I told my parents....now what?

Question

Yesturday I told you I was pregnant, and I'm 17, and I asked for some advice, well I told my parents. What I didn't tell you was that my boyfriend is 25, that was the bad part, my parents didn't even know I was dating him. Now they are going to press charges on him, and I'm allready stressed out enough....I called him and told him what they are going to do, and he won't even talk to me..and my parents are disgusted...I have no one cept for this baby growing inside of me, please help me! I don't know what to do other than sit and cry like I've been doing all day...

Answer 1

You need to think about your baby and take care of yourself. You need to explain to your parents it is not just the guys fault and it would not be fair to press charges on him. I do not think they can. It depends on what state you live in. I know in Ga age of consent is 16. Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Number one dont let it get to you...stressing yourself out while your pregnant is the worst thing for your baby...I know your only 17 but seem to really care about the health of the baby so Im sure that you dont want to be putting stress on the baby. Ive noticed that some people have said that he needs to have charges pressed againist him and its rape...but honestly I dont know if there is much your parents can do. It depends on the state you live in....In GA you become consider an adult at 17 and can choose to get married....so you may have nothing to worry about with the whole pressing charges thing. You just told your parents today so give them some time to adjust and cool down...they love you and Im sure they are just angry as of now and maybe a little disappointed....but you are there little girl (it doesnt matter if you have other sister or if you 80 years old...if your parents are around you are still there little girl). I think you should just try to take things as they come and relax, everything will turn out ok...Im sure your boyfriend is a little upset to he probably doesnt want to go to jail or be in jail while his child is born. Hopefully wants your parents calm down you can express how important it is for the father to be around and that he wants to be around. Anyway I hope Ive helped a little bit, sorry its been such a hard day on you. Remember one day at a time.

Answer 3

Well, to be honest there is not much that you can do except for talking to your parents more about this and trying to not get them to press charges on him. Honestly, I don't think that your age difference is that bad. If you were younger then there would be a problem. Because what good would he be to you if he was in jail? He would not be able to take care of you and your baby like that. I am sure he is just nervous and upset right now scared that he is going to get arrested. But just take a deep breath and just calm down; getting stressed out will not help your baby. Just keep talking to your parents and everything will turn out okay.

Answer 4

I think that you and your parents should talk to a counsleor or someone that can be a mediator and not take sides. How your parents feel is understandable but their first concern should be about you, your health and rather or not your going to keep the baby. It is hard being so young and going through something that your not mentally, or emotionally built for. I think you should give your parents time to calm down and try to talk to them about how you feel, and if possible have the baby dad there too so that you all can make out some kind of plan, you are the only one who can decide what your going to do as far as the baby is concerned don't just make a decision because of pressure, sit down and think about your options and what you think is best for you and the baby. It's not going to be easy but it's better to be sure and feel good about what you decide, then to live a life of regrets or what ifs. And abortion is not always the best option... Everybody makes mistakes the only thing that matters is how we choose to deal with them, whatever you decide make sure it's what you want.

Answer 5

you didn't have any other choice but to tell your parents. They were going to find out eventually anyway. The sooner the better. They WILL get over it. They will love that baby just like any normal grandparents would. How far are you from turning 18? In some states, that matters as far as statutory rape goes. I know a few people that have been convicted of that and they are good people and their life goes on as normal. I wouldn't freak out too much. He'll come around and hopefully by the time your parents actually go to court and go through with everything they need to, they will have accepted the facts and decide not to press charges. Your boyfriend just needs to show them that he will follow through with his responsibilities. You'll be just fine.

Oh, and as far as abortion, please don't. If you don't think you can provide for the baby, the are LOTS of families looking to adopt.

Answer 6

Give your parents some time. My parents kicked me and my sister both out when they first found out we were pregnant. It takes a while to get over the shock. You will sit and cry a lot - you are pregnant. Also, you are only 17. Look online for the age of consent in your state. I believe most states it is 16. Charges might not be able to be filed. Anyway, let your parents be your parents. You will need them more than ever now!!

Answer 7

Hi there,

I am so sorry you are in such a tough situation. I know you are very upset (and it is okay to cry) and feeling scared, but please try to think of the most important person in this entire situation.......your unborn baby.

The situation with your parents/boyfriend will work its way out eventually (try not to stress too much about it....I know it's hard) but in the meantime you have a little life growing inside you that you have to focus on. The main question here is what are you going to do with this baby?

I believe in only two options: raise the baby yourself or give the baby up for adoption. Think about this very, very hard because it is the most important question. Please think about what would be best for the baby, not for you, but for the baby.

If you believe you are able to handle the huge responsibility of raising a child and your parents are willing to support you AND help you raise the child (e.i. let you live with them, pay for you and baby, etc.) then I think you should keep the baby. The reason I say your parents must be willing to help you AND support you is because parenting is so very difficult at times. It can be physically, emotionally, and financially draining (all at the same time) and you will need the total support of your mom and dad to help you. The goal is to provide a loving, supportive, safe home with positive male/female role models for your baby, where the needs of the baby are of primary importance.

If you believe you might not be capable of providing this type of environment, then please, please consider putting your baby up for adoption. There are so many good, married couples out there that are unable to have children that would give ANYTHING to have a baby. Your baby would then have the opportunity to be raised by a mature husband/wife who are fully capable of providing for all the needs of a little baby. You could arrange to have whatever type of continued contact you felt comfortable with. But the most important part is that you would be giving your baby the chance at the best life possible.

Please don't have an abortion. Please think about the opportunity you now have to bring a new life into the world, whether for you to raise or for an adoptive family to raise. The decision you make now will change the course of two lives forever....yours and your baby's. Please, put your own needs and desires aside...... and do what is best for the baby.

God bless you, and good luck.

Answer 8

it seems hard now but dont stress i no its easier said than done but its not good for u or the BABY eventually ur parents will come around give a lil time i mean come on they just found out there baby is having a baby by an older man. as far as ur b/f goes he should be by ur side even though he could be in alot of trouble b/c u r a minor just hang in there & think about ur options.. good luck sweetie

Answer 9

dont stress too bad,
please dont get an abortion...you think your stressed now...how about the rest of your life regreting a decision like that? i was stressed when i was 15 got pregnant by a 25 year old...when i told him i was pregnant, he said he couldnt have kids! a dna test proved him a liar...i am married and expecting my 4th daughter, life is hard for everyone in one way or another, but i can say i'm happy in most resprcts, and i love my kids, they get me up out of bed in the mornings, i dont know who id be without them. you are old enough to care for this child, but your bf doesnt sound like a guy that would stand by you...my husband is not my oldest daughters dad, but he has raised her like his own since she was a week old...you never know who or what will happen down the road...


good luck, please make mature decisions...you are able, and strong, you are one of many girls with this problem, be smart...let this make you a better, stronger person, we grow into adults when we live our consequences.

raising a child so young is hard, but i do NOT, have NOT EVER regreted my decision to keep her...


i wish you luck...pleaseIM me if you feel the need to chat...

Answer 10

This is not the right forum for seeking support! That is my first bit of advise. You need to start thinking like and adult, because you are now completely responsible for another being.
You need to figure out what your support options are, do you belong to a church? do you have close relatives? close friends? do you know how to look in a phone book or use the Internet...this would be a great place to find resources for teen mothers/mothers-to-be and pregnancy options...search for these. Make a list of your support people and options, and start figuring out what is next. Assume, (whether you want to or not) that "dad" is not going to be in this child's life...now what? This is a good time to look at what you want for your future, what you want for your child's future.
You need to be seeking advise from people your trust and love...not from total strangers (some of us aren't nice)
Good Luck!! I wish you and this baby the very best