does anybody like my poem?

Question

pride

have you ever seen a black man cry
just becasue someone broke his pride
walking down the street crying
but never stopped the trying
hoping for another day
just so he could make pay
praying to the Lord for peace and salvation
to save him from death and devastation

i have
will you

you have
will i


if you don't like the poem then don't answer. please i love poetry. if you have something to say then please but nice.

yes i thought of that mydelf. just setting one day and it came to me. plus i watched a really sad movie and it made me think.


i love poetry some it just came to me!

Answer 1

Nice poem! So you're into poetry huh? Have you ever tried posting it on www.poetry.com ? I submit poems to that site almost weekly. You can enter in poetry contests to win a nice chunk of change.....if they really like your poems they will offer you a book contract. Plus they hand pick poems every month to be published in books. You should check it out. A good way to get your name out there. If not, keep on writing girl!

Answer 2

You are not asking for feedback, in essence, what you are asking for is just nods of appreciation. My suggestion for you, since you seem to like poetry, is to study modern poetry. Learn your craft. Putting a rhyme at the end of a line is not what poetry is about.

You have a good subject here. What you are doing, however, is TELLING the reader what to feel. That is not poetry. Let the reader discover how to feel. Show them a picture without all the reasons, let them put their emotions into it.

And please, use a spell checker. Words are a poet's only tool. Spell them and choose them carefully. Be prepared to come back and whittle away at them.

If you wanted to bake cakes, you would go to a school; paint pictures and you probably would find at least someone who knew how to mix paints. Go study with someone. Go read some modern poetry: Rilke, William Carlos Williams, even Ginsburg or Bukowski. I am not saying write like them, but at least see what is out there.

Respectfully offered.

Answer 3

That Was actually really good! Now I am only 16 and dont like poetry but you should really consider sharing it with companies. Have you ever thought of sending your peoms in to get published. You are probably better than you think. Good Job!!

Answer 4

The answer is no. I have not "seen a black man cry just because someone broke his pride".

Seriously, It seems that you wrote this from the heart. Good job!

Answer 5

that was an excellent poem, i too write poetry, i especially like the how the poem was written in the aa bb format

Answer 6

You have heart, sensitivity, don't ever lose that.

Life will try to take it away
But from it u must never stray
Remember where it all did start
and keep the peace within your heart

Answer 7

Try writting about something you have more..... connection with. I am not quite sure you could capture a black mans pride being broke, maybe its just me, but yeah maybe try something like....

I am free, like the breeze
I am me, dumb as a tree
Be me please, so I can leave
Be the key, and give me glee.

Answer 8

That's very good, I love poetry too. Post it on www.poetry.com Do you have anymore poems?

Answer 9

Iam into poetry too I think that was wonderful. You should write it down and keep that, that is really nice. :-o)

Answer 10

Its good..

I love poetry..

I'm a poet..

I also like guys who likes poetry!