Well he cheated on me a year ago. This is before we moved in with eachother. At the time we were together a year and 9 months. I had no idea! Well about 6 months ago I heard he was cheating but didn't believe it! Well the day before yesterday I found out that he did cheat. He promises on everything that it was only once, and he actually left her house w/out saying anything because he felt so bad! I do love him and it does suck that he cheated, and it hurts so much! The twist of it all is I'm PREGNANT and have no clue what I should do. Should I leave or stay and try and work it out?
2006-07-19 10:11:45 · 18 answers · asked by HeaRTbRoKeN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He said he cheated because he thought I was cheating and he didn't want to feel he was getting played! I found out after I asked him over and over again. Finally two days ago he told me what happened!
2006-07-19 11:14:38 · update #1
"he actually left her house w/out saying anything because he felt so bad!"
Seriously, if he felt so bad, why didn't he STOP himself 5 minutes before this? You're trying to throw him a crumb of decency, but it ain't sticking. How did you find out? Did he tell you?
I think you should do what you feel is right for you. Why did he cheat? That would factor into my decision to stay or leave. And whether he told you or not also factors into his ability to be honest with you.
How do you know that he hasn't cheated since? If you heard rumors 6 months ago, maybe there are other women. Obviously he wasn't honest with you at the time, so his 'word' that it only happened once isn't worth too much.
Don't make any rash decisions. Think it through carefully and trust your instincts on whether you can trust him or not. It sucks to find out NOW when you're already pregnant. Try not to get too emotional... your emotions affect your baby's too and you want your baby to have a very calm, peaceful and stable environment inside of you.
I hope it works out for you.
2006-07-19 10:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by lily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As the saying goes "once a cheater always a cheater." It will be hard to trust him now that you know he has cheated.
Being pregnant does throw into the problem another equation. At least you found out about him before you married him. I say leave. If later down the line you work things out, fine, but not right now. The emotional stress isn't healthy for you or the baby.
My sister had the same problem. Her son is now almost 14 and his father is just now starting to come around after 15 years (he ditched when she got pregnant). People grow up and change, maybe your boyfriend will too. BUT... don't sit around waiting for it to happen. You have an entire life + one to worry about other than a man who can't keep his pants on outside your bedroom.
2006-07-19 10:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by aprilc232 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For 1 don't stress over this man because u are pregnant
For 2. u don't have to be with him because u are pregnat by him
For 3. u have to know u are better than to keep being with somebody and they are cheating on u if he did i once he gone do it again and as u can see he did it again and u don't know how many more time he have already did it. so u need to really think about this and if u stay with him he gon keep cheating he say he fault bad but if he felt that bad he would no have been there from the start
2006-07-19 10:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by poohbearbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE cheated it's all over with if he knows that what he did is messed up then let the child have a father that you both love give him another chance at least for the child but whatever you do don't make a choice really quick or you might make the wrong one.
2006-07-19 10:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend just leave him!! If he is cheating then he obviously dont want you. Plus whoever he is cheating with may have an STD and you dont want to catch that. Trust and believe you dont need to go through that! Life is already hard and you dont people like that in your life to make it more difficult. One thing you should know not to do is believe: Baby, I love you, I wont do it again, I wanna marry you, give me another chance, or any of that crap!! Basically find someone who wont cheat and who loves you unconditionally!!
2006-07-19 10:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by Too hot 4 ya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is his reaction to the pregnancy...my bf cheated and i didn't find out for 5 months, but he was drunk so i guess it might be different...i dunno though, hes also done some things since that wasn't cheating but rather questionable behavior. we are taking a break right now to see if its worth staying together, but he also feels really bad for all that he did. he cries, and talks alot about our future? if you think he can change, maybe give him a chance, but it will hurt you AND your baby if you stay with him and he ends up being a dick and hurting you again...its hard- i know
2006-07-19 10:43:41 · answer #6 · answered by sugar56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel that you want to work it out like not for your kid but for yourself do so hes human and we make mistakes yeah thats a big mistake but hey .
and if you feel that this is going to affect not only you but your child and everything for as long as you guys are together then yeah leave
dont stay because of your child because in the end who ends up suffering the most ?
be wise while you think about this one
2006-07-19 10:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hm. since your pregnant, I'd say that you should try and work it out. you're gonna need help with the baby and a baby needs a father.
just make sure that he knows how hurt you are.
And realize that you will never really forgive him for it. if you don't think you'll be able to deal with the recurring painfull memory of his cheating, then maybe you should break up.
2006-07-19 10:15:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing pisses me off more than losers like this.
You guys are in a position to spend the rest of your lives together but now it will be based on his sketchy lies. Scare him by saying that you are going to leave him and make him realize that he has a great girl. then maybe forgive him but keep your pimp hand strong.
2006-07-19 10:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by LordzAbove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it was that long ago, what brought it up? First of all, tell him you are regnant. if he wants to work it out, then work it out. if he leaves you (which he shouldnt) then make sure he pays child support.
2006-07-19 10:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Pixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋