he is 19 she is 17..he gets mad about the smallest things like when she comes to me to talk about their problems....she can't talk to him and he won't let her talk it out with her own mom so she comes to me. i think she should leave he always put her down and makes her cry and i don't know if i should tell her what i think? any advise?
2006-07-19 09:27:59 · 19 answers · asked by allpastforgotten 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Since she is coming to you for advice, then you need to be honest with her. Tell her exactly what you think. That is your duty as her friend, because she wants the TRUTH from you. So, quit pussyfooting around, and tell her to dump him. She is only 17, and has a lot to learn about REAL love, and this isn't it!!!!
2006-07-19 09:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yes she should probably just leave, she isn't happy and thats not what a relationship is supposed to be. Not to mention that he is making her feel bad about herself, that is one of the first signs of an abuser. He's just not worth it, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Think of it this way, how long is she going to stay miserable? This won't last forever, so why waste another day being unhappy? She is 17 and should be having fun and enjoying life. Tell her if she starts to miss him you will yell at her and say mean things and make her cry and then it will be just like having him around!
2006-07-19 09:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a lesson for you and your girlfriend. Listen very close. Tell your girlfriend to STOP telling her boyfriend everything. She doesn't have to tell him that you two talk about their relationship. She doesn't have to tell him that she tells her mother personal things about the two of them. She should make him think that she's mature enough to handle things in their relationship because they both are mature enough to sit down, talk to each other, and work things out. This is what mature people do. Next , STAY out of their relationship. You are the THIRD wheel, even if you do not mean to be. These guys are going to make you look like the bad interferer. So Stop it.
2006-07-19 09:34:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to think about what's best for her. Can she see herself with him long-term, knowing that he's going to be immature whenever they have an argument and that he doesn't want to discuss it in a calm manner? Is she willing to let him put her down and make her feel bad about herself? When you're in a loving, committed relationship, you expect the other person to lift you up and make you feel like you have value as a person, just as you do for them. Clearly he is not living up to his end of the bargain. Why shouldn't she discuss the issues with her own mother? He should have no control over who she talks to.
I would sit her down, and let her know how you feel after making it clear that you are not trying to break them up--just to bring a few issues to light that she might be blinded to at the moment. In the end, the decision is hers, and it's for you to support her, even if you disagree with her choice. If he makes her unhappy and makes her cry, things like that only get worse over time, not better.
2006-07-19 09:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you think, I think, Her mom thinks, Etc, it is up to her. All you can do is be there for her when she needs you. If you want to help her see she is being abused take her to a shelter to talk to a counselor, get her a brochure on the subject. Or just tell her out right how you feel, but is all her decision. If you push to hard you might lose your friend to an abusive jerk. Good Luck
2006-07-19 09:34:07 · answer #5 · answered by Wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes she should leave communication is a key part of a relationship!!! and if he refuses to talk or allow her to talk to someone else about their problems that could turn out to be an abusive relationship and thats the last thing u want tell her to leave
2006-07-19 09:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by the quiet one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think If he is actually Beating her you should talk to the police but if he's not I think you should sneak her out and let hang out at you' re place for a while
2006-07-19 09:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by CourtKit H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that if she doesnt leave him, she may get serious problems later.
you know it damages psychics.
and just think what experiience she will brng to her next relationship. Just advise her to leave till its not too late ;)
good luck and be a incere friend ;)
I think she should be glad to have you to talk to.
take care
2006-07-19 09:35:17 · answer #8 · answered by menulka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, at her age, she'll just have to learn. No one ever has to sacrifice their happiness to be in a relationship. And you don't have to fight to have a relationship. I think me and my husband have had one fight and it was before we were married. 2.5 years fight free.
Tell her what you feel. You are her friend and hopefully she will respect your advice because it it coming from your heart.
2006-07-19 09:31:21 · answer #9 · answered by happymommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the situation is as dismal as you describe it, she should give him the heave-ho. NO one deserves to be mistreated and humiliated, and if he just does not want to discuss how he is adversely affecting her, she should ditch him and find someone who will appreciate her and truly love her.
Chow!!
2006-07-19 09:32:33 · answer #10 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋