long distance relationship going bad? (part 2)?

Question

thank you for your answers... i really dont want to hurt this person she means alot to me.. but i just cant get past all the fighting there is now.. and how unhappy i must be makin her with me gettin mad at the simplest things.. but at times i just feel like i dont make her happy.. like recently she got really mad at me for buying something for my self and not saving towards her coming here.. which i can understand how that would make someone mad, but i paid for 2-3 plane tickets from her's to mine, and i spent a weekened in a hotel alone where she lived.. any ideas on how to let her go the right way so she understands that its not working being so far apart.. if she was here i would be more then happy to try and work it out.. but i js cant do the arguing.. i kno its probably my fault but i js dont think i can handle the distance much longer..

Answer 1

She is probably getting mad over little things because she misses you and the distance is frustrating to her.....However, it is easy to see that she does care for you, so if you choose to end it, please be gentle on her heart....

Answer 2

Well, you're only 13. I'm sure everyone says this to you :-) You are going to grow and change, and I hate to break it to you but you two will probably grow apart at some point. Not because either of you are bad people, but it just happens - hardly anyone marries their "first love," and the younger it happens the less likely it is you're in it for life. I'm not trying to depress you or get you to break it off with him. I say if you love each other now, continue to talk and see each other when you can. Encourage honesty, and give him the same thing you expect of him. If either of you meets someone else, you need to be honest about it. This is especially important is you are sexually active together. Trust is huge there. If you are totally committed to each other, then more power to you. It's not that it can't work. Anything is possible, especially where love is concerned! So I say go with it, continue talking to him. At the very least you'll learn lessons that will help you in future relationships. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Too begin Long Distance relationship rarely work.However I don't know yalls age's.However you sound young. Now If you for some reason belive you don't make her happy. Your probably right. Not That your a bad person.However both of you are looking at basically who does more for who and how many times.Now if yall argue about petty things like that now and you both aren't even married. Can you really be sure that even your marriage would survive this kind of arguing. Your probably say well no because she will be with you. Half of people who are involved in long distant relationships usually have someone that they see when there long distant boyfriend or girlfriend is in ther hometown. When it comes to breaking off a relationship it's never easy . however it depends on how long yall were in the relationship. Sometimes when some get angry over evry little thing usually is a hint they either are tring to tell you they want out, Or she has a very Low self esteem about herself and being angry is her way of getting your attention. However if you want to break it off .Make sure you express how much you loved her and you relly thought you were making her happy. But you think it's for the best that you both go on being friends . That way you both wont regreat it later. However you wish her all the happiness in the world.And that you will always have a special place in your heart for and all you want is her happiness. And your letting her go because of that special love you have for her.Ok. It Will Get Better."Don't Rush Love Because Rushed Love Don't Last" My Very Own Special Queot. GOOD-LUCK

Answer 4

I'm guessing the reason she gets upset over little things is her REALLY getting mad that u and her are so far apart and that can make it where u two may have to breakup. She wants so badly to be with u but because ur not it hurts and she leashes out at the smallest thing. She may even be doing this to family, friends and co-workers. She's really feeling the absents of you, so it wasn't about the thing u bought forr urself it was because she's tried of waiting and she knows that u may end up breaking up. I bet she cries herself to sleep many nights and dhe may not br eating or she may be eating too much because of the stress or hurt she's feeling.

I know ur hurting too which is normal, I just hope u ans she work it out and that if it ends u both end it on a friendly matter.

But 1st please try to be strong and tell her the same just try to assure her u love and miss her too

Answer 5

i think i missed part one which might be why i'm a little lost on the details. so first of all long distance CAN work. its has to be the right people at the right time and the right places. its wrong for her to assume that you are going to pay for her to come out there everytime. a relationship is two sided in everything. no one person can be doing more than half or it wont work. if you are givng everything you can and you still feel shes not happy maybe what BOTH of you need is someone more suited for you. i could go on and on about relationships and long distance but i wont. just do what you feel is best in your heart and avoid making excuses for your other half. best of luck!

Answer 6

I agree with Wednesday. Long distance relationships don't work. At all.

I think that she may be upset that you're breaking it off, though, ESPECIALLY if you have been making plans to move her up there. If you still love her, stick out the hard times and get her there.

If not, though, it's time to tell her before she starts making plans for your wedding. Moving someone to a different state pretty much seals the deal, with or without a ring.

Think about what you really want, but if it comes down to breaking up with her, you need to do it face to face, ESPECIALLY because of how serious you were.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I've been in a similar situation so I know how you feel. The best thing to do is to be honest and upfront about how you feel and provide reasons for your decision. The more you prolong it the worse it will get because you will start to resent her and that resentment will probably cause you to hurt her without you even realizing it. I think you should tell her the truth and hope for the best. Don't hide your feelings she will appreciate you being honest in the long run.

Answer 8

If she can't appicate the little things you do, how can she want you? You can't be the only one in the relationship. She has to care for you. If long distance can't work out how can living in the same place work, she just yell and scream at you in person. Set some ground rules, and if you already have and she breaks them let her go. How do you she faithful if she shows signs of not trusting over you treating yourself for once?

Answer 9

I have a very good ansewer because I used to do LD relationships TRUST ME. They DONT work. It always ends in fighting,arguing and wondering what there doing when there not online/calling. So I would Say Hurt her now rather than waiting and getting closer then hurting her more than you would originally. Its just going to get worse. And its just really hard. Mainly because you will most likely NEVER meet them in real life.

Answer 10

I didn't get in on "part I" of your series, but I just had a l/d relationship end. NOT on my part, but on his.
It's very heart-wrenching, I know.
You need to figure out "what you want" in a relationship, the qualities you're looking for and so on.
I know hurting her is bound to happen if you break up, but in the long run, it might be better for both of you, mentally and spritually. You are going to hurt, too.
Time DOES heal all wounds, believe me!
GOOD LUCK!!!!! Hope my answer helps!