Husband says he's in love with someone else?

Question

What would you do if your husband told you he's "in love" with someone else. I feel his heart is no longer with me but he say's he is willing to 'give her up' and work at saving our marriage.
Im gutted of course but so unsure what I should do.
What would you do? take him back or end the marriage?

Answer 1

It takes two people to make a marriage work but only one to destroy it. You cant make any one love you and staying in a marriage that is already broken is a lesson in futility. He has said I don't love you any more. It wont change you will never forget those words. Let it go,you have nothing to fight for. Hold your head up and move on. You have a whole new world ahead of you . Lots of women live in a loveless marriage,but is that what you want. Will you settle for half a marriage just to keep him. I'm sorry I sound so harsh but I saw my sister waste her life in a loveless relationship. Its turned a beautiful young girl into a bitter lonely old woman.I wish you happiness and I'm sorry he hurt you so much.

Answer 2

Others may say you should go end it but for me, you have to consider your feelings too.... if you still love him so much you tell him that you want to give your marriage a second chance but see to it that he will really forget the girl and will be honest and faithful to u. If you think he still loves you thats a good point. Just hold on and be strong. Things will be ok. Also, take in consideration what type of relationship has been built up with your husband and the girl...

Answer 3

do you feel there is a possibility of things becoming the same as they once were? if no, then i think you should end it.

BUT since you still in love him, i think it would not be wrong to give him a second chance, because that way you can be sure that you did everything to make your marriage work. what if later in life you feel that you acted too fast and wonder how things could have been different had you given him a second chance.


So you might want to consider that before you make any decision.

Answer 4

i been down this road too its easy to say you love someone else when you been married a while and things have gone a little stale he could be in love with someone but then again maybe he trying to be awful or shock you i took some time out from my partner and went back to my mums it was only after a bit of time i realised i still love the person i married 20 years ago luckily we worked things out and things are good again.

oh and ps ladies the person i told my wife i was in love with was none exsistant there was no third part i just used it as an excuse to end constant rows we were stuck in a rut and need some space i guess i went to see her every day but then stayed at my mums at night till we resolved things so dont be so judgmental sometimes things arent always what they look like

Answer 5

If he has told you that he loves someone else it is because he wants you to let him go. He is offering to sacrifice himself for you because he feels guilty about what he is doing to you. But he is hoping you'll let him go, if he really wanted the marriage to work he would conceal his true feelings.

Maybe you'll be able to stand being with him knowing that he would rather be with someone else, but it would eat most people up and your hurt and insecurity (not to mention his resentment) would kill the relationship anyway.

Obviously he is a nice guy to offer to put your dreams before his own. You should let him follow his heart and soon someone who truly wants you will come along.

Go on match.com or similar and have a look at who else is available, you might be pleasantly surprised and very soon feel the joy of sincere love

Good luck

Answer 6

You must be really hurting right now and this must have knocked your confidence levels right down. I'm really sorry about this but I believe that the fact that he's been honest with you and wants to try to work things out means that he really values your relationship. I think that if you love him you should give him one more chance and try to work things out, spending more time together and injecting some new energy back into your sex life. Try to have more fun together and to be his best friend so that he can confide in you more and in time maybe you'll both be so happy together that you would have forgotten about the pain he put you through.

Answer 7

Do you still love your husband? If you do, then take him back and give the marriage another chance. After all, he did say he is willing to work at saving it.

Answer 8

I had the same thing happen to me, I was married seven years when one day he said he loved another women. I prayed on it diligently until I found peace in the decision I needed to make which ended up being a divorce. Follow your heart but use your head,and rush into a decision, defiantly get marriage and individual counseling. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 9

tommy are u a dog , ok about this question , i feel its very natural phenonmenon that a man or woman can fall in love even if he/she is married but if he is saying to save the marriage he seems to be committed to you . afterall this is marriage how can u break this over such a trivial matter . u kno sacrifice is the key to a successful relatioship . so u better try to make him realise that he is at fault and save ur marriage , i love happily married couples

Answer 10

first of all message for tommy - you are so insensitive and rude.. now back to an important question.. its obvious your deeply hurt by this revalation but you must be realistic because if you take him back and he does love another woman his not going to suddenly stop being in love with her because there's no on off switch for love so I suggest that you really think hard about whether your prepared to compromise yourself any further in this marriage.. i wish you all the best and just remember us women always find that inner strength when we need it! You will make the best decision for your future i'm sure..