I am now so very confused.?

Question

I am starting to have doubts about the SRS operation I had had. I know this doesn't normally happen, but I am not sure if I made the right choice, becoming a girl. Lately, several mornings when I get dressed and ready to go to work, I look at myself in the mirror and can't really recognize myself, and sometimes, even feel kind of guilty. (I know that sounds weird.) Is this hormones or what?? What can I do??

Thank you MoonShadow,
Yours and a few others are the only thoughtful intelligent answers thus far. Bless you and
to the bigots and bible-thumpers,
you know what YOU can do!!

Answer 1

Maybe you need to go on a trip. Go to an area that is accepting of special people. There is a chance you might find Mr. Right, who will find you to be quite lovely.
But, always live by honesty and perseverance, not doubt.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be surprised if it was hormones, nor would I be surprised if this is just a period of readjustment. What you did was life changing. Everything you see and do now is being viewed from a different perspective. Is it so surprising that you feel as though you're looking through different eyes at someone you don't know? I think, without really having the details, that the best thing you could do right now is seek out someone who could work through these feelings with you. As Brenda said, not a Christian counselor or anyone else with an agenda. You need a friend. Stay true to your dream. You're on the path, you're just in a difficult spot for now.

Answer 3

This is a lousy forum to ask such an important question. You should be talking to your therapist, and not reading trash from homophobes, transphobes, and bible thumpers. First if you followed the Harry Benjamen rules, we know you're truly a women. Many times we cut our estrogen dosage to much, or not enough. Also if we are hassled in work this can add more emotional trauma. I had my surgery three years ago. If you would like to converse you may contact me on my 360. My partner also had her SRS just three months before myself. We have helped many girls through their transition.
Love,
Tammi Dee

Answer 4

This is far too serious a question to be realistically answered here. I'm NOT a Bible thumper, and I'm not out to condem you for making your decision. I myself am a Transsexual who has had the "SRS" (Sexual Reassignment Surgery, for those of you who aren't hep to the terminology) done. There could be many reasons why you are feeling this way. I will ask some questions for you to think about, but I'd srtongly recommend that you see your Gender Therapist ultimately.
Here are some questions that need to be answered by you:...

1) Have you been put back on feminine hormone therapy since your surgery?
That is to say, are you now taking a lower daily dosage of Estrogen and Progesterone than you were before your operation? If not, you need to do that immediately. You are going into a menopauseal reaction. Your body has become accustom to the high dosages of feminine hormones that you were taking during your initial hormone replacement therapy before you had your operation.

2) Did you ever go through a long term series of therapy with a Therapist that specializes in Gender Dysphoria?
I know this might be a stupid question, but at the outside chance that you were a "Do It Yourselfer" who....:
a) never saw a Gender Therapist at all -or- one over a time span of say 2 years before your getting your operation,
b) never spent at least a year living full time (24/7) as a female as in a Real Life Test "RLT",
c) or did the self-medicated hormone replacement therapy plan and don't have (or ever did have) an Endocronologist or other qualified Medical Doctor that has evaluated your hormone chemistry,
d) and because of not having a Therapist and MD certification to approve you for Sexual Reassignment Surgery you had your surgery done outside of the US or Canada where pre-surgical requirements don't exist,
.....you might indeed be having second thioughts and need to see a Gender Therapist or Psychyatrist PRONTO to help you through any emotional difficulties at this time.

3) If you did do the long term Therapist thing before getting your operation but fed her all the "coached" right answers she needed to hear, and did a modified "in the closet" long term time span of living as a female at home only and not out in the general public, you need to go back to the Gender Therapist PRONTO and come clean about your feelings.
NOT ALL IS LOST hon, but there are necessary emotional adjustments and realistic expectations that you need to come to grasps with about yourself. Your Therapist can help you go through these much needed things.

4) I would NOT recommend that you try and go to some kind of Christian Threapist or Christian Ministry counceling about your sex change condition or to try to have them deal with any religious guilt issues, because as far as I'm concerned, they're all a bunch of HOGWASH and they should be sued for malpractice. STAY AWAY FROM THAT KIND OF CRAP.

Lastly, if you are unsure of where to locate a local LSW Therapist (Licensed Social Worker Therapist) who specializes in Gender Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder "GID", start by looking in the Yellow Pages in the Physicians Section. Their hourly costs are much less than that of a Psychyatrist who specializes in the same fields. If the Therapist feels that you need more intense therapy they will direct you to an approopriate Psychyatrist.
Keep in mind that the costs for such therapy can be paid for by your medical insurance policy and that you should first check and see who is in their plan.

Answer 5

I had seen a thing on TV about people getting these operations. Most of them went through the same thing youre going through right now. Soon youll know whether or not youve made the right decision. You just have to "adjust" I suppose into your new self. Once you can get used to looking at your new beautiful self in the mirror youll know you made the right decision :p

Answer 6

I think it's ok to be having doubts/thinking about these kinds of things.

If you have a therapist, I would call and see if you can't get in to see him/her very soon to discuss all of these things.

Maybe also try looking for a support group in your area. Others that have been through the same thing might be able to shed some light. Just give yourself some time.

Answer 7

Hun, we all have doubts about things. You made a life changing decision (literally)....You need to talk to your therapist about what you are going through. Maybe it is normal....maybe they just need to adjust your medication. I don't know, but they sure would. If you do not feel they are helping you, find someone else. And for God sake don't listen to the idiot bible thumpers that are telling you that you are being punished.

Answer 8

I think you have the right to think twice about things. You have made a change that completely changes who you ever were. You will never be the man you were before born with the parts you were born with.... some deep stuff if you think about it,,,,, so I think you have that right to think about it now. Maybe it would be a good idea to find others who have gone through this as well and speak with them.

If it does not help you,, maybe speaking with a specialist about it could. Your a lady now,,, :-) You have the right to bi*ch a little more too! Good lucky on all your future endeavors baby girl!!

Answer 9

You should seek out a counselor who is experienced in dealing with such emotions, as I'm sure getting SRS is an incredibly emotional event and I bet it can lead to a bit of an identity crises. Go to your local GLBT center, they should have people there you can talk to, people who understand. I'm sure it's not uncommon to feel this way after something so life changing. And yes, it could be hormones.

Answer 10

well it's too late now...I think that hormones could well be playing a role in this....it's a dramatic change for you....Do you know any others or any groups of the same...could you talk to them...I'm a GWM and I'm not going to tell you how all this feels for you because I just don't know....My advice is to get some help. Lots of us GLBT'er care about you. But maybe someone a little closer to your situation could help you more. good luck.