How can i help my boyfrien get along wit my 3yr old daughter?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and a half. my daughter and i moved in about a year ago. He also has a son he gets him every other week and on wed for 4hrs. At first everything was fine till i started seeing him treat my daughter difrently. At times he doesnt realize that they both did somethimg wrong together therfor they should both get punished. he sometimes just yells at my daughter. he also is distant at times. But i have to admit he is a great person and he trys hard to be there for us but at times i rather not have him around.

Answer 1

If you want to save yourself years of pain do not continue the relationship.It will not get any better.If he is treating her different now it will not change.If you feel in your heart he is not treating her the way he should what do you think will happen when your not there?Why does he only get his son for 4 hrs? I know it's hard but you have to think of your daughter.Good Luck

Answer 2

nicely for starters all this adhd stuff is nonsense, shes a three year previous little lady, adhd won't be able to correct be known in a newborn till around the age of 6. I genuinely have a 5 365 days previous son and that i've got been in a matching challenge as you. i'm separated from my sons father and it took an prolonged time yet now we genuinely artwork jointly to regulate my sons behaviour. i do no longer think of slicing her time along with her daddy will help the region, i think of you and her dad could desire to take a seat without Ur daughter or everyone else being there and communicate the final form of discipline, some thing u the two agree on and are keen to adhere too, bear in mind Ur the adults right here. attempt employing a celebrity chart, if she behaves in an afternoon supply her a celebrity, if she would be able to be waiting to get 4 stars a week supply her a cope with, and artwork on it till optimistically she would be able to get as many stars as poss, provides her some thing to look forward too. yet bear in mind she is only 3, shes studying and becoming and issues gets extra desirable if u all artwork jointly. sturdy success

Answer 3

I'd first sit down and talk with him and if he responds favorably an d you see positive changes then I'd be happy for you BUT No1 he shouldn't be yelling at your daughter or any child esp if he does it all the time No 2 it is not good that he picks your daughter for punishment for shows he cars for his son more than your daughter and that reflects a bad trait of his character and I see trouble ahead. If he reponds favoraably when you talk devise a Behaviour Management Plan-can get books from Library and the reference Librarian will help you find. that you post on a wal for the children that list behaviours and consequences_I'm sure you know the behaviors exhibited by BOTH children by now and the ones you don't want you discipline according to this plan that has as heading Home Behaviour Rules so no child can be favored over the other or singled out for punishment if it is followed correctly. You can also have a timeout chair or chairs-OK to put their names on it so when they for instance have temper tantrums(typical of this age group) and don't stop after 1 remindr thy spend time in their respective chairs until quiet(no longer for this is not supposed to be punishment but tool for child to leaarn control) and of course they say they are sorry .The fact that he is distant with your daughter is bothersome and should be a red flag for you for one can't demand or dictate feeling. To a cild this distance is often worse than being disciplined for its witholding love that a child needs and as she get older she will begin to (If she isn't already) question whats wrong with her that he....If these peoblems continue you can go so far as to suggest or insist on Family counseling and its offered Sat. or after hours for they therapists know people work, If he is unwilling to get help or admit that he has a problem then your daughter will suffer and then so will your relationship for you'll resent him.Since you already state theres times you like it better when hes not there you probably already do-rightly so. Were he really a great person he wouldn't withold affection from a 3yr old child. Seems to me he lacks affection and love for your daughter which you can't make him have and that alone doesn't make him bad but him acting on his lack of feelings by shunning her and very obviously putting his son over her tells of serious lack of character.Don't allow this to happen to your daughter for she will end up having serious identity and low self esteem issues that can possibly scar her for life. You as her mother may have to make a decision and ther should't be a choice for your loyalty belongs to your daughter who has no one else. I hope he changes and if he doesn't then I hope you'll make a life for yourself and your daughter without him. . .I'll say a prayer that God give you resolve and watch over you and your daughter always.

Answer 4

You already know what needs doing. Follow your instincts. Thats why we have them. Dont look for an excuse that this bloke or his child are more important than yours. You know that you love your daughter too much to do this. Men are notoriously bad parents anyway, so you and yours move out and consider moving back together when the kids are older.

Answer 5

Well three year olds can be a pain in the butt sometimes. They all have there moments. I guess you could try and get him to spend some time with her. Play with her and be around her. You could also try to talk to him about thats shes three and all three year olds can be hard to get along with. Maybe you, ur boyfriend, his son, and your daughter could all go out and do something fun for all of you.

Answer 6

Boy this is a difficult one. It takes time for blended families to adjust to each other, but only you know if it gets abusive. According to the research, it takes a blended family 4 years to adjust to each other! You as the mother will know when it isn't good. Be sure to confront it too, if you don't like how it's going down, better to do it not in front of the kids.
Try to talk about it when they aren't around, or at a quiet time, maybe in the form of questions, not accusing. Try to not start with "you" this or "you" that, but instead "I feel like this is happening" "I fee" this or that, this way you aren't pointing a finger at him.

Answer 7

You know the answer to this hon, before you asked the question. Your little girl comes FIRST; thats all the time! Believe me, he is NOT a great person. Would you leave him alone with your daughter for three or four hours......he's gotta go, hon, and the sooner, the better for you and your babe, If he is iffy now, image in the situation in 12 months time.....

Answer 8

Is he a great person if he treats your daughter differently than his son? Is he a great person if he yells at a three year old?

Your feeling that you would rather not have him around could possibly be your materal instincts reminding you that you should never ever ever teach your child that you will sacrifice her welfare to your relationship. You are teaching her how important she is. You are teaching her how a man should be allowed to treat her. How loving is a man who mistreats his girlfriend child? Ugh.

Also, you might consider that children are much more at risk from abuse, sexual, verbal, physical, when they live with their mom's boyfriend than with their mom's husband. Jeepers, lady, you're breaking my heart.

Answer 9

If he can't start treating your daughter equally get out of the relationship now. It will only get worse as the years go on.

Answer 10

Well I have seen this happen with my brothers past 2 gfs. He is the same way and I dont think he will ever change unless someone lays it out in front of him, so maybe being honest with him about how you feel is gonna be your best bet.