Do you think I'm crazy? Has this ever happened to you?

Question

I lost my virginity to a guy when I was 14. We were on again off again. He had a rough family life and mine was the worst. My mom and dad had split up and my mom was in the midst of a second nervous breakdown. All I had in the whole world was him and I became dependent on him. I probably became too dependent on him. He used to say that he was my only source of happiness. I didn't think so back then, but I now know he was right. We had a rocky relationship for a couple of years until we broke up and he cut me off. I because desperate, calling him all of the time. Everyone began to say I was crazy. I eventually began agreeing with them. I started cutting on myself. I had to move away. I would write him every once in a while. I told him I was sorry, I told him happy birthday, I tried to rekindle a friendship. He stopped responding after a while. I figured he switched email adresses. After a year or so, I sent him an angry, irrational email. I told him it was...

I told him it was all his fault, everything that had happened to me. Well, he finally wrote me back. I never expected him to get the letter. But he did. He said a lot of things, all very polite, but at the end, he asked me not to contact him anymore because of the nature of our past relationship. Plus he was getting married. That was about 8 months ago and I want to write him again so bad to say I'm sorry, to somehow make him understand. But I know I can't. Am I crazy? Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Yes, I'm 20 years old. I am in therapy. And you're right. I was obsessive and co-dependent. But at least I'm working on it.

Answer 1

Well... first off let me say its very upsetting to hear that you had such a tough life growing up, but (i may be wrong) it sounds like your an adult now. If so, I am not being mean but I would suggest that you seek counseling to help you deal with the amount of unresolved issues that you seem to have.

I hope you are not in a relationship at this time because you need to find "you". unfortunately , you probably did not get the nurturing you needed as a young girl due to family conditions but let me tell you right now, you are a young woman and that is a beautiful thing, it is not only OK to love yourself, but necessary because nobody is going to love you and take care of you until you can do that for yourself.

I wish you luck and love in the future

Answer 2

You obsessive and co dependent. Don't contact him again, it is better to leave things alone. He has asked you not to contact him again, respect his wishes and leave the past in the past.