or would you get divorced in hopes of a happy life? Keep in mind we have tried counseling and everything like that. I am not asking for anyone to say "this is not the question you ask perfect strangers".. I am almost positive on what I am going to do I am just wondering what others would do in this situation!
2006-07-19 17:29:13 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can not trust him as far as I can throw him, as he has proven over and over again and he would rather get his "jollies" off of porn because all you have to do to turn that on is push a button, unlike me.. I take a little more that the push of a button.
2006-07-19 17:35:35 · update #1
Unfortunately, I'm in your situation, however I've been in it for 17 years! I've been faithful, she hasn't. Counseling, my putting her on a pedestal, my putting my foot down, psychiatric care for her, the list goes on. I chose to stay, because the chance of losing the kids was too big a risk, leaving them with a parent whose number one concern was herself was not acceptable to me. I will say this, if you are unable to stay together without fighting and arguing, then perhaps divorce is the lesser of two evils.
2006-07-19 17:35:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on your situation. If you live in a state that favors the mother and children in a divorce, then I would say go for it. You would be much better off financially and mentally if things are really that bad.
If you are very religious, and still want out, if your spouse has cheated on you, that is one way your church will support your divorce, or if he has abused you or the children, or worse, both.
If you are unhappy because you did not get a new dress this month, because finances are tight, then I would say no, stay true to your vows. There are many reasons to divorce, and many to stay.
With children involved, you have to wonder if he will get custody, split custody, or visitation, or nothing at all... are the children his? if not, should he get any visitation rights? If he does get to see the children, can you trust him alone with them, and do you trust any future date to treat the children right?
I would weigh my decision on the best for my kids. I know you will too.
2006-07-19 17:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by jujubeings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the middle of a divorce from a relationship that has been very bad for over four years. I took my vows seriously, and this decision was sooo hard, but I tried EVERYTHING and finally knew what the problem was. No relationship works when only one partner is trying. Remember, you will never be completely rid of him, he is still the father of your children, I try to respect that and never speak ugly of him in front of the kids, but I am much happier, and the kids are less stressed with him out of the house.... good luck to you!
2006-07-19 17:49:00 · answer #3 · answered by prettyme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are asking my personal opinion, I suppose if you truly tried all avenues without a positive outcome then you need to get the divorce. If you wholeheartedly tried counseling and other avenues then you know deep down you did what you needed to do to attempt reconcilliation. It's always a shame when your children are involved but as long as they are not pawns in divorce then they should be better off if you both are happy. Best of luck!!
2006-07-19 17:42:55 · answer #4 · answered by sfs_onfridays 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I am a bit unqualified to make this kind of a judgement call, I would say you're better off trying to stick with this guy and have a rocky couple of years before you decide you REALLY want to divorce him. Many kids (especially if they're young) will have a tough time dealing with divorce. Moreover, you yourself may have financial hardship if you leave this guy and become a single mom of four. Lets hope your tough situation right now is just a small bump in the smooth path of your marriage.... :)
Edit: This guy is a prick for jacking off to porn instead of pleasing you...Maybe one night you should disconnect the computer and spank his as.s...Maybe that will remind him of what it means to be with a woman?
2006-07-19 17:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by Wallstreey$$Maker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day your the only one that can make that decision I was married for 15yrs and all my friends were telling me to leave my ex partner its alright to get advice but you will know when its the right time to move on. I moved on i found another guy my kids are so happy to be around him and i thought to myself i cant force my ex to love me that's being selfish so i let him free and that was the best thing i have ever done. And to think my 9 year old son turned around and said mum i ha vent seen you this happy in a long time.
2006-07-19 18:30:22 · answer #6 · answered by dihannamtie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can give you what they don't need! If he can not give you what you need then get rid of him. You can't make anyone else happy unless your happy. I do not believe in staying with someone just for the kids because it actually hurts them more. They don't get to see there Daddy or Mommy happy. Also your kids are going to grow up and have a family of there own.Then what will you be left with. You need to do whatever makes you happy. You owe it to you and your kids.I know from experience
hope everything works out and good luck!
2006-07-19 17:53:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way...getting a divorce is the best thing I have ever done for my son. we are so much happier now and he has a man in his life now who is more of a father to him than his ever was. It brought us much closer and anyone who says it's best to stay together for the kids is completely wrong. my parents stayed together for my sake and i wished everyday growing up that they would separate and get it over with, rather than everyone being unhappy all the time. the kids will pick up on it
2006-07-19 17:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by gh1981 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sems you have made up your mind (As you say) but, what about the kids??? what about your other half??? How old are the kids??? How are they going to react to the situation??? How are you going to share the kids??? How are the kids going to react seeing Mummy & Daddy living in seprate houses, while the cousins & freinds, all have their mum & dad with them??? These are the questions you should be asking "yourselves". (Not self but selves)
To be honest? give yourselves a break, leave the kids with the IL's for a week (Provided they are old enough, etc.) go rediscover the feelings that brought you together & you'll see a brand new family "FAMILY" not a brand new husband/wife/kids. but family, that's the key word. May God Bless & keep your family well... Love Nijo
2006-07-19 17:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford it and he refuses to change, knowing how what he is doing is making you feel...then you should really leave. Holding a marriage together just for the sake of the kids is foolish. It's just not worth the heartache and the pain that you are feeling. Believe me, most children regardless of age, have some inkling of when things just aren't right between
Mommy & Daddy".
2006-07-19 17:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋