my baby's daddy has been going on online dating services and females profiles on myspace what should i do?

Question

we live together and i found out recently he has been going on friend finder and others when im not around along with his ex's myspace profile he says theres nothing behind it but im concerned especially since we have a child together. He told me he didnt sign up for it that they just happened to email him a username and password for these dating services ??????? maybe im wrong but that doesnt make sense to me. i've already approached him about it but he told me that it wasnt what i thought and to leave it alone before i ruined our relationship what should i do??????????? please help!!!!

Answer 1

I'm very sorry to say to you that you are being lied upon big time because you only get a user name and a password once you have subscribed yourself for something.
You were right to ask him about it because you have a right to know whether he still loves and respects you for who you are besides that him telling you that it wasn't what you are thinking and to leave it alone before you ruin your relationship is taking the easy way out. He doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and by telling you to leave it alone he is putting the responsibility for what he's doing in your shoes because if you don't accept what he is doing it's your fault if the relationship you both have is damaged and broken. with this he is leaving the broken pieces and the guilt complex on your shoulders and it's a very selfish and irresponsible thing to do.
It's obvious that he has some problem and doesn't want to talk about it with you and he is trying to get his feelings of whatever it is that is bothering him solved by looking for another relationship behind your back.
He knows what he is doing and he doesn't want to get caught so he leis to you about it and now he has started lying he will continue to do so and he will hurt you and bring a lot of worries and stress into your home and this is not good for you and your baby. If this goes on much longer it will slowly take away your self esteem and your trust in other people. You are worried and that's a natural thing to do. There must be so many thoughts running through your mind and the most important one is probarbly what have I done that he doesn't love and respect me anymore the way he used to. Problem is that you haven't done anything to make him do the things he is doing now. He chose not to tell you about what is going on and about what he's feeling and what makes him act the way he does. He made the decision to do the things he is doing now. You didn't tell him or want him to do so. He should know that when you have a loving relationship with someone that you always have to be honest and respectful towards each other and that a loving realtionship is a lot of hard work and that you should always talk to each other in all honesty about what is bothering you or giving you problems aswell as what you like and enjoy about each other especially when there is a child or there are children involved. Raising a child or children is a huge responsibility and maybe that is where the problemis maybe he isn't ready to take that responsibilty and is he trying to flee from it.
What is important is that you try to talk to him and that you try to do this in a very calm way and this will be very difficult because there are a lot of emotions involved and they are causing you pain and grieve but try to talk and if he sticks with his lies and you cannot trust him anymore I think the best thing you can do is tell him to go and take life into your own hands before it's to late and yuo are going under in his lies.
Do you have a close friend that you can trust and that can give you support. It's a good idea to confide in her before you talk to him so that if your conversation with him upsets you to much, you have someone to turn to, that will come over to you and help you get through this. So you know that you will not be alone and that there is someone to help and comfort you.
You are going through a hard time but you have to keep in mind that if he lies to you and you want to live with him telling you lies that you will always feel the pain because of it and lose your self esteem and your trust in others or that you want to take full responsibility for yourself and your baby and take life into your own hands and go on without him and make the best of what you got knowing that maybe some day there will be someone that loves and repects you for the beautiful and wonderful person that you are and who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
I will be thinking of you. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 2

If you are in a commited relationship then he needs to stay out of the single sites with NO excuses. Don't buy what he says.....you are smart enough to figure it out. If he knows he can get by with this imagine what else he will do without you knowning. Tell him that you need a relationship with trust, if not, you are out of the relationship and he will be paying child support. Dont put him on the defensive at first, don't be acusotory at first. Do it in a loving way. But , you can't be a pushover so if he continues to do this you need to stand up for you and your child. You can't spend the rest of your life with a guy how lies to you.
This won't suprise some people but computer things can become addictive. He needs somewhere else to uses his computer time- he needs to replace the bad activicty with an acceptable one.
He needs to live the single sites alone before HE ruins the relationship.
This is a hard lesson for you to learn, but you need to have men in your life who honor a commmited relationship. Learn the lesson now and not when you are 50 years old.
Be strong, don't' let him bully you with his words or attitude.

Answer 3

He's already let you know what your relationship means to him. He's not taking your feelings into consideration at all. He's trying to turn things around on you to make you feel like you're responsible for the future downfall of your relationship. Leave it alone before you ruin our relationship is a sure sign he's in the wrong. Tell him again you don't like it and would appreciate it if he stops. If he doesn't, keep him as a baby daddy and move on.

Answer 4

Darlin, this deal is ending and if I were you I would start getting some money together, get an education, see an attorney or legal aid about setting up some child support and make plans to move out. It takes two people to make a relationship and in this case one is missing. The missing one is lying, looking for what he thinks he wants and it is no longer you. Good luck!

Answer 5

Uh--no, these sites don't just email you usernames,etc..you have to register, make your own user & password in order to get on these sites. Just talk to him about it,but in a mature manner..suggest that he opens an account for you (or you make yourself one) if it isn't after all such a big deal. Most people go on those sites just to chat or have other friends, family that are on them as well. If there's nothing behind these chats then he will have an open mind and let you see (and if he doesn't,than.... you know the rest) Good luck!

Answer 6

Forget it, honey....it is Over! He is not into you and the baby! Move on......and, in the future, keep your legs together until you get your head screwed on right. That is what happens when you 'play' in the adult world. Gather your baby togther and get a life.....one that is meaningful and not focused on a guy!

Answer 7

His excuse sounds like bull to me. Tell him no more myspace or hit the road, this sounds like the beginning of cheating to me. Good Luck!

Answer 8

That's what happens when you have a child out of wedlock. You have no control over him at all. He can do as he pleases because he's not married to you. You can move out or throw him out and that's about it.

Answer 9

wow. that previous comment is strange. does wedlock give you control over someone? the divorce courts say no. anyway, if you have suspicions and evidence...it would be best if you moved on. people who cheat will almost always cheat again. when you find out who someone is, believe them the first time..

Answer 10

Leave him. The only way to get a user name and password is to sign up on your own. He is either cheating on you or is about to cheat on you. He is definitely lying to you.