My Soul Mate is Married to Someone Else..what do I do?

Question

I am 28 and found my soulmate about 10 years ago. He often said he would marry me, but, ended up marrying someone else since we lost contact for a few years. We remained in contact maybe 5-10 times a year via email. We have both expressed our feelings for each other, but he hasn't left his wife. I feel complete joy and synergy being around him. Once in awhile, I wake up in the middle of the night, and "feel" him there with me. 3 years ago, he happened to visit my parents and I one evening. That morning (before I knew he was here in town) I felt extreme joy. My soul always feels alive and "charged" when I am around him. The bad thing is , for me, that I am now recently engaged and very much contemplating breaking it off because of these feelings - even if my soul mate doesn't leave his wife. If anyone can offer advice I'd appreciate it.

Answer 1

The exact same thing happened to my best friend. When you know you're meant to be with someone else its hard to let that go. Its impossible to let that go. But, if he's not willing to leave his wife than you have no choice but to try and move on and find a different kind of love with someone else. You'll never love anyone the way you love the married guy, but that doesn't mean you can never love anyone else. First of all you need to find out from married guy that he is definately not going to leave his wife. Straight out ask him are you or aren't you because you are in a crossroads without a compass. If he says he'd leave her then tell him he has a certain amount of time to do it or he's lost you forever. If he says he can't leave her (the kids or whatever reason) then tell him good bye forever. I've witnessed the agony of my best friend trying to remain in this guys life and its not worth it. You'll have to let go of him forever if he can't be with you or you'll never be able to give enough of yourself to someone else. Good luck and I hope it works out for you better than it has for my friend.

Answer 2

You are going though a tough time right now I bet. I know what your talking about by feeling them there before they are. I know about the feeling of being charged and the extreme joy that comes along with being with your soul mate. These feelings are hard to deny. Like you I was in a similar situation, I made the decision to let my soul mate go on to walk his own path in life and I stay married to my husband after a short break up where I was with my soul mate. I be lived in my heart I had met him for a reason, and I also believe that we will be together again someday, but for now we have different paths to travel. I am perfectly happy with my husband and our family and I do not regret going back for a minute. I do know that you can not go on seeing him behind his wife's back how would you feel if he was doing that to you. Why are you now considering breaking off your engagement has something changed since your fiance asked you? Did you run into the ex again? Why hasn't your soul mate left his wife are there kids involved. You have a lot to think about if you don't think you can get married to this guy you should call off the wedding. What ever you do I wish you the best through this tough time.

Answer 3

Relationships are a trip. I am married and find it odd when I feel a "connection" with some other woman in a certain way. Not sexual but a connection or similarity. I'm not sure if there are soulmates. If you really feel that way, and you really are, the reality still is that he is married. Unfortunately it takes time to teach some of the big lessons. So in short, time will answer this for you. Hope this helps a little.

Answer 4

If you are looking for someone who can make you feel alive, that can be anyone who you allow to do so, it doesn't even have to be a guy in those terms. It would be a good idea to find out what other things make you full with joy besides someone who is actually out of reach. He did it, perhaps you should too.. Perhaps you should know yourself better before being with someone else.., go to a retreat or look for something more spiritual... Cheers...

Answer 5

I know you can't help how you feel, but you can help how you act on those feelings.

Interfering with his marriage is wrong, as is being engaged to marry someone when you're so conflicted by your feelings for someone else.

If you have the financial wherewithal, I'd suggest a solitary retreat somewhere far away. You need time alone to wrap your mind and heart around all of this.

It seems so unfair to you, I know, that you've found this man and can't have him. And I don't mean to sound callous, but that's life.

You need to do whatever it takes to strengthen yourself to move on. If you can get yourself into a place of peace & acceptance about all this, the universe (or God, or whatever) will provide. If you do the wrong thing--mess with his marriage or marry a man you've as much as admitted is not the one for you--you'll pay for it for the rest of your life, and so will he.

Answer 6

Imagine if your fiance read this. He would despise you. How can you be so selfish? You stay in contact with some married guy the whole time you are getting engaged with another? What kind or moral value system do you have? Break it off with your fiance, and figure out what the hell it is that you want, and stop thinking that life is a Lifetime movie. It ain't.

Answer 7

If he said he was going to leave his wife for you, give him time. If he has never told you that leave him alone.
I was in the same position you are in and he kept telling me he was going to leave his wife, I didn't wait to see if he really would and went back to my husband. Then he left his wife so it was hard for me to walk right bac out the door that I had just walked back into so I asked him to wait. He got scared and went back to his wife like two days before I left my husband again. I waited about 2 months and went back to my husband wound up having another child and now he's for real getting a divorce and I can't leave my husband again because we have 2 kids together and I don't want to hurt my husband again IM SCARED to leave him again.
SO just put off getting engaged and see what happens. It could and it might not work out at all. Just give it time.

Answer 8

You may think you have found your soulmate, but HE is with someone else and is OBVIOUSLY NOT going to leave her, which means that he loves HER!!!!! He is not your soulmate, he is just someone that you are lusting after, and have built up to this DREAM guy. Maybe if you were together long enough for you to smell his lousy morning breath, and see that he leaves black streaks in his underwear, and that he gets on the internet behind YOUR back and plays "soulmate" with some other woman, then you wouldn't feel like you do now. Don't be a fool! He WANTS his wife. He is just having a good time with your feelings, but he won't leave her for you.

Answer 9

i would just be friends leave him alone because if he crosses the line of cheating and he does leave his wife where would that leave you because what makes you think he wont do that to you also you might get old to him too. If you let him cross that line and you do see each other while he is still married you will always be the other woman and asking him when are you gonna leave your wife. He most likely will never leave her so the best bet is dont put yourself in that situation and move on. You guys just be friends and if you dont think he or you can handle being just friends then get leave him alone and move on. Hope this helps

Answer 10

you're living in fantasy land. Find somebody else. Break up with your boyfriend, he deserves better than someone who thinks some other married guy is their soulmate. Leave your married "soulmate" alone. If he decides to get divorced, let it be on his own terms. He will only resent you later if he leaves his wife for you.