My best friend is being bullied at work is there any advice anyone can give so she can handle the situation?

Question

My best friend as been at her job for 3 months and 2 weeks after she started her boss started bulling her, she has reported her for not going in early on short notice, bitched about her, she has been so horrible that she has made her cry, she has threatened to start rumours about her and is always shouting at her

so any advice would much appreciated.

Well that is exellent advice, my best mate has tried to confront her boss and by the way her boss is female. As an update she came home in a foul mood, because she has been fitting recently because of the weather her boss iss threatening to fire her because of her illness is that correct that if she is indeed get my friend fired because of an illness, she dosent want to be signed off sick she likes working, what can she do?

Answer 1

(1) keep a detailed diary and collect evidence (emails, etc)

(2) keep it dispassionate. When writing in diary, making complaints, whatever, keep the emotion as far out of it as possible. That doesn't mean you can't state what the emotions are or were - you SHOULD do that - but you should not make those statements in an emotional way. For example, the diary should not say "that effing b, she's such a c, i hate hate hate her". It should say "today she did X and I felt Y". Likewise any letters or discussions. Seriously, this is a very useful thing to try to do. If that means having a support person nearby to help in face to face discussions, have that. The procedures should permit that.

(3) get a copy of The Rules and follow them to the letter. By this I mean the company's HR policies and procedures. When the time comes to take formal steps, make sure that the formal steps laid out in there are followed by her to the letter. If the "other side" doesn't follow those steps, note that in the diary and keep the evidence.

(4) follow the informal steps for getting a consensus or diplomatic solution worked out, as best you can, before considering doing anything that is effectively conflict.

(5) But if the time comes to fight, go fight.

What YOU should do: stick right with her like you are doing. She needs you in this; you are her strength.

My mother had a dodgy boss for a while - his sin was sexual harrassment. She and a colleague dealt with this carefully and sensibly and when they finally took the necessary action, the reaction from higher up was so decisive that they clearly won on the first battle. The guy basically got half an hour to clear his desk. Now I'd say that bullying, although a truly dreadful thing to do to someone, is more amenable to a less drastic solution, so whatever the answer is may take longer coming. But the way to fight it is the same. Good luck!

Answer 2

My sis, in her job for about 3 months as well, was being bullied by a colleague - she eventually confronted her to ask why she was behaving like that. Turns out the colleague thought my sister had done something she hadn't and the 'bully' apologised. Your friend should speak to her boss ie try to have a civilised conversation. Sometimes a polite confrontation can catch the bully on the back foot. She needs to ask her boss whether she has a problem and if so, what, and how can it be resolved. Your friend needs to be firm and pleasant, and not cry as that will show weakness. Cry later in the loos, if need be!

If that doesn't work, she needs to go above her boss. This has to be nipped in the bud now before bully's sense of power and nastiness starts influencing others. She should also record examples of when the bullying happens and what is said/done at the time.

Answer 3

The answer may depend upon the company & company politics & the local employment laws & whether you have a union that could back you. Has anyone else been victim to this person. Is this a case of a serial bully. If so this type of person is very cunning & if you try to raise complaints will muddy the waters with your behaviour & make it seem like it is a personality thing!

It can be every diffcult to tackle the boss even when you are in the right. Managers often support managers but don't forget the organisational politics. I suppose one thing for one's own sense of self-worth is to stand up to the bullying & confront it. Keep a full set of notes of each & every incident.

What is the status of the boss in the organisation? What is the boss's relationship with others like? Who might your allies be?

I stood up to a bully. It did solve the symptoms but the organisation never acknowleged it because bullying is "gross misconduct" & you can be dismissed straight away.

Being bullied will grind you down so you must must must tackle it but that carries some risks or you might move on to something better - another role or another company, bit drastic but...

Answer 4

It is evident that your best friend's boss is campaigning to have her quit. The initial two-week grace from bullying has me a bit interested. First, I would like to have you do some fact-finding:

Is there a possibility of a sexual attraction that may have been rebuffed, at least on an unconscious level?

What happened to the last employee in the same position?

Is it possible that your friend is percieved as incompetant?
(How did she do at her last job?)

What is the relationship between your friend's boss and the parent company (owners/family members/upper management)

Does your friend's boss appear to have a close relationship with another employee in the same office?

Is it possible that your friend's boss has a history of mental illness, that may have cropped up as some ugly office episodes in the past?

Threatening to start rumors is an interesting attack. Is it possible your friend's boss has a daughter her age that is fighting with her, or having emotional or drug-related problems?

Let me explain. If quitting were an option, you wouldn't be asking this question. Your friend might as well learn now as later that the workplace sometimes can be a very tough and trecherous environment. In any event, knowledge is power. I am certain a bit of fact-finding will help balance the playing field.

Don't forget that Jesus commands us to pray for our enemies. I don't know how it works, but I know that it does. Still, take care of the above while praying. Good luck and God bless you!

Answer 5

Having worked in retail for over 13 years, this is not uncommon.
Documentation is good, but won't get you any where.
You tell his boss, then you went from facing a snarling dog to a ravenous wolf.
Bosses stick up for bosses and there is no way around it.
My in-laws sued their former employer, she did receive the back pay, but, lost the case on harassment.
She paid the court fees, lawyers fees and has $600 dollars to show for her 10 years of documentation.
1 last thing, she went there looking for the job, she was hired, things are not working out.
Go find a job that will work out. It is not worth the stress for what you have to put up with.

Answer 6

This kind of bullying make me sick to even think about it. Your friend boss wants to be ashamed of herself for carrying on in the wirk place like this. It's totally wrong and your friend needs to nip this in the bud now. Firstly she should try to confront her boss and explain how she has been feeling, if that doesn't work then she needs to take the matter further and go above her bosses head. I prefer the former though as it can avoid trick issues created with the latter. in any case, it can't go on.
All that will happen if she doesn't get it resolved is that your friend will reach boiling point and end up leaving her job with shear frustration. Hope all works out well for her.

Clive

http://www.dominospizza-franchise.com

Answer 7

Get your friend to make a diary and take notes of this..preferably with a signature from soneone who witnessed it. Tell her to wait until she has a few pices of evidence and then get her to email this bully and explain her problem in detail. An email is legal evidence now. If she gets a reply thats bad its also evidence. If this bully is playing clever then she needs to ask for a meeting to discuss the problem but she also needs to take a relaiable independent witness. If she is in a union its best if they are the witness. If all is denied she still has the diary with signatures from witnesses so she can get the unions advice, go to citizens advice bureau, or leave and sue for constructive dismissal. She just needs to make sure that she hasn't exagerrated or been over-sensitive..

Answer 8

If this newborn hits him, i could be susceptible to enable him hit back. despite if he comes of worse interior the come upon, bullies do no longer want to flavor their very own drugs and it could be self-defence. it could desire to end the bullying at source, yet in all possibility no longer for different infants interior the college. on the comparable time i could save on on the college approximately this bully (he needs help only as his sufferers do) and that i could make an appointment to be sure the top instructor approximately it in man or woman particularly than do it with the aid of e mail which isn't getting you plenty exhilaration on the 2nd. The bully must be stopped and your newborn should not be intimidated on the bus domicile from college the two (can the bus corporation help possibly?). The extra adults who've a circulate at this bully the less probably he's to maintain on bullying - however the college could desire to get his mum and dad to return to the college to be sure what could be carried out approximately it. the mother and dad could be completely blind to what's occurring with their son. If various everyone seems to be complaining to them approximately their son, they could be susceptible to end him doing what he's doing.

Answer 9

Documentation is the key. There is no room for verbal abuse in the workplace. She needs to keep notes on all that is happening, sooner or later she is going to have a case that she can bring against not only her boss but possibly the company also.

Answer 10

Either make a list of specifc incidents and start a grievance, or if she cant face up to this, ask for a transfer to another department.

If this is impossible then looking for another job may be the only answer.