Married to hubby that won't have sex but 1-2 times a MONTH......I'm 31 he's 39?

Question

I am a woman who loves sex and doing things in the bedroom with my mate to make things interesting. I am going crazy trying to figure him out. I think I am an attractive woman because men do hit on me but my husband makes me feel unattractive. When we do have sex it is just the same way and last's 3-4 min. MAX!!!! I have asked him to tell me thing's that he would like for me to do but he is not into sex like that he said......OMG.....I love him very much or I would have probley gone astray by now PLEASE HELP????

Answer 1

Oh my, its so nice to know that someone has the same problem I do. I am 25 he is 33. Its brought me to tears I dont know how many nights. Its not about sex and getting off its about intimacy and feeling like your husband wants you. I confront it directly and things are improving. First of all it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Its not YOUR problem and there is nothing YOU can do to fix it. You can try fixing your hair different, wearing perfume, seducing him, and I am sure you have tried all these before but it wont work because its not your fault.

For him its not an issue of not being able to get an erection, for him its desire and that does NOT mean you are not desirable. With all these "magic pills" lately it sounds like an easy fix to give him viagra. Viagra is for men that WANT to get an erection but can't, those medications have nothing to do with desire. He is probably under lots of stress, and when you get upset about your lack of sex life its probably stresses him out even more. Has his appearance changed? How is his career going? What are your finances like? All of these things can reek havack on a marriage and a man's sex drive. Ask him if anything is bothering him lately and talk about the issues. Do not sweep it under the rug. I tell my husband that it hurts when he physically rejects me and I wish he could just tell me what to do about it. I came to the realization there isnt anything I can do, but I can be supportive when he is stressed out and I can always talk to him about how he makes me feel and he listens. Give your husband the same chance. Then go talk to a doctor and sex therapist for couples, do a search for psychologist in your local yellow pages. I talk to my husband about what ever problems we have and tell him exactly with out sugra coating how it makes me feel. We have had several arguments about Sex and what amazes me is how little people value the importance of a happy sexual relationhsip in a marriage. I hope this helps, good luck to you and your husband and know that you are not alone.

Answer 2

Well i hate to tell you this usually if a guy doesnt wana be intimate that can mean two things and none of these mean any good. Either hes having an affair or he doesnt find you attracted anymore which will make him go out and cheat. Why not just ask him?? Ok, so lets just say he is cheating, the signs are all there. He doesnt last long in bed, i thought that when I guy hasent had sex in a long time they last longer in bed. And you just said that you and your husband only have sex 1-2 a month. Theres something wrong with that picture.

Answer 3

There might be a problem with his childhood yrs that has not been forgotten or porn could be the culprit or bad feelings about women that may have cheated on him in the past but there is alot your not saying like what kind of life you two are having, do you flirt, how do you dress yourself, how long have you two been together, women dont know it but even some men even go thru a stage in thier life like some older women do with PMS but with men its a change of life, Its hard to say, Just give it some time with out the nagging or complaining it might just blow over, or try get him excited while he's sleeping then go to town on him, I think waking up with a hard on and getting a little first thing in the morning might do the trick, its hard to say in your case because you say your 31 maybe your too active for him, but you dont need to go astray & make things worst, just give it some time and it will pass and keep on loving him with out being overbearing you will see...Good luck to both of you

Answer 4

the older men get the less they want it. as he's about to hit the 40 many men go into a midlife crisis. he could be bi and you don't know about it. he could be getting some on the side and you don't know. at 48 myself, i've never found a woman who would go more than a few times a week. sometimes job stress or something that is bothing him makes them lose interest. research has shown that men peak at 19 and women at 35. it has recently showed that most men at the age of 40 that more than 50 percent have problems performing and lose interest. try and talk with him as it will be a touchy subject. if you make him feel like its all his fault or anything like that, it will be less than that a month. its something you both need to talk about. if he won't talk or even go to a counsler. it could be not you but he is having extra helpings.

Answer 5

it should be quite some issues quite. One, he's embarassed about his ingredient length and that is discouraging him from having sex. 2, he doesn't pick to get you pregnant back so he takes area in the abstinence card. 3, he's gay (it truly is only a shaggy dog tale to lighten the amotsphere somewhat lol). so the authentic 3, he should be depressed, you stated you've a healthful relationship outdoors of sex, yet perchance some thing is bothering him, including his kin outdoors the living house, w/ a chum, some thing, so that you'll pick to search for suggestion from from him about his existence and see if each and everything is fantastic. ultimately, perchance he purely doesn't like sex...i understand it is strange pondering he's a guy and ninety 9.9% of fellows imagine about sex each and every 5 seconds (it truly is technological information actual), in spite of the indisputable fact that it truly is plausible for a guy to care better about different issues than sex.

Answer 6

me and my husband are almost of same age as u both, 39 is not too old. We have s.e.x almost every other day but he tells me that darling i m too tired today is it ok with u if i sleep now. ofcourse how can i force him when he is
telling me the truth. May be ur husband is depressed or taking some heavy medication. U r supposed to have holiday somewhere away from ur house. Show him u care for him a lot and will not survive without him, show him how important he is for u, cook something that he likes the most. tell him u love him.

Answer 7

Get involved with a therapist, and if he does not want to go then you need to go alone and get some good advice... Your husband needs to learn it is not all about him and it is his responsibility to satify you also... Was it this way in the beginning? If he was a minute man in the beginning to then you got what you have. I am a counselor and if you wish to ask me more questions I will, OK...
Rick

Answer 8

You are really very nice to try so many things out but he perhaps is not interested. May be he has been put off due to any reason, physical or psychological.
Keep trying and try to get some counselling for him or else you would be frustrated and it may lead to your chances of goint out and finding someone else.

Answer 9

OMG! I just left a relationship with a 37 year old man that was exactly like that, only we would go months without sex...I couldn't take it, I tried everything, suggesting counseling, buying adult movies and toys, dressing sexy, and nothing, was rejected every time. I finally left.

Answer 10

This is going to sound odd here but my suggestion to you is play with yourself and have him walk in on you, and If that doesn't get his attention. then sweetheart...sleep in the nude. If that doesn't do it. Ask him for a back massage and moan in a sexual way. IF THAT DOESN'T DO IT...I"m sorry he's not interested anymore. I hope thats not the case though...Hope it works out for you.