My BF has some alcohol issues he needs to resolve, which he is not taking seriously. He quit his job, and lays his hangups on me.He has been treating me like I am an object.Being pregnant and all, being comfortable is not really an option while having sex and I dont always want it right now. His hormones are raging at this time... Damn it.. Sometimes I just want to sleep.. But thats not everything.. He expects me to do everything.... All the house chores, grant it I am now working at this time but I cont do everything... Im also not helpless either but still.. It's not fair.. We just lost our rental house, moved into my mothers.. they have too many problems to begin with.. Sometimes I feel like he is just using me as a sex object, and when I try to tell him that...he obviously thinks Im joking or something. I've put my foot down and no changes have been made.. This is a hard decision.. Am I right to feel all this?
2006-07-19 14:35:50 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TOO LATE I MEAN C'MON COMMON SENSE
2006-07-19 14:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by DJ Vendetta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell his to start going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings tomorrow where they will help him get to the root of his problems and find a sponsor. Look on the web or in the newspaper. There are meetings all the time. Tell him to get up off his lazy *** and out the door and get a job. He's jumping you all the time because he's not using is energy in a productive way, not that there's anything wrong with sex.. You don't need to take care of two children. Tell him he comes back with a job or he doesn't come back at all. When he lays all of his problems on you, tell him you heard it all before, but it's a new day now and it's time to be a men. God bless.
2006-07-19 14:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can tell you your feelings aren't right, they are what they are... people may think they are unjustified (i don't) but your feelings are yours, like your feet, not right or wrong, just feet. If he isn't trying to be of help or trying to be the best he can be at this very important time, you are in for a real problem after the baby comes, more than likely. I didn't like my ex-wife much anymore BEFORE she was pregnant, even less when she was, but when she was PG, I still made sure whe didn't have to work when her back started hurting, did as much around the house as I could (working 12-16 hrs/day) and went to birthing classes with her and (even though i didn't feel like it after working or before working) went on walks with her. Yes, we were eventually divorced, a few years later, (we had problems, like i said) but while she was PG i made her as comfortable as possible. So if he can't put out a little extra effort or be concerned about you NOW, see what i mean? trouble... you need to tell him you are very serious and if he can't change, you need to get him out of YOUR PARENTS' house... hate to be so hard on another guy, but i don't wanna lie to ya. sorry and be sure all is as bad as it seems first, pregnancy does cause emotional swings, but if that's how things really are, good luck and be strong.
2006-07-19 15:13:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all that going on with him do you really need him like what does he do or YOU except sex and that's available . I think you need to make a life for yourself and your baby without him. From what you say he's totally wrapped up in himself,totally selfish and again I ask what do you have him for?Ir will only gaet worse and on top of that he has alcohol problems----for your future sanity you need to put him out of your life. If in the future he wishes to be a father-will he give you support-I doubt it unless he goes through some drastic changes-you can arrange visits through the courts if he shows himself responsible but he probably won't for he has no ambition for you that hes supposed to love-why do you allow him to sponge off you? Why should he change-you tolerate all this. If youre tired don't allow him to mess with you. I'd start pushing him out of my bed and not stop pushing until he was totally gone. A real man supports himself then his partner-its called manly pride. A real man isn't just hormones but when in love considers the other persons needs,desires,wants and her welfare. He obviously doesn't care about your pregnancy for he'd be helping you so you won't ge oertired or run your health down. Your main and only consideration now should be the health of you and your baby for your baby is helpless depending on you. Think it'll change when the baby is born-worse for you'll do all now and take care of the baby and he'll probably be jealous of the time spent with the baby and if you 're too tired then do you think he'll care- Please do yourself a favor and get rid of this Neanderthal.
2006-07-19 14:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dearie, I agree with you. You and you're bf do indeed need some time apart. You're about to bring a child into this world, now ask yourself this, do you want your child growing up and treating others, even you, how your bf treats you? Is this the type of environment you want to give this child?
No man, has any right to treat a woman with such degrade. He isn't getting his act straight, he isn't prepare to be a father, a husband, or even a provider for his family. Sweetie, I think it's about time that you actually really put your foot down once and for all. Think of your child. Think of yourself. Do you like the situation your in? If the answer is no, then...you really need to discuss the problems that you're having with him at the moment.
2006-07-19 14:43:47 · answer #5 · answered by Faye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take care of yourself and your baby. That's it. Don't rely on anyone else. Tell him to get off of you and get him some lube so he can relieve himself. This guy sounds like a mental abuser. You don't need to take that from anyone and it won't stop with you. He will be verbally and mentally abusive to your child as well.
Unfortunately, you cannot change him. The only person that can change him is him. If he does not think he needs to change he won't, even if you put your foot down. You and the baby deserve better. Go find something better... it's out there!
2006-07-19 14:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by Kristonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to consider putting the child up for adoption, and running as far away from this man as possible. I am so sorry to hear all this...I don't really know what else to tell you. Your situation looks grim if you remain exactly where you're at. You need to change...but I know with a baby coming that is not easy to do. I wish you the best!
2006-07-19 14:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both should see a relationship counselor, or some other professional third party counseling.
Sounds like you two have communication issues. For the sake of the child, you both should really work to create a stable environment for your child. That's priority number one, which translates to you two getting along and communicating better. And since it seems you both can't do it on your own, it's time to bring in some professional help. Perhaps a pastor?
2006-07-19 14:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by im3ngs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is best that the baby has a father around but if he is that irresponsible and disrespectful towards you he will probably act the same way toward the baby. It may be time for an ultimatum. Tell him everything that is bothering you and tell him exactly what you expect from him and if he is not willing to put in any effort, neither will you.
2006-07-19 14:42:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before your child comes in to the world, you two need to get your issues resolved. A child needs two parents, he needs to stop masking his problems with alcohol and keep help. Get a job and take care of you. Pregnancy is rough on a woman and he needs to know that. Since you live with your mother, take the opportunity to save money and get yourselves settled. I have an 8 months old and I am constantly on my toes. My husband and I take turns with everything. Your b/f needs to take responsibilty for his family. Good luck hun.
2006-07-19 14:42:22 · answer #10 · answered by nicki_wants_to_play 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant ready all of this it is making me sick. y do guy that have such good girl just treat them like there just i piece of ****. sorry for the swearing but it is true. girl you should have the best that is out there. you are not a sex object you are a women and a person. to me a girl should be treated like a king. this make me sick I'm so sorry your being put threw this.i don't no what to say other then tell him how you feel and if he don't like it well i no it will be hard having baby with out a father there but you SHOULD AND WILL HAVE THE THAT IS OUT THERE.. You just need to get him out of your life. you don't need this in your life. I'm praying for you man this make me sick i don't no how many time i can make that clear. get him out of your life now he not worth it. god bless. I'm praying for you. and if you need to talk I'm you. hi_c_boy @yahoo.com
2006-07-19 14:51:44 · answer #11 · answered by Chris Bell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋