ive been chatting to someone on the internt for three years and he is a really good friend, makes me laugh, cheers me up when i need it and we chat for hours on the phone - tonight however he told me he loved me and i don't know what to say as it came from no where!! I value his friendship and am satisfied with how things are between us but don't want to hurt his feelings?
how would you handle it??
2006-07-19 12:51:04 · 11 answers · asked by maidenrocks 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i havent met him before but don't want anything serious right now as i'm just coming out of a 16 year relationship -it wouldn't be fair on him besides anything else
2006-07-20 05:48:06 · update #1
Definetly an interesting question, and we all know that that can be quite rare on here. lol
It is hard for me to say how i would handle it , for two reasons.
1: it has never happened to me
and
2: I am a guy so my perspective would be the wrong way round.
BUt i will try and give you some advise.
I think you need to ask yourself a few questions first.
Do you love this guy?
Do you think he actually loves you or maybe just infatuated?
You also do not say how close or how far away the two of you are, perhaps he is in a different country, or perhaps he stays relatively close to you.
Is there a chance you will both meet?
If i was to jump to conclusions here I would say there is a good chance you live quite far away from each other because if you have been chatting regularly for 3 years and not yet me then that would explain that, though I could be wrong.
It seems realistically you have two options, you could tell him you don't love him (if you dont that is) at which he could take offence and stop speaking to you, even if you explain about being happy with the friendship.
Perhaps he wants to take the 'relationship' to the next level.
The other way you could handle it is just to almost ignore it and continue chatting to him in the same way you have been doing.
Sorry if this is not too helpful, but as im sure you will understand it is always hard to answer something like this without more information being available.
ANyway, I hope it works out for you.
2006-07-19 12:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by Alistair B 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
i have been down this road i had someone tell me they loved me on messenger and wonderd how the hell can they love me when they have never met me sure they saw me on cam but not in real life. on messenger systems there are a lot of fakes or pretend wanna be's and a lot of lonley hearts i always used to say everyone has their own story for being there.
be honest tell this person what you feel if its only friendship you want and not love they should understand hopefully however it can make thinks hard if you use the same chat rooms or whatever for a while i speak from bitter expirience good luck but just be who you are and be open and honest
2006-07-19 13:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by omnigomni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey babes - you never mentioned if you had met this guy or not, so its a bit harder to answer your question - but anyway - I think you should tell him that you are very flattered by what he has said and that you too love him - but not in the same way. Tell him you value his friendship, and would do anything for him etc but you dont want to risk messing what ye have up by complicating it with romance. Be careful though - he sounds like a gem and dont risk loosing him
2006-07-19 21:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) Try to meet him in order to know him better.
2.) After you meet each other for some time, both of you should ask yourselves, if you really want it to be love relationship or pure friendship.
3.) Be honest with yourself. Be honest with him as well. There's nothing worse than to lie and in the end suffer because of those lies.
2006-07-19 14:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by mrn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why chat for 3 years and never meet. I would say that this relationship is finished - it ran its course..please don't make arrangements to meet after all this time as it may not be safe. Seems a bit unnatural...
2006-07-19 13:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by Jackie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christ he's done a lot of ground work, you definatley owe him a few shags, arrange to meet him, who knows what he's like in the flesh, it could be the start of a beautiful thing.....enjoy & be happy you've found someone that loves you....
2006-07-19 13:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by ohwiseone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would break it to him nicely and explain my reasoning for not loving him back...moreover..you've never seen each other and in most cases that's dangerous..tell him nicely I love you too but only as a friend
2006-07-19 12:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by imcool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest about how you feel. He'll probably really value you for being honest. All you can do, I think x
2006-07-19 12:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be straight forward with him it will save a lot of trouble and be kinder in the long run
2006-07-19 12:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by tsmith007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what your are telling us. He deserves your honesty.
2006-07-19 12:55:47 · answer #10 · answered by dopeysaurus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋