Ok so...my Husband and I are having a lot of problems, Iike I mentioned earlier we don't have sex anymore because of our prblems. I would love to have sex its he who feels like we fight to much so he doesn't want to have sex...or isn't in the mood for it. We are workin on our fighting, but there is one thing I can't get over...so when I was away he was talking to escort service girls on the phone...I caught it on the phone bill over the net wile I was away, he admits it and says it was wrong etc...we are really tryin to work things out...but im soo curious to know what could they possibly talked about..or what happens when you clal these services do you just basically have phone sex? Can someone help fix my curious mind cause I sure as heck dont' wanta bring this up again with him.
2006-07-19 11:40:02 · 10 answers · asked by Confused4life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh its sooo cheating. he was talking with ANOTHER GIRL on the phone and talking about sex. dont tell me thats not cheating. he is not doing that with you so he is cheating on you. and he just blows it off like it was not big deal?!?!?!?!?!?
id kick him where it hurt becus of that.
listen girl. if he talks to other girls about sex then that means he really wants some. he is horny and he is lookin for some. so you better be carful cus he might go out and have sex with soemone if he aint doin it with you.
so have a talk with him. even if it bothers him that your bringing this up again. tell him you are still pondering about it and cant stop thinking of it and you want to be relaxed around him.
listen to me. befor you two go to bed, lay by each others side and look into each other's eyes and have a conversation. dont just turn your backs on each other. look at eachother and talk befor going to bed. your problems wont be resolved the first night. but over time this will help. its like therapy without paying lots of money. so do this every night. talk about things other then your problems. tell him how your day was and ask him how his was and what you two are going to do tomorrow. then over some time you will feel confortable talking a little bit of your probelms. you need to come to a conclusion on your problems cus if not then you two will never get along again. dont let this pass by without doing something.
first step:
at night, lay next to eachother and have small conversations about life and your daily activities.
forgive him for cheating on you over the phone. that was a mistake he made, im sure. becus he wanted someone to talk to about sex. its something very special to a man. they cant go on without it. so just understand he was stressed out and wanted some confort.
but from now on dont let a day go by without having special talks befor going to bed. beleive me it works.
god bless your marriage.
2006-07-19 12:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by All4Christ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not literally cheating but it is wrong. Have you tried counseling. It is not for everyone but it does help many that attend. If you still love him and want to keep him than I say go for it. Everyone gets divorced too easy now days. Marriages are not easy. You have to work at it to make it work. Too many people get divorced at the drop of a dime because it's not what they thought it would be. Your husband admits he did wrong but you wonder if he did it once will he do it again. That's the million dollar question. Many people do things like this when their marriages are shaky. They need someone to talk to as is with the case of your husband. You talk to him. Maybe you could be on the other end of the phone and have some fun to maybe spice things up a little. I don't know what you want to do. I could tell you many things but I don't know your situation. Good luck.
2006-07-19 19:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by IngeborgDot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here goes. From 4 long years of experience. It's wrong and it is considered cheating (emotionally). That is a very sensitive area for most all women. We want are men to be in tune with us emotionally and if we don't have that then we feel inadequate and it makes us feel as if we are doing something wrong. In some cases it can start generally as pornographic material then it moves into talking on the Internet to other women, then it changes directions to dating/escort service chat lines. Then the ultimate thing, the actually "MEETING THE OTHER WOMEN". The mind wonders and if given the right tools it can go astray and bad things can happen. I'm not sure how long you guys have been married, but if he's not interested in making love, then something is VERY wrong. He is totally in the wrong. My advice and I give this advice very lightly. Evaluate the situation because it is a delicate one. If he gets angry then he's doing something and honestly it's gonna hurt. If the situation doesn not change then he's totally commited to what he's doing and he does not care about you. If you find that, that's the case then it's time to move on. Sorry for your hurt, but it's inevitable. You will have to move on, just don't wait as long as I did and keep turning your head because it made it that much harder to let go. :(
2006-07-19 19:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Define "cheating". In the Biblical sense (if that matters to you) the answer is no. That requires intercourse.
The real question is, how possessive are you? How much of him do you feel you own? How many rights does your troubled marriage give you? Answer those questions, and you answer your own.
2006-07-19 18:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would guess its a phone sex thing and yes i would see it as cheating.
2006-07-19 19:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! If you are doing something behind your partners back that you wouldn't do with your partner present then "yes" I would say that is cheating!
2006-07-19 19:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think it was cheating if my husband did it, so yes! He was having intimate moments with someone besides you. Even though they didn't touch.
2006-07-19 18:45:29 · answer #7 · answered by amandameibeyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rule of cheating: if it's something that he needs to do behind your back, then it's cheating and lying, and yes he has phonesex with them. Don't be naive.
2006-07-19 19:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my rule of thumb for cheating is if i am uncomfortable discussing it with my husband then it is cheating and if he was uncomfortable telling u in detail what they said to each other - then yes it is cheating
2006-07-19 18:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES
2006-07-19 23:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by kamart1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋