Im 30 years old and have two children,7 & 12 years old.The 12 year old lives with his father and the 7 year old with me.Any how,I just found out Im pregnant.I dont believe in abortion unless Ive been raped and this isnt the case.Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 4 years but had been together for 3 years.Now we have broken up permanently.We planned to have a child but I lost the last child 9 months ago.Now Im pregnant and we are not together.I have not told him yet because I want to wait until Im past 3 months pregnant,because what happened with the last one and I dont want to him to feel as hurt like the last one.Im financially secure and have a roof over my head.Doing quite well in other aspects of my life but,I dont Know what to do about the baby if I were to carry it full term?Keep it?or what?What whould you do.I do know any thing could happen possibly with the pregnancy..But I still have to think what if...What should I do?need some advice please.........
2006-07-19 10:10:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I dont understand why you would think about giving a baby up for adoption, except that you financially cannot afford it....you should just have the baby. You dont need a dad there (even though it would be better) full time. You are a mom and you know how to raise a baby. Just wait and see if you will carry the baby after 3 months then tell...he might change his mind and go back with you.
2006-07-19 10:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your boyfriend and see what he thinks you should do. As to if you should parent or place that is a very hard decision that many mom's have to make. I am an adoptive mom so I know how it feels on my end to receive such a blessing from another person. But I have also seen what my daughters biological mom and dad have gone through. So many hard times at first but now they are doing so much better and don't regret a thing. You have to look at how parenting would affect your whole family, the children that you have right now as well. Will you be able to give them what you want, such as a college education, etc if you were to parent.
It is very hard to raise a child without a father there, on you and on the children. It affects everyone long term. But many, many single mom's do it and do a very good job at it. So whatever decision you make may there be peace in your heart.
I also wanted to add that with adoptions you can chose to have an open adoption. That is what we have with our daughters biological family. They know were we live, our last names, they come and visit with us and we constantly send pictures and letters to them. This has helped all of out a lot. My daughtere is 2 years old, almost 3 now, but it is so nice to know that when she has questions about her biological parents she has a place to go. We really want another open adoption with our second child and hope we can find a birthmom who wants the same. So many people think that when they place that that is the end, but there are so many other options out there for birthmoms, it's not like it was 10 years ago where you place the child and you never see him/her again. It can be very positive experience for everyone involved.
Take care -
Deanna
http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db15432.html
2006-07-19 10:28:53 · answer #2 · answered by Want2adoptbaby#2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can make the ultimate choice. The father should know and I can understand why you want to wait to tell him. A miscarriage is a tragedy. I have a 3 month old and a 7 yr old. If you are financially able, I would say keep it. You always can get child support from the father and have him help you raise the baby even though you are not in a romantic relationship. Good luck with what ever you decide to do.
2006-07-19 10:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesformom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it looks like there are 2 options left. Adoption or Raising the child. No one can tell you which one is best for you in your current situation. There are pros and cons to either options.
You say you are finacially stable but are you emotionally stable after a miscarriage and a break up? You would be raising the child in a split family. But you would have all the wonderful things that your child can bring. An adoptive family can raise your child but then you have no say. They may have a more stable home and family environment but you will not be able to make sure this child has the upbringing you would give them. It is a hard choice but one that must be made.
2006-07-19 10:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sound of things you are a self reliant woman who can take care of your kids without a partner. I think that as long as you let the father of the baby know about the baby and let him be a part of its life, if that's what he chooses, you should raise your child the way you raised your other children, as long as that is what you want. Don't get an abortion, what ever you choose, its not the baby's fault, and there are alot of people who would love a baby of their own that cant. Your a mom, you will know what is the rite path for you and your family.
2006-07-19 10:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel that you and the babies father will be together, and you are unsure about keeping the baby yourself, give it up for adoption. There are many wonderful couples that would be so happy to have a child in their lives. But I would try to reconcile with the father first. He has a right to know.
2006-07-19 10:13:24 · answer #6 · answered by e_imommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bind. Give it time like you said, but make some plans for the future. It it's meant to be you will find a way to raise this child. He or she may be one of life's greatest blessings.
2006-07-19 10:15:49 · answer #7 · answered by orangesensational 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-02 08:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the baby and give it up 4 adoption
2006-07-19 10:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you've already answered your own question. You said you don't believe in abortion so assuming the baby is healthy and you don't miscarry it looks to me like you're keeping it. The only decision you haven't quite made is when to tell your ex-boyfriend.
2006-07-19 10:13:53 · answer #10 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋