People taking advantage. What would you do?

Question

The people in my life are driving me crazy, mother asking for money, boyfriend not pulling his weight, roommate knocking asking for cigarettes, friend asking for medication. Jeez, I am really down myself right now, and barely have for myself. What do I do? I feel like moving away from everybody.

Answer 1

Given that I'm an attorney who knows how to do construction, and I own a truck (useful for moving furniture), and I have a few dollars in the bank, I get this all the time.

It's good to help people--nothing makes me feel better about life. But the trick is to decide in advance exactly what you can afford to give without hurting yourself--then say NO with a clear conscience once you reach that point. It's amazing how people who supposedly couldn't get by without help suddenly discover resources they "forgot" about and can, in fact, get by on their own. But again--it's great to be a generous person. Learn to manage it and you'll be one of the happier people on the planet.

Answer 2

Going through kinda the same thing as you are right now. Lot of people close to me depend on me for many things from rides to borrowin money , babysittin, and on and on. Some tell me im too nice and because im constantly doin for others, im really not havin much of life. They are right. It seems to me, your easy access to the ones that have become dependable on you for this n that. Maybe its not such a bad idea to put a little distance from them all and yourself by finding a new place. A new location close by but far enough that they might not travel as often, and bother you less. Everyone needs space and alone time. Nothing wrong with that. If you decide not to move, let them know you barely got time for yourself and the things you need to be doing, let alone time for other things. stop answering the door or phone, ignore them for awhile. try not to be easy accesss to them. tell them you have no money, you just paid bills. ask them if you can borrow money, or borrow cigarettes... LOL.

Answer 3

Life is crazy sometimes.
Lets see...

First off quit smoking so you can live a long and happy life then your room mate won't be able to bum smokes off ya.

Boy friend not pulling his weight...get another

Mom asking for money....well thats ok she gave you money for many years, and now it's time to give some back.

Friends wanting Meds.... time to get new friends

Don't be down on yourself... Go have an ice cream cone, go for a walk in the park. Do something just for you.... Well maybe wait till it's not so hot outside....

And just be greatful your not living in Northern Israel or Southern Lebanon

Answer 4

In my opinion and I have experienced similar situations myself, I would say they aren't really your friends if all they are doing is using you for what you give them. I would personally tell them to get lost if I told them anything at all. I would not move over it though. If you avoid people, they will eventually get the hint.

The other option is to confront these people and let them know how you feel. Don't hold back, but be honest. If you choose this option, you will know who your true friends are after the the talk.

As for your Mother. I don't believe a parent should ever take or borrow money from their children, but that's only my opinion. If my Mom asked me for money and I had it, I would probably give it to her, but if I didn't have it, I would tell her I just don't have it to give. I will never have that issue because my Mother would never ask me for a dime.

Answer 5

I been there and done that and the hard part was telling to back off and do for themselves. Tell your mother that you dont have money on it ( in a truthful honest way, dont carry any on you). Tell your friends to go get his/her own cigarettes are start charging for a quarter per cig. Friends asking you for meds, tell them to go see their mother and leave you alone about it. You should not be the sole provider for any one of these people. You should tell them to stop and go somewhere else with their BS. Tell your boyfriend if he wants anything from you, he has to pull his weight just like you do.

Answer 6

Girl, put your foot down. Let everyone know that you don't mind helping, but you are not an ATM, a drug store, a maid, atc. Never let anyone else bring you down. Let them know how you feel. Tell your mom you love her and all, but you are trying to make it and cannot always give her money. Let yo man know that he needs to get his **** together and pull some weight or he gotta go. Tell your roommate to buy their own doggone cigs. Let them all know. If they can't handle the truth, well just stop cold on their asses.

Answer 7

my advice would be.....try to calm down and figure out one problem at a time. tell ur roomate to stop smoking and take a chill pill. tell ur friend askin for meds to go to a doctor and see if he's normal or just taken too much meds and on an addiction. tell ur boyfriend if he doesnt help out, get a divorce. and for your mother, tell her to calm down, ask her why she needs the money, and tell her that she needs to get a job and just try to settle down and make the best of her life as best as she can.


well that's all i can say. so if you wanna take my advice, go ahead, if you dont, we all have free will.

Answer 8

Learn to say NO! A mother shouldnt be taking from her child. Your b/f needs a wakeup call. Tell him to grow up or get out. If you cant talk to them maybe you should move.

Answer 9

stand up for yourself and tell them no. if things dont go good, i would see a counselor, preferrably a school counselor, so that way if something bad did happen because you said no, someone else would be aware of the situation.

Answer 10

Yes, but how is your computer running?

Tell Mom you gave at the office.

Dump your boyfriend.

Quit smoking.

Tell your friend you're not a pharmacist.