I don't talk to people when I am in public. I have things to say but I feel stupid when I speak up. For this reason I have very few friends. Can some one plz give me some advice?
2006-07-19 10:14:51 · 13 answers · asked by aprillillie 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
SA:
When I was young I was extremely shy. I would literally shake if I had to talk to someone I didn't know.
Try this - when you enter a room, or a group of people, always say something first - even if it's just a hello. It will make you feel like you are more in control. It also psychologically makes room in the group for you because they have to speak back.
Then learn to be a good listener - chime in when you can contribute something meaningful - otherwise just say encouraging or agreeable things to stay in the flow.
You are most likely not saying stupid things, and should not feel remorse even if you do. Just learn from the group dynamics and keep improving your self image.
That shy kid from years ago (me) is now the Director of Human Resources for a Fortune level company.
2006-07-19 10:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by Tim B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you already have no friends, then there is nothing to lose by speaking up, right? You are a unique person with every right to your own opinions and thoughts. You are cheating the world out of knowing you by keeping quiet. Online is a good place to practice speaking your mind and expressing your interests. You can gradually move your skills into the public sphere. Try starting out by smiling at people. Smile at 3 people everyday. Then, move to the next step and smile and say "hello." Try chatting with the person next to you while standing in line, even if you just say, "Hot day, isn't it?"
If you look like you are open, people will often talk with you. It may seem like it, but this is not a hopeless problem. Stretch yourself every day. Another "trick" is to think about the what the other person is feeling -- shy as well, bored, lonely, tired, needy, grumpy -- and not focus on your own fear. Hope this helps. Good luck!
2006-07-19 10:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by Peace Pup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some confidence. Really just watch what other people do. Maybe they say stupid things but it doesn't matter. You are afraid people will judge or criticize you. You have to realize it doesn't matter what they think. You have to practise talking to people just to get in the habit. I used to be like you but over the years I lost it by not caring what anyone thinks. I could walk into a room full of people and have them all laugh at me and be able to brush it off!!! Good luck - get brave - you'll have more fun!
2006-07-19 10:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, if you think about it, being shy is a bit vain. After all, what makes you so certain that everyone is worried or concerned about what you have to say? What makes you so important:?
I used to be shy myself but I realized this and it has helped. Also, you have to stop caring so much what everyone else thinks. People enjoy being around others who have an opinions that they are proud of.
2006-07-19 10:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lyn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice, that's all I can tell you. If you want to make friends you have to start talking to people at some point. You can do this in small steps, improve your relationship and communications with others little by little every day. If people don't know anything about you how can they like you?
2006-07-19 10:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on your self confidence. Practice saying what you want to say, and just see what happens. Start practicing with the grocery store clerk, or the person in the drive through, ask them how they are doing. Once you get practice speaking to people you don't know you'll feel better. Just say what it is that you want to say and trust that it is who you are and be 'ok' with it.
Good luck!
2006-07-19 10:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by Fivens 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
words of advice: if you never stand up to be heard, people will shy away because they don't know you but when you do, they know where you stand and appreciate you more. i was shy up to the age of 21 to 22 and found out that all people can do is one of 3 things: agree with you, disagree with you or agree to disagree with you.
2006-07-19 10:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by housepad1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
small talk does wonders...don't worry too much with the consequences. Chill more with your friends...Don't potenially over step boundaries when another person might seek you interesting to talk to
i still have my troubles with society/thoughts LOL...shame
Find it odd to talk to strangers about what's interesting with them
2006-07-19 10:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by Introverted White Waves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way. You just have to start conversations like 'wow, nice hat' or 'nice tie!'
2006-07-19 10:20:08 · answer #9 · answered by Ana Semphrey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be a mood disorder i used to have one but with support yull get over it
2006-07-19 10:18:27 · answer #10 · answered by Kelsey _ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋