When gettting a divorce why would the court ask or make you go to a couples retreat why not just divorse us?

Question

My girlfriend is going thru a divorce and she told me that her lawyer was doing her duty and informing her that the court may ask her to or send her to couples retreat with her soon to be ex. I dont understand why?? I went thru a seperation and went thru mediation but was never asked to go to couples retreat!! My understanding is that only reason why a divorcing couple would go would be because they are trying to fix their marrage. So im a little suspecious! My girlfriend and her ex have been seperated for a little over 2 years and we have been together for 8 months going on 9

My girlfriend is going thru a divorce and she told me that her lawyer was doing her duty and informing her that the court may ask her to or send her to couples retreat with her soon to be ex. I dont understand why and i dont think its right. Only way i see it is if "he" is asking for it. From what i know the mediator wont make you do it they can just give you ideas. In this case she has made it well know that she wants it to be over. There are 3 kids involded so i understand the mediation but not the couples retreat. FISHY TO ME!!! I went thru a seperation and went thru mediation but was never asked to go to couples retreat!! My understanding is that only reason why a divorcing couple would go would be because they are trying to fix their marrage. So im suspecious! My girlfriend and her ex have been seperated for a little over 2 years and we have been together for 8 months going on 9

Answer 1

not sure about the Ca angle
as if the divorce is uncontested
there will be no court order ( nor can they do it anyways ) counseling
as one party is seeking disolution and under the law ( in a no fault state like CA ) the judge MUST grant it, he has no choice in manner, when children are brough into the picture then it becomes a contested divorce and he cannot force a family to stay together, at that point all he is making sure of is that alimony, child support and division of assest are fair and equitable ( though it rarely is for men )

Answer 2

I would think that one of the partners has a strong desire to keep the marriage going. If one of the partners feels that with a little help - things could get better - then the court could probably order this. I mean - I know alot of divorced people but I don't know any divorced people except perhaps you who don't have challenges in life as a result of divorce, whether emotional, physical or mental - at least one of the partners having severe challenges. If it were possible or desirable - it would be better to forgive and reconcile than go through the misery of becoming a divorced person in many cases. Be glad that someone is standing up for the relationship. I've heard it said that if someone is considering divorce, they should wait a certain amount of time since over time things many times do get better. But then a separation of 2 years is a long time, there has to be something more going on there where there something has changed between them recently or in one person's life at least. It does seem weird. They could reconcile. They could be talking the possibilities over and she's not telling you everything. Sounds to me like you might just be her back up plan. Alot of women operate like that. That's why sometimes when a man gets married - his old girlfriends hang on even if they get married too - they're making sure they don't close the door on that opportunity in case they might have a chance someday. There are some very unbelievably selfish women out there. Well, Family Life Retreats have saved lots of marriages.

Answer 3

hey
i have heard of attending a counceling class, and having divorce meetings but not a retreat. alot of times the court system is ultimately trying to make it harder for the couple to be divorced! that is the major reason. what state are you in? well try to be cool, remember she is still legally married and should not have started a relationship in the first place, this is time where she needs to be alone to work on those issues, you dont want someone getting with you on the rebound do you? think about it, look up the state, and look under divorce. but if she is willing to get with you while still being married, is this someone you can really trust with your heart in the first place?

Answer 4

I am not sure what state you are in but I do know in California that is true. Just because you ask for a divorce that does not mean the judge will grant it. My lawyer told me the same thing when I went through my divorce. I don't think you have anything to worry about!

Answer 5

Very rarely a judge will ask a couple to see a counselor.
No judge requires a couple to go to a weekend retreat where undoubtedly a pregnancy can result. She is either planning a weekend get away with someone else or her ex. She is gonna cheat or wants to go somewhere that she doesn't want you to be part of...try this...liar liar pants on fire and stop trusting her.
You are being duped...wake up!

Answer 6

Divorce is final and maybe this judge wants them to cover all bases before she puts her stamp on a final decree. Sometimes all we need is a little time to see what we did wrong. After all,there had to be something there in order for them to get married in the first place. If all love is gone, then what's the harm?

Answer 7

To the court, divorce is the last resort. These days too many people get divorced way too often. The court would like one more last attempt made because after the divorce is final, it's FINAL!

Answer 8

It's B.S.. She and her husband are probably still talking and want to give it one more go around...in bed.I have been divorced 2X's, the judge can order counseling in one party asks for it. But, a retreat is extremely expensive and would not be ordered by a judge.
If you believe this story, I got a bridge I'd like to sell you.

Answer 9

"the way he dealt with her" has not something to do with "frustration" or "being a virgin." it really is the way women people and females are dealt with in a patriarchal society, even as women people haven't any properly worth, and are not afforded an similar rights or equivalent remedy. He felt that he had the right to rape that little female...and her father had the right to "marry" to a thirty 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous...understanding finished properly what ought to take position to her. women people and females are property to be "used" because the adult males of their lives see in good structure. it really is a "facet result" of patriarchy...polygamy and aborting women people are also undesirable outcomes of patriarchy. the mum and different women people did not "strive against" for her, because they don't have a say, that that they had be overwhelmed and raped in the experience that they objected, too, a twin of she replaced into. what style of ability have they were given to resign this? What about asking why those adult males experience like that is okay to attempt this? that is thoroughly disgusting. And no, i'm quite particular that 8 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous ladies are not being pressured to marry interior the U.S...are you extreme?

Answer 10

maybe the court feels like the marriage can be fixed and there isisnt grounds for a divorce unless threy cant get through the retreat, she c an porbably appeal it but it depends on their reason for divorcing.