How can this man live with himself?

Question

My daughter's biological father saw her 1 time when she was 3 yrs. old for 1 hr. This has been almost 4 years ago. He pays child support and he only lives 10 min. away. He is married with another child and so am I. I just don't understand this sort of behavior. Yes, his wife knows about his other child.

Answer 1

Easily. The man has a new life and wants to move on. He fulfills his legal obligation of child support, what else does the law say he has to do? Nothing. Does he dote over his new child? If he does, then it is probably the case that he just wants to get on with his life and leave as much of the past behind. Did he know her before? Your question suggests that he only met her once. If that is the case then he really has no emotional connection with the child. You cannot miss what you do not care for. Is there an incentive for him to get to know this child? Not really. He has one of his own. I don't know him or the child, or the rest of the details but this is what I can come up with. Hope this gives some insight.

Answer 2

No one could possibly know exactly what is going on in his head, but him...Possibly people who have been close to him may have a clue, but then again, maybe not. It really is sad (tragic, really) that he doesn't seem to want to be involved in his daughter's life. Maybe you should ask him why. You might not get an answer, or you might get more than you wanted to know. Either way, it seems he's made up his mind, at least for now, and there really isn't much that you can do to change that. The more you try, the more likely it is he will pull away even more. He has to decide to change his way of viewing things. You can't do it for him. I know it hurts you to think about it all. All you can really do is be there for your daughter yourself. She is lucky to have such a compassionate mother. And as hard as it might be, try not to say negative things about her father to her when she's old enough to understand. Let her make up her own mind about how she feels. She will be old enough to do that someday, and it will be easier for her to "see the forest for the trees" if you try not to influence her thinking one way or another.

Answer 3

I'd say it is a good thing that you don't understand that sort of behavior. We'd have cause for concern if you did. Face it you got in bed with the wrong guy. Be thankful that you've been able to move on and find someone else who hopefully can be a great father to your daughter. Love your daughter with all your heart, soul and mind and she'll grow up just fine. Considering his absenteeism it's a good thing that she is still the age that she is.

Answer 4

He;s running from his previous relationship. Somehow, in his mind , that 1st relationship must not come into contact with his current family. It's like , if it does, " TWO WORLDS COLLIDE " . But you know what .....He's too STUPID to realize that he is missing the relationship of his life with his daughter . He'll never get those years back. They're gone forever. And he's too dumb to know it. . And there's also a little bit of " I'll act this way to spite my EX ' in there too. How do I know all this . My son's mother did the same to him . It's like winning the lottery, knowing you have the winning ticket , and intentionally throwing it away. PATHETIC - JUST HANG IN THERE and put your mind on other things .

Answer 5

there is no explanation or justification for absentee parenting other than a self-centered egotistical perspective on life. unfortunately you feel for your young daughter who has done nothing to merit this treatment from a biological parent. equally as unfortunate, we cannot legislate who can be parents...kids get who they get. it's too difficult to try to live someone else's life for him, so i recommend not getting too wrapped up in his pathetic parenting. most of all, take care of your precious young one so she doesn't develop feelings of neglect, abandonment, or self loathing because she can't understand why a parent wouldn't pay attention. it simply isn't normal, and the problem lies with the bad parent, not the child. wish there were an easy way to get people to accept their responsibilities, especially when other lives are involved.

Answer 6

i do not imagine I surely have heard of a few thing so despicable for a lengthy time period. This has no longer some thing to do with faith or marriage. that is extra to do with consumer-friendly human decency about which this guy is easily-known with no longer some thing. he's both gutless,callous,unprincipled-probably all 3 and then some extra. changed into it incorrect? certain it changed into an affront to any criteria you want to degree it up antagonistic to-regardless of creed

Answer 7

Lack of conscienceness.Must have some sort of brain damage!The same thing happened to my sister only he has never paid one cent to her or the children.My niece want even accept his phone calls,she is really pissed off at 12.My nephew has try to talk with him but didn't get anywhere.Sometimes it's actually better this way.My sister really don't want any of his influence in their lives.Anyway Good Luck!!And God Bless You and the Kids!!

Answer 8

Only thing I can figure is he thinks that he will not get the chance to be part of the kids life, so he has adopted the "out of sight, out of mind" mentallity. He will regret it someday, I know my own father has.

You should have a sit down with him and explain this to him.

Answer 9

His attitudes assumptions an beliefs are compatible with ignoring this child... or not.

When behavior is not in alignment with beliefs you naturally get some guilt - he is either guilt free or not.

You don't have to understand it - it is the way he chooses to live. And it could change if something changes his beliefs.

Answer 10

I think seeing his daughter inflicts some guilt in his heart, and we all know it doesn't feel good when we feel guilty. The guilty feeling in women will just be overcome her desire of seeing her child, and the guilty feeling in men will just be overcome by his ego. The fact that his current wife knows he has another kid shows he is not trying to totally ignore your daughter's existence.