So my boyfriends mom caught us fooling around..?

Question

I was camping with my boyfriend, and his mother caught us fooling around. Not having sex. She made a rude comment to me, and we havent gotten along since. My mother caught us having sex and doesnt have a problems with him. I have tried to talk to his mother about it and I have tried everything to make things right between us, but she doesnt want her son to have anything to do with me. Any suggestions?

I honestly dont think that is important, but I am 16 and my boyfriend is 17. I am very careful and I am on birth control and he uses protection every time. If you are going to critisize me the dont answer!!! I posted this on the teens page so that i didnt get any smart reactions from old people that obviously never lived their lives to the fullest!!

Haha you people sound like those 45 year old moms who are oblivious to everything you kids do. I am proud to have an open relationship with my mom and you should try having that with your kids. It is safer considering my mother took me to do something about me having sex. Unlike your kids who will be too afraid to tell you and YOUR KIDS will be the ones pregnant because of you not listening to what they have to say! So all you mothers who think your kids are angels thing again. high schools have changed since your day. I am one of the oldest in my grade to have lost my viginity. Get in the game and protect your kids before they end up pregnant.

yeah because im just easy?!? I dated him for 2 and a half years before I did anything with him. It was the first time. Some of you people need to ask more questions before you assume that I am little skank!

Answer 1

Thanks for the details :-)

Before I start im 15 so im not some old person who thinks teens are all dumb. So I can sorta relate to you.

I think his Mom is being protective of him. Alot of the time it's the guys that get the blame for the sexual stuff. If teens are having sex and the girl gets pregnant it's almost always the guys fault from the parents and law's point of view (even if he took all precautions) and the girls parents charge him for sexual assult or something. I think his mother is probley concerned about that.

I can understand that you guys want to make love because your in love. It really makes me mad when older adults say it's just a teen thing, or it's not "real" love. Well if you love some one you love them and you want to well ... make love with them!

What I would reccomend is try talking to his mother again, and if that dosen't work write her a letter. Sometimes that's even better and his Mom would understand how serious you are. Don't make the letter nasty of course, just tell her how you feel about him and that you don't want her to be mad at you. You could even say your sorry to her, although im sure your not (why would you be?) that's probley what she wants to hear. And then after that you could explain your feelings further.

If nothing works, just remember his mother can never stop you seeing him, or him seeing you. It's illegal for a parent to do that unless of course you harmed him or vice versa.

I also reccomend having sex or making love or kissing or just whatever when absoloutly no one will see you or find out.

Hope this helped :-)

Answer 2

just try to stay cool around her. Dont get pissy with her, or any **** like that. If she smarts off. just smile and ignore it. if you reallly love the guy. it doesnt matter what anyone thinks.

Oh and for the comment about having an open relationship with your mom. Thats very good! dont let any of these fools on here tell you different. I think its great that your mom understands the hormones more then some moms. Hell if My mom would've caught me back then.. Well needless to say I would probably still be grounded... at age 21. haha

So regardless, dont listen to some of these old timers. do what ay feel is right in your heart. and everything should go well

Answer 3

Nothing's probably going to turn her around on this one. But, if you want to keep trying, see if you can get to talk to her alone and tell her that you feel awful, that you had hoped to have a good relationship with her and now you feel you've ruined any chance of that. Tell her you realize what you did was disrepectful of her and inappropriate and you hope that she will give you another chance. Even if she acts cool to it and doesn't seem to forgive you, when you and her son are around her, try to keep some sort of physical distance between you and him. Don't act all touchy feely and so on, because it will unnerve her and make her "re-live" it, and that will just keep the tension on. See if you can do some "family" activities that will put you and her on a "team," like a board game or badminton or something to build a camaraderie between you. Never underestimate the power of a nicely written apology note that a person can read and re-read. It is usually taken as much more sincere, and it gives the person time to reflect on it.

Answer 4

his mom thinks that you are a tramp and not good enough for her son. you had no respect for her when you were fooling around. you couldnt wait? if you are giving everything up now, guys will not respect you. it seems that you have some gulit about what you are doing anyway, because other wise you would not have asked the question and then forbid to be chastised by an "old" person. you know what they say...why the buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? he is just after an easy lay, and i am sure his mom knows, and you are probably not the first girl he has slept with. he will move on to the next easy thing.

Answer 5

OPPS, nope, she's probably just not ready to admit her baby is doing those sorts of things, so the easiest thing for HER to do it blame you, YOU must have talked him into it, pressured him before he was ready etc. Also look at her religious background it could give you a clue why she might not be as accepting as your mom. Also maybe your mom really isn't doing as well with it as you think but she knows making a fuss about it will just cause problems between you two and you're going to have sex anyway, so might as well just accept it! Well, no hints to help your bf's mom deal, in fact I would give her some space, try hanging out more at your house and away from his, tell your bf that his mother's attitude makes you uncomfortable, so he doesn't think you are being snobby and you think you are too good to be over at HIS house, the only thing that MIGHT help is have your boyfriend talk to his mom, maybe HE can straighten things out and find out why she's spazzing. Otherwise like I said give the woman some space, it's like this parents don't want to know about their kids sex lives just as much as we kids don't want to know about their sex lives, yuck! So take that into consideration too!

Answer 6

Why do people assume you're "underage"? There's no law saying you have to be 18 to buy condoms and have sex. There's no such thing as being underage. They have their opinion of you being too young, but theres nothing they can do about it. I've been caught too and I think that the parent just doesn't want to believe that their little baby could do such a thing. My mom and I are very open too. She took me for my birth control. You and I have a lot in common actually.

Answer 7

how old are you and your boyfriend? and you have to look at it from a mothers perspective she might be a little more uptight about sexuality than your mother is, i dont think you should do anything about it have your boyfriend talk to his mom apologize for what she saw but also explain that he isnt a child assuming that hes not hes a man and intimacy is something that happens between two people that care for each other she should understand after all she did bring him into the world

Answer 8

I can understand where she is coming from to some extent especially if it was in her house. Sometimes mothers over react to things at first but, I believe in time she will get over it and realize that life is to short to hold things over people's heads. So, just be as patient as possible.

Answer 9

AAAaawwwwhhhmmmmm. How old are you? She probably liked you and thought a lot about your character.. and now, well she is hurt and pissed obviously. Don't push it. just kinda shrink into the back ground for a while, let her make the first nice/civil attempt at a new friendship.

Answer 10

you guy's are kids. And, Yes I would of been mad as well if my child that young is messing aroung with another child. Thats sick. You are to young to be fooling around with a boy. Keep going to school. And, get good grades.