my husband is a really nice guy. women are always coming to him for advice and friendship. i have a low self esteem , even though i know i am moderately attractive and people are generally attracted to me. i sometimes get jealous , or insecure about his relationships at his office. he is the boss there and all of his employees are women (they are secretaries and phone solicitors).
he often says things like " sandy and i talk on the phone a lot , we are good friends and we both go out of our way to make sure that the vibe is purly plutonic" he has also said that another woman "makes me feel uncomfortable , i just dont like women to use sexuality"....but anyways , long story short , he throws things out there that make me wonder , thinking that i will just listen and let it go , but when i aski anything further (as he is usually so non descript) he backtracks and says its nothing and dont worry about it.
i cant help but think he has inappropriate relationships with these women . help!
2006-07-19 09:01:00 · 13 answers · asked by bec 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If anything was going on, he would shut up and not say anything.
He knows how insecure you are, that's why he will at times shut up, just based on your responses.
Unless you want this marriage go down the drain, extend some trust. But keep listening to him so see whether his behavior changes.
2006-07-19 09:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is easy! My hubby is very likeable by EVERYONE! He is one of those "people magnets". If this situation is a work related thing which concerns you the most, here is a simple solution that may help. Simple observation. If you are in a position to do so, you could do simple things like take him lunch. It's innocent enough for him to think little of AND you can observe his interaction with them for yourself and leave yourself in an opening to meet these "women" and get to know them before you rmind runs away with ideas and conclusions that may be unfounded. Not when you can just find reasons to visit him at the office and feel the situation out for yourself. If there are certain vibes, you will know! When it becomes known that you are his wife you will be able to judge the situation by the reaction from them and his behavior during the situation. Do not react if you see things that you do not like. Put on an innocent face and "be oblivious". he will think you missed it and may get a little more careless. Time will tell from there.
Something else to keep in mind. Men are NORMALLY nondescript. Men deal with FACTS! Pressing ones, not side ones. A man may tell you he went to the parts store today but may not think to mention why. Even if he went there to pick up a part for his car because soemthing went wrong on him today, he may only see the fact that he went as being the part that matters. Men are not thorough with many things and will leave out things they see as unimportant. they do not think about anything as being important to you if it isn't to them. It may just be that there is nothing going on beyond what he says and may be writing things off because he feels the details beyond the simple facts are irrelevent. Men can also be blind to what they get from others. You may see things from these women that he does not. that happened to me with a former female friend of ours. I saw it, he didn't and did NOT think of her the way she thought of him. he did not believe me until SHE gave him reason to. Someitmes you just have to let the situation play out and eventually it will, pne way or the other. If he is honorable, he will deal with it that way. If not, then you will know for sure. Hope this helps! Good luck! by the way, My hubby ended that friendship and I did not have to do anything! Including make a big deal of it! Just a little spark of hope!
2006-07-19 16:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think your low self esteem may have you feeling like that. Does he come home every night at the same time?
You could maybe make an effort to meet these girls and go out to lunch with them sometime - or tell him that you are thinking about doing that. If he gets all fluttered and worried about it, then that's a sign that he may be fooling around. But if there isn't anything going on, he wouldn't have a problem with you meeting them.
2006-07-19 16:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he works somewhere and he is boss. The women will throw themselves at his feet. Girl stick your head up and out. Bring your self esteem up, dress good look good. He is married to you not them, they are just trying really hard to get his attention. The attention you get when he comes home. If he is good to you and you guys communicate and talk a lot, then there is nothing to worry about. Warning though don't pressure him too much because he is going to change his way of thinking. He will believe hey if I am always being accused of cheat'n well why not cheat?
2006-07-19 16:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by babyruthi2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your letting your insecurities get the best of you. Maybe he throws things out there becuase he feels that it's no big deal. Would you rather prefer him to not tell you anything? Have faith in your husband, marriage and in yourself,especially if he worked there when you first met. Remember, those women can do their "things" but as long as he's always coming home to you I don't see the problem. And the women can flirt with him all they wnat but we all know you own the Pink Slip!
2006-07-19 16:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spy on him. This may seem crazy but after all, it'll be worth it no matter what the outcome is because you are married to this man! You deserve to know!!!!!! Set up a plan to catch him....imagine he is cheating on you and youre just sitting there looking stupid for all this time, wouldnt you wanna know how youve been looking spending the time you have with him? Think of a plan, and make it good!. Good luck and keep us posted.
p.s. no camouflage and hiding in bushes! LOL
2006-07-19 16:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen in the work place he is on shaky ground even considering being anything but the boss to these women . don't forget they can go after him for sexual harassment , so if you want my opinion , don't worry he's not cheating on you , OK , relax .
2006-07-19 16:12:49 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as for my experience yes man are verry likely to cheat. specialy if your husband is TOO friendly. just be carefull and dont let your guards down. you know how we woman are when we want something we WILL GET IT. and if the man wants it to oh well there you have it. if he is thowing little hints at you dont put them aside LOOK verry carefully he will let something slip.
2006-07-19 16:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Nini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your insecurities are getting the best of you...You should know your husband best and judge him by his character, regardless if he worked in a strip club...if he has integrity, he will be true to you and his promises.
2006-07-19 16:07:13 · answer #9 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you give him all that he needs and hes also givin back all you need , then theres no reason you should think he will cheat. Unless... your not telling us the whole thing like ,have you ever cheated?
2006-07-19 16:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by earl r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋