Why should we feel sorry for these teens who get pregnant or get teen girls pregnant?

Question

I have been reading about these teens getting pregnant or getting a girl pregnant. My question to you is why should we feel sorry for them?? They made their bed, now they have to lie in it. They should know what they are getting into. If they want to have sex they need to grow up. End of question end of story.

Teens: It is time to stop and smell the coffee. If you choose to have sex at your age, you need to grow up here and now! Everytime you have sex you have the chance of getting pregnant, even with birth control. Nothing is 100% except not having sex. And if you are having sex so that you are well " liked" than that is just stuiped. God Forbid you should just be your self at your age.
Having sex is an adult act. If you choose to have it, then grow up and be an adult about it. If you get pregnant, tell your parents and step to the plate. Get a job, move out and grow up and take care of your kid. Or even better give it up so that it can have a better life.

I am a mom to a 3 year old son and one due in Dec. They will know as soon as they understand that sex is something that married people do only. If they choose to have sex and get someone pregnant or get pregnant, they will have to get a job, apt. and take care of the baby with out a cent from us. And they will not be allowed to live in our house. They chose to do an adult act now they have to grow up an be an adult.

sex as a "mistake" is very easy to avoid. Just say two little letters "NO"! It is that easy!

Kids start taking sex ed in 5th grade. Where was there brains when they were taking those classes???

And yes where are the parents? I am guessing that they are more concerned about their boyfriends/girlfriends then their kids. Make me so glad that my parents have a healthy and happy marriage.

Answer 1

I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.
THEY MADE THEIR MISTAKE AND NOW THEY WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT. DUMB BASTARDS COULD AT LEAST USE CONDOMS.

Answer 2

I think you've already made up your mind on this issue. But from my point of view, it's not about feeling sorry for these teens. It's more about asking ourselves what supports and protective factors were missing from these kids lives that made them get into that situation to begin with. You're right that many teens have sex to be liked, to fit in, to feel loved, or to feel more adult. But as a society we do a terrible job of letting kids know when they are adults. We're full of inconsistencies about when they can take on adult responsibilities and when we recognize them as adults (e.g., drive between 14-16, smoke, go into armed forces, and/or move out of the house at 18, but can't drink until 21). There are a variety of factors that contribute to the current teen pregnancy pandemic we have in the US. While I recognize that youth need to take responsibility, simply blaming the youth themselves will not solve this problem.

Answer 3

ok i just wanna add my 2 cents in here .. not all teenagers who get preg or get some one preg want you to feel sorry for them .. and for those of you who view a baby as a mistake u shouldnt have them no baby is ever a mistake .. a suprise maybe but NEVER a mistake .mistakes are something u would go back in time and change if you could .. and you can not say how u will react to something such as teen pregnancy until u have been in the spot .
just remember no baby asks to be born and it doesnt ask to have parents that are still babys . some times full grown adults do a worse job raising babys then young ppl do

Answer 4

You cannot just expect that every teen has been given the knowledge that you are going to give your children. My parents never talked to me about sex and i was active at a very young age. Thankfully I did not get pregant until I was 18 years old and I am now having my second child. at the age of 20. My mother never told me the ups and downs about children, when I told her I had sex and was scared that I might have be pregnant she took me to the doctor, got me on birth control and bought me a box of condoms. Never once did she talk to me about babies or the reason one should have sex. Sad to say though, that these kids are forced to grow up because now a days they do not have parents who give damn about what they do just as long as they are out of the house. You cannot blame the child for not knowing an better, but the adult who was suppose to teach them. If a child is havign sex at a young age, then where the hell was the parent. If the parent couldn't teach their children morals and values about themselves and their bodies, the parents should not have had the child in the first place. What are you going to do when your son comes home and says mommy I got her pregnant because I did what you told me not to? Are you going ot kick him out or blame the girl who was trying to fill in the void where her parents were not?

Answer 5

What I feel the worst about is they obviously do not have parents they feel they can turn too. They feel so alone they turn to strangers on Yahoo answers! I have a 15 year old son and we r very close and we talk about everything together! he has had me blushing and speechless a few times!!! BUT he can always come to me with anything and he KNOWS that! Now my mother growing up- NOPE she was not the kind of mom u went to with any problem at all!!! So I know how it feels to not have a parent you can turn too and I think its how alot of them feel. ASlso they are mistaking sex for love and affection. The want to be loved soooo badly they make themselves believe the guy loves them and worships them. This again- parents- every kid- and teen needs to know they are loved. Every kid and teen needs to know their feelings are very important to you- build a trusting relationship with them- keep communication open and believe me it makes a huge difference!

Answer 6

I agree with you totally. I have to sisters that got preg at an early age. Of course now we are in our 20's and my parents still make comments about my poor pitiful sister that struggle everyday. It makes me so mad. They get help all the time and they make me feel guilty because i have a wonderful life. Husband and 2 kids. I just do not understand it either. I can not help the decisions they made. I can not help it i have a good life and i will not be made to feel guilty for it. They should have been more responsible. If everyone would quit helping all these kids having babies, maybe things would change.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

My VERY good friend is (Technically) a teen mother. She gave birth to her gorgeous son Cayden when she was 19.

I did not support her having sex in the first place (If you're going to take a risk, use birth control AND a condom with Spermacide And/or foam), but it was her choice. Luckily the father was around (For a while, that is), and I have supported her 110%.


They may have made a mistake, but many choose to live with it, carry the baby to term, and love it like no other.

Mistakes are made, but people do need to be forgiven and supported. Cayden is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen, and I treasure him like my own son. I support my friend greatly, and if she needs me, she comes to me.

Answer 9

I became a mother at the age of seventeen. I did take precautions to prevent pregnancy though abstinence was obviously not one of them.

Though unplanned, I would never consider my son a mistake nor would I ever ask for someone's pity. What for? I decided not to end a life by having an abortion and I decided to prevent a life of possible child abuse and neglect for my child by not giving him up for adoption.

I am perfectly happy with my life and pleased with the decisions I've made. I have never been on welfare, I have never had to neglect my son and work all day and all night to make ends meet. My son and I are never left wanting.

At the age of twenty, I OWN my house and OWN my car. With the help of my partner, I run a lucrative contracting business. I have never borrowed money from my family or my friends or taken advantage of them to watch my son. He has two parents that love him, invest in him, and are committed to each other. He is bright, secure and bursting with self-esteem.

I am fortunate to be young and have the energy to be with my son and enjoy him, take him to tumbling classes, endure the infant night waking and still go to work, etc. I am fortunate that my son will be twenty when I reach my mid-thirties. The time when many are starting a family I will be finished! I am fortunate that I will be a young grandmother and have the energy to play with my son's children. There are too many things for me to list!

I do appreciate that my situation is quite rare. There are many young people that are irresponsible and producing children for the sake of collecting welfare. In situations such as those it is the children and not the parents that should be sympathized. With that said, there are also many young people that although may not be as fortunate as I, are owning up to their responsibilities and are working hard to create a life for their children and do so without asking a thing from anyone.

For the original poster, I would stop concerning myself with the workings of other people's lives and start working to improve your own. A good place to start may be your spelling and grammar, yours is atrocious.

Answer 10

I don't think they are asking us to feel sorry, but for help. There are 100's of reasons for teen preg. besides the way you feel that they are just out screwing around. Most of these girls don't recieve the nurturing and unconditional love, they HAVE to have, from their father. While he may be in the home physically, he isn't involved or aware of the responsibility he has with his daughter."Girls get their self-esteem from their fathers" and the ability to talk and have fun with a male without having a sexual relationship. If the father isn't around, the mom needs to make sure that there is a responsible caring relative or friend that can fill some of this father-role on a routine basis.If the father's love is missing, the girl will look for it, unconciously, among boys, chatrooms, male teachers, older men,etc. It is a basic need that needs fulfilling for her to be whole. With a big hole inside her , she will accept what closeness she can even if comes in the form of sex. Of course she still feel empty and sometimes dirty and foolish, especially if it was a one-night stand. She will probably continue this course of looking from guy to guy until she is bitter and hurt so badly that a real loving relationship is impossible. That hole will not be filled unless she is lucky enough to find a good man in her quest or goes to therapy or finds it in herself to figure it out and then change it.This isn't to say dads are bad, just uninformed or raising kids like he was raised. He doesn't take it under consideration that a "she" may need different things than a "he". It is also easier for dads and sons to relate and do guy things together. Girls can do the same things and be grateful for the opportunity.Building the bond between dad and daughter is necessary and needs to begin at birth or as soon as he learns that his daughter needs it. I haven't mentioned peer pressure, bf pressure, or curiosity because these all come from her inability to say no or to see that this is just lust and not love and this all comes from her lack of the bonding with her father. There is also rape, date rape, drunk rape, gang rape,drugs slipped into her drink rape, and non perfect birth control.She can be using it correctly and still get preg. Teens also think it won't happen to them. Teens die everyday because of speeding, drugs,stupid stunts, etc because it just won't happen to them, only to a stranger.Their brains are not fully developed and decision making is one place that will be developed at about 18-20 and then it takes life experience to be able to make mature choices. Moms are responsible also and need to keep communication open, make sure of the kids friends, bfs. and that kids know what is expected of them at each age, and where they are at all times. Both parents, good friends, teachers, and the whole village can make a difference IF they open their eyes and
STOP thinking of themselves and get BUSY working with our youth building them UP instead of ignoring them or putting them down. You have heard the old saying that the loudest barking dog gets the attention, even if is negative. The same goes for a child who needs love and attention.

Answer 11

Unfortunately, not all teens have that much kind of awareness about sex. By the way, you spoke of teen pregnancies generally. Ever heard of raped girls? Also, as a parent you should always love your sons no matter what. A mother bird pushes her child so it can fly, but it will still support the chick if it falls.