Do I try to take her back or not?

Question

2 weeks ago we slept togeather the night before. Got up early in the morning and played with our 18m old son, made plans for the day after I got off work, made dinner plans and as I was leaving she told me that I was the best thing that ever came into her life. I thanked her and kissed her and told her how special she was. When I got home 4 hrs later I found her engagement ring, her phone, and a note telling me that the vehicle that I bought her would be back in a couple of days. As I looked around our home all of her things are still there. Even her shoes which are still setting in the same place as the night before where she took them off. All she took was her toothbrush and our son. 4 days later i find her with her x-husband, who by the way abused her in the past, and now when I ask why all I get is "I don't know" I love you. I told her that we need to meet so that I can get some closeur and she said ok. Do I take her back? What do I do?

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like she wants to be back.

Answer 2

Sorry, but you don't want to do that. She has to want to come back, your insisting will only make things more strenuous between the two of you. She evidently had not gotten over her ex and he knew this, so, it wasn't hard for him to get her back. She was sneaking to be with him before this occurred, trust me. So, you won't be able to trust her, or look for any loyalty after this incident. Just try to get through the pain and go on with your life, because she will string you along as long as you let her. Believe me, she will be trying to get back to you within a month or two of being with her ex. Those guys can only hold off the abuse so long, and things are just like they were before the separation. The question should be, are you ready to take her back after going off like this without any warning. What's to say she won't try it again. It's your choice, and it's going to hurt you either way.

Answer 3

Does she want to come back? The whole "best thing that ever came into her life" line sounds like closure to me. She was trying to make you feel better about yourself because she knew what she was about to do to you.
People make mistakes, are you a forgiving type person? She will probably only come back when it doesn't work out the way she hopped it would with the X. At that point you won't be the man she loves, you will be her only option. If you're comfortable with that open arms brother, open arms.

Answer 4

Only reason you're askin this question is because you already know in your heart the answer is no. Nobody can tell you to give it another go justifiably. You need to let this woman-child, seek custody of your child, and get on with your life. Conventional wisdom says:
Where theres smoke, there must be a fire or a smoker. Either way you dont wanna be in the area of smoke, and she is sending you big huge gigantic smoke signals.

Answer 5

Wow, am sorry this is happening to you.

I don't know if you should take her back or not. But I do know that you should not take her back right now. She needs to figure some stuff out. You don't need to be strung along while she "fixes" herself.

I'd give her space and time. In the meantime you have your life to live and a child to take care of who doesn't care that mommy and daddy are having troubles. All he cares about is being loved. Just be there for him and let her do as she will. You can't fix her, and you'll just disappoint yourself trying.

Answer 6

She needs to go to a shrink.
People who get abused in any relationship are confused. You probably want her back? But she's not ready. She needs to find herself first be4 she makes a decision on who she wants to be with.
When a person is abused in any way they feel as if they don't deserve a good person in their life. They will feel as they deserve to be abused.
The self esteem is shattered for anyone who is abused. It will take a long time for someone to understand that no one deserves to be abused.
Take back your son. Don't let him get abused. Your son is your main concern right now.
Let her find answers. and if you truly love her. be there for her. make sure she goes to the shrink. unless she understands that she does not deserve to be abused. when her thoughts about her self esteem increases. she will not be able to make a choice.

My husband stood by me and supported me. I thought i didn't deserve him. but he made me believe I was wrong.
People do deserve to be loved, but first we have to love ourselves.

TAKE BACK YOUR SON, BEING WITH A ABUSER HE IS LIKELY TO BECOME ONE TOO. TAKE BACK YOUR SON. PROTECT HIM.

Answer 7

try every legal means to get the child out of that relationship. He may very well be in danger. Forget about her. She has bigger problems than you can solve.

I just checked out your profile. I'm not sure you are on the level about this.

Answer 8

I don't think you should. She already spit in your face and on the marriage. She turned her back on you and left you without mercy for your feelings or your child's future. Fight for custody of your child and remove her from your life. You deserve someone who loves you back.

Answer 9

that's a hard one..it would be awful hard for me to trust her.. you are going to have to sit down and really talk this out...she really could be sorry for what she did, i could if i felt if she was real sorry...but if it happened again ..no way in he** i would and i would try my hardest to get custody of the child...especially if he is abusive to her..it will progress to the child i wish the best of luck

Answer 10

I don't think so. She obviously does not have closure when it comes to her ex. You can't be dangling in the wind waiting for her to decide YOUR future. Let her go.

Answer 11

thats crazy, how could she even do that to you, she has a lot of nerve to even do that, my hubby done that to me three times i took him back everytime, and were still together, and were doing great, i think we understand each other more then ever.