual ways as well. So eventually I stopped wanted it period. He'd only get it if I was too tired to fight it. Well that back fired cause that killed my mans ego and made him feel less of a man. That is the other problem with men, they refuse to listen to there mate, even if she starts out with saying "this is exactly what I want...."

Answer 4

He's a 37 year old guy with a 23 year old girl - why would you think he's with you for any other reason than sex?

Do you really think you're on the same experience level as him? He's got 14 years on you...it would be like you dating a 9 year old. It's stupid. You get off thinking a 37 year old guy means you're mature (nope, just means your easy to dupe)...and he gets off being with a young perky girl instead of older ladies with wrinkles.

Know the situation, and make a decision. Break up and find someone your own age you can have a healthy relationship with and experience life together.....OR stick with Jerry Lee Lewis and stop complaining he only wants you for sex.

Answer 5

I understand your problem, my husband still acts like that on occasion. But he used to be real bad about it. And his reply was the same, "He couldn't help himself" Finally I told him that it was a real turn off that he couldn't just relax with me instead of feel me up every chance he got. I told him that it annoyed me and explained to him "What if I did something to him constantly that annoyed him" Then I actually would find things that did annoy him and give him a little pay back. When he would say stop or something like that I would say "Why is it annoying" Of course the answer was yes and then I explained and proved my point.

But he still does it sometimes, but not like it used to be. Men are just walking horn dogs and sometimes need told NO.

Answer 6

Many women would kill for that type of attentin from their husband. I think you should leave him and let him find a woman that actually deserves him, because you sure don't. And then down the road you get married to someone else but he doesn't give you much attention you will wish you stayed with this 37 year old guy. Could you be anymore pathetically selfish?

Answer 7

Does he also talk with you, do things you enjoy together (other than sex) without always manhandling you? Does this only occur when you are alone and the opportunity is available? He needs to realize that you enjoy just sitting and being close without it always leading to sex. Hopefully, he won't have hurt feelings and relate this to you not wanting him....but I feel it is important that you not feel like a sex object. He needs to hear you or you will end up probably resenting him.

Answer 8

naturally guys have the urge to touch and feel a woman. so he cant really help it. but if he's into this relationship just for the sex. id say blow him off before he ends up hurting you. if he really respected you, a real man wouldnt have sex with you til marrage in order to protect you from things like STDs.

Answer 9

It sounds like to me that you might be the trophy girlfriend and that in his mind it might be more lust than love. If this annoys you now and he doesn't show any respect for your feelings, then you can bet your feelings will be tromped on if you marry him because then he will think he owns you and your body to be used as he sees fit. No, it doesn't sound to me like he respects you! Please rethink your relationship with him before considering marriage.

Answer 10

yea his treating you like a piece of ***. If it makes you feel like a sex object.. get out of that relationship..You deserve someone better.Someone that will want to hug you just to be near you..you are to good for him.. leave his perverted a**.