should I confront him now or wait til he comes home, and if I don't say anything now, how am I to make it seem that nothing is wrong when he calls. He comes home in about 2 months.
2006-07-19 16:22:49 · 24 answers · asked by me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cannot compete with his exwife, they have kids together.
2006-07-19 16:23:28 · update #1
never said he couldn't have phone sex with me
2006-07-19 16:28:37 · update #2
The next time you talk to him let him know that, when he comes back, you will defer to the ex.
If you love him, are waiting on him, have been faithful and this is still happening then be very GLAD that YOU are not the one that has had kid(s) with him and move on.
Sounds easy. I know it's not. But it IS what you should do.
2006-07-19 17:21:40 · answer #1 · answered by intheholycity 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you really LOVE your Husband, DON'T SAY ANYTHING, Reason Right Now there is Far To much going on right now He is @ war Life is Not Promise to us, That Crap is PETTY, He could be injured,killed, kidnapped,ect... God forbid any of this to happened but hey you should be Mad but it is not worth it., Wait until he comes home get ready for him be nice you do not want any bad memories over something like a sex conversation, How do you know he was having such a conversation did the Ex tell you this?did you hear the conversation? This type of stuff is not worth it you should be concern with rather he comes home. We are @ war there should not be war between the two of you. If all is True so what you are the wife, She is the Ex YOU ARE THE **** not her, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF and do not allow this type of Mess/Crap to interfere with your relationship, If he's not with her/sleeping with her then let that go, When he comes home be the good wife and if you decide to ask him about it BE NICE, I would just let it go. BUT JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON HIM. Meantime Pray for him/troops.
2006-07-19 16:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by sweettoni37 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, first off how did you find out this was happening??
I would confront him now, There is no reason to wait until he gets home, he didn't wait for you. I don't care if he has kids with his ex wife...she is called ex for a reason!!! Out of my own experiance if this is true, you might as well get things in motion while he is gone for a divorce. Other wise this will just be the first for many. Ok so phone sex isn't actual in contact sex, but what will happen if you say nothing? He will come home, and figuring you aren't the wiser he will go have actual sex with her. And who is to say that he isn't just waiting till he gets home to leave you and go back to her? You need to just confront him now and find out WTF is going on.
2006-07-19 17:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by ticklingtoyz4u 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Before you get ready to cut the guys head off slow down and take a look at a few things like if your proof is concrete, if he's ever given you a reason to doubt him, and truly ask yourself in this entire time of his absence have you also been totally faithful in every way to him...you know like no phone calls to an ex or checking out guys when you may have been out. And the only reason I bring this up because I personally know how hard it is to be in this type of situation. . At the same time you also have to realize the type of environment your husband is living in...and it is no paradise. There is a constant amount of stress phsical and emotional with him at all times. And with the threat of danger around him it makes a person rethink about the way they live in the event of the worst happening. These kinds of situations bring out strong emotions in people not all of them good emotions. You simply may want to explain to him that in order for the two of you to get through this you need to depend on each other emotinally because you can't phsically because of the distance. So every phone call and every day you and he are both given should be lived to the fullest and filled with support and encouragement and reminders of the love the two of you share . Ask him how he would feel if you were having phone with another man because even though he is at war you are also dealing with the effects of his absence because of the war. Whether you confront him now or not I think is something you should pray about and ask God to help you decide. You need each other and you need God right now. And you don't have to compete you just have to be there for him ...that's what a wife...a real woman does and if he can't realize that then you deserve better. Mine did a few things that stressed me and I was pregnant when he left so take care of yourself and take a long hard look at your marriage remember all marriages go through things.It's up to you to decide what you want out of it. Good luck..hang in there.
2006-07-19 17:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by missconduct 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ummmmmm how do u know that he's having phone sex with his x wife??? obviously if u have to confront him he didnt tell u..so did his x wife tell u this?? Because unless u know it for a fact.. i wouldnt just go believing anyone.. and i definately wouldnt believe the x wife..if shes the one telling u this..and wouldnt confront him on it till he gets home.. not much he could do to prove his innocence from a far anyways.. Did u find emails from him to her or something?? i mean for me to find out something so horrible about my husband and believe it there better be some really damaging proof of this.. and yes u can compete with her, just because she has kids with him doesnt mean he loves her..he married you for a reason.. if he wanted her , he wouldnt of married you.. and if he is quite capable of having phone sex with his wife why wouldnt he? and im not to keen on the phone system over in Iraq or how much privacy they get ect.. but when would he find the privacy or time to do something like that.. to me it just doesnt add up.. i think u need to trust your husband atleast till he gets back and u can talk to him face to face about it..
2006-07-19 16:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you'll have to wait because you won't be able to control your attitude towards him. He will wonder why you've changed and when he asks what's wrong I would tell him what I knew no matter where he is. If he can be unfaithful a million miles away during a war why should you care? This isn't about competing with his ex-wife it's a matter of him being a jerk and you deserving better.
2006-07-19 16:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really think you should say something now you cant let something like that fester for 2 months...but how did you find out... are you sure he's having phone sex with her...
you should no way be feeling that you cant compete with her..she may be the mother of his children...but they arent together now... and you are his wife afterall
2006-07-19 16:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you know 100% that is the truth. Look at who told you. But yes you should confront him why not? And never say that you can not compete with his x you are his wife now kids or no kids he left her *** right.
2006-07-19 16:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think u should keep yo cool while ya'll talking on the phone do all the I love stuff, and when he cumes home, bust he's *** , like i know what u been doing, don't play dum now, then scream at him, and then take some time off 4 yo self u feel me
2006-07-19 16:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would try to wait until he gets back, because that is a hard conversation to have over the phone...and it will probably be best resolved in person. I would just try to hang in there and pretend that nothing is wrong until he gets home.
2006-07-19 16:32:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋