OK..WHY cant I have an orgasm during intercourse? There always has to be foreplay until i almost ***. HELP?

Question

Whats wrong with me??? Do I need to speak to my OB about this or what? kinda embarrassing

Answer 1

Ah, the endless quest for "the Big O."

Many of the other posters have already addressed the obvious - that frequently women don't achieve climax during intercourse, or do not do so without additional stimulation.

Your comment about needing foreplay is a good observation. Part of your response to sex is your emotional conditioning - what you have learned about sex, and the emotional attachments involved in it. The stronger that part of your conditioning, the more you will need to be caressed, touched, and shown appreciation as an integral part of your lovemaking. And the more you feel cherished and treasured emotionally as well as physically, the more rewarding and intense your physical experiences will be.

Physically, foreplay is analogous to "warming up the motor." Your partner should learn to love extended foreplay - because both of you will feel so much more desire that your intercourse will become much more powerful.

Besides working together to find ways to stimulate you to aid in reaching climax during intercourse, you can try other positions and techniques.

If you don't know about the "g-spot," then you should find out right away. A web search will take you to several good sites about this extremely responsive area in your vagina. Usually it's just inside near the opposite of your clitoris. Once you find it, your sex life will improve. Try having your partner help by stimulating you to orgasm first and while you are still feeling that, beginning penetration. He'll love the way it feels and you may be able to continue or repeat.

Also, the g-spot is more susceptible to stimulation if you use a variety of positions for that purpose. "Doggy" style is one.

A very dear fiend of mine, who loves sex a great deal, found that she achieved orgasm more often and more intensely by combining anal stimulation. you may not find that comfortable.

That same friend also discovered she reached thundering orgasms after she induced lactation. At first it didn't work, but eventually she was climaxing immediately on insertion. Part of that, however, was also her state of mind. She ALLOWED herself to get off, and get off without reservation. State of mind is a key part.

There's nothing wrong with you. And there's plenty of opportunity to have even more delight and pleasure in sex as you relax, experiment, and learn wht gives you both the most satisfaction. Good luck - and ENJOY!

Answer 2

You are TOTALLY NORMAL!!!
I'd say the majority of women don't have an orgasm consistently from intercourse (despite what "Cosmo" would have you believe!) A smaller group sometimes have an orgasm through intercourse, and about 10% do so pretty much every time -- some of them multiple times.
On the other hand, a majority of women do climax from oral sex or masturbation, since they need direct stimulation on the clitoris to have an orgasm; during intercourse, the vagina (not the clit) is what's getting most of the stimulation. Sometimes, changing around your positions during sex can bring his body into better contact with your clitoris, and that can make the difference. If that doesn't work, make him give you cunnilingus until you get your "Big-O," before letting him have intercourse with you to get his.

Answer 3

There's no hard and fast rule as to what makes an orgasm possible. You've probably watched too many movies where 2 minutes of sex=orgasm. If you're the type who needs warming up, then that's perfectly OK. My lover is exactly the same way, and whether it's foreplay, sex, orgasm, or afterglow, it's ALL GREAT.

Answer 4

Everyone keep saying its normal not to but what if it is all in your mind if so its not normal not to have a orgasm during intercourse. Maybe you women are just accepting the lack of having one because you mentally can't but that is not normal. I find it hard to believe that mother nature screwed up i would like to know how women from other cultures ability to have a orgasm during intercourse works for them.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, most women do not have orgasms during intercourse without some additional stimulation. Nothing wrong with you, you just have to figure out how to orgasm in other ways.

Answer 6

You are normal. Most women don't orgasm during intercourse. If it really bothers you talk to your ob doctor.
i had a friend who couldn't orgasm at all and her ob told her to get her clit pierced. It worked. I'm not sure I would go that far.

Answer 7

A lot of women don't orgasm from intercourse. Because most require direct clitoral stimulation that intercourse cannot provide. It is normal.

Answer 8

I know exactly how you feel. I had one once. One time during intercourse. Other then that it just feels good. I had to have that "talk" with my boyfriend because i always wanted him to play with my clit during sex. At first he thought it was his fault, that he wasn't "good". But after I explained it to him he felt a lot better. Plus we also learned new and exciting ways for me to climax. ;)
Your definantly not the only woman who is like this. All those woman on porn who scream at the top of their lungs just from intercourse.. are faking it. I know its sad. Anyway, hold your head up. Try telling your man what makes you feel good, get him involved. let him do it! trust me.. it makes a man feel good to know that he knows how to "push your buttons" so to speak!:)

Answer 9

first of all, relax and don't think about it. the moment you start focusing on the orgasm, you're bound to lose it. remember to enjoy the moment. make sure you're partner is aware of this and that there are specific things you like. many people take a long time to get there, so don't stress. try new things, fantasies and role playing also help.

Answer 10

i will tell you, there nothing wrong in you. by stimulating your clit if you get orgasm then you are perfectly alright. have more
foreplay and then do the full course. which will help to orgasm