He says he feels the same about me, what are the chances that true love happens when yoi are not looking for it. should we both give up on our marriages to start a new life together?
2006-07-19 16:41:36 · 25 answers · asked by ABIGALE ROSE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The Truth of the matter is, "Most" men do Not leave their Wives. It is a Very Sticky Situation that you have here.
I have been in this situation before myself. So, my advice to you is, put the relationship on hold for a moment. Both of you View your Current marriage partners and Really Consider what it would be like Without them. "If" you both choose to leave your spouse then let it be because the marriage will Not work, Not because you are Both running on High emotions for one another.
If either of you have kids involved then it become even more tricky.
Just be careful, you are holding your future in the palm of your hands, And it Is Fragile...
I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope all works out well.
Peace, Laurie
2006-07-19 16:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Magical Change 1 · 11⤊ 6⤋
if you do one of both of you will repeat the same mistake and leave, you have a fear of finding love on your own, that's why you choose a maried man over a single guy, he's a ready made package in your mind, there is no fighting, no trying, no break in period. and that's where the fallacy starts, by choosing a married man you do not love him with alll your heart as you say, but rather a small percent, as you took the easy way out of love. it's like taking at test but you got a cheat sheet, sure you'll pass but you did not learn the material in question, and in your case you did not learn what love truly is. he for his efforts get a great sex for a while, he'll string you along and probably will never leave his wife ( for financial and comfort reasons ), you are nothing more than an infatuation for him, in time he'll find another or go back to what he knows, and you be worse for wear emotionally because you are blind
2006-07-19 17:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way - if you are willing to dump your husband, a man you promised for better, for worse or something quite similar, for this other man, why should he expect you to keep up a new life with him? And vice versa. If you do leave for a new life with him, be aware that within a year or two he'll probably have a new mistress, since you'd be in the "wife" role whether or not you married him. Doesn't sound quite as romantic or appealing? Hmm....
Odds are you let yourself get disconnected from your husband for some reason - lord knows there are a million and one ways to get out of touch with a spouse. Maybe you should look at finishing that relationship before you run off looking for love again. At least that way you won't have to be looking over your shoulder in your next relationship.
2006-07-19 16:54:03 · answer #3 · answered by Fed_UP_with_work. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are infatuated with the excitement of something new. Do you really want to give up your entire marriage? Think about your wedding day. You loved your husband with all your heart and wanted to spend the rest of your life with him at one point too. You should stop seeing this other married man all together. Invest all this energy into your marriage. It doesn't sound like your husband is abusive. So you have no good reason to break your promise "For better or worse" doesn't mean "until I find someone who might be better".
You also may want to restrict your activities without your husband. You obviously need to spend more time with him.
2006-07-19 16:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by iahp_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Abigail, most people I've found, when asked for advice about affairs during marriage, are more than willing to tell you how awful you are and how they would never do it. The truth is, morally it's wrong, like knowing the difference between right and wrong, you just know it is. However, that doesn't rule out the crazy input from the part of your brain that tells you it just feels right. I think the only way around it is to center yourself, find out who you are, and whether you can exist in your current relationship. A lot of times, these other potential mates look good because you haven't had time to know them, and you may not know yourself! In order to do the right thing, you have to find who you are first.
2006-07-19 17:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow amazing, your a cheating low life and a home wrecker all in one.. See i love how people throw the word "LOVE" around so easily, u dont know what love is obviously.. because if u did, u wouldnt be married to one man and in love with another.. Your both pathetic.. your poor spouses.. this is what they get for being married to both of u and faithful.. their lives ruined and destroyed because you were both to immature to handle the vows that you took , I wonder, do u have children either of you.. i hope not.. because if you do.. they will grow up hating u both.. for ruining their lives, tearing apart their family just because your both idiots.. And lets just say hypothetically that u both end up together, how on earth would either of you ever be able to trust each other , YOUR BOTH CHEATERS, u both have zero respect for morals and values so what makes either of you think your that damn special that u wont cheat on each other later??? Guess what marriage isnt easy, there are times u tend to feel bored in your relationship , the newness has worn off, and its become almost routine.. sorry that it wasnt the romantic novel u thought it would be.. but guess what.. ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THIS.. so eventually your lover will grow tired of u as well and move on.. im sure all the great wonderful things he's saying to u , he once said to his current wife.. im sure he felt this giddy with her at one point in his life.. Your not that damn special to think ur any better then she is.. he's capable of ruining his own family, now, and he'll be capable of ruining yours now , yours later.. so hope your really happy now, because later ur going to be really miserable.. and i hope your x husband laughs his azz off when it happens..
2006-07-19 17:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, talk about deja vu. this is my situation right now. i am in a worthless marriage that i've never been real happy about...but never did a thing to change it. i met a married man who was also in a worthless marriage he didn't do a thing to change either, but he is waiting until his youngest son is 18 (he's 15 now). we met 5 years ago. december 2004 we admitted to each other that we loved each other. i moved out and filed for divorce in 2005. he has decided to do the same. we are moving to a new city to begin a new life with his 15 year old son. i'm glad i took the risk. it so so worth it. i've never been happier and have never, ever been treated like he treats me. life is just so different. if you really love him, and he loves you...you wouldn't have to give this decision a second thought.
2006-07-19 16:47:58 · answer #7 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful - once you start something nothing will ever be the same again. Try and make your relationship work; the grass is NOT always greener. Affairs seem exciting and can give you momentary feelings of happiness and love - it may not be always the case when the dust settles. Think long and hard before you DO ANYTHING.
2006-07-19 16:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by will_ashcr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy has the best of both worlds. The comfort of a loving family, home, and the excitement of a mistress. You get to be his dirty little secret. Not a very flattering place to be. Do you honestly want to be second when it comes to being loved?? If he loved you at all, he do one of two things 1. he'd leave his wife to be with you or 2. tell you to move on and be with someone who can fully appreciate you and give you all of themselves. That's love.
2016-03-27 00:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to break the news to you, but you are horrible. You don't just stumble into an affair, you create it. All this fluff about true love is bs. You both cheated on your spouses and you expect to build a trusting relationship with each other, I can only hope that you treat each other the same way you are treating your spouses. You deserve that.
2006-07-19 16:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by Sausage Fingers™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if he is going to do that with you, he will do it to you... .same goes for yourself.... if you can't stick by the current committment you have, what happens the next time an interesting, handsome, sexy, intelligent man comes along when you are having difficulty with this new marriage you have committed to? Think about your family.....
2006-07-19 16:47:20 · answer #11 · answered by Me I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋