it seems like everytime i talk to a family member i end up getting in an arguement with them ! nobody in my family has really been there for me unless i gave them money or something they wanted and on top of that i tons more stressed to deal with !! i just want to live my life and forget my family cause i feel if i wasnt around they wouldnt miss me !!!! please can somebody give me some advice!
2006-07-19 08:57:55 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
hmmm ... talk to someone outside of your family ... get a massage to get rid of the stress...and think before u take any action... i'm sure your family loves you... sorry but our society is very materialistic...so we can't really change the consumer culture ...
2006-07-19 09:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I can only tell you what I would do in your situation because noone can tell YOU exactly what to do without knowing you and your family. I would pray about it constantly, I would be as pleasant and kind and loving toward my family members as possible, be helpful, refuse to argue with them. If you can't kindly and calmly tell them that you really don't want to argue then leave the situation for awhile...walk out of the room, the house, whatever for a few hours, overnight, whatever it takes. Do some deep breathing and find a healthy outlet for your stress and tension...like meditating, exercising, deep breathing, music, whatever helps to relax you and put your mind in a better place. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-19 16:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by amomentssunlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever tried yoga? It really does help - sometimes from the very first lesson - and the more you do it the more it helps.
If you've never tried it before, I really recommend going to a class. Even the simplest looking pose has way more complexity than I imagined there could be, and if you're not using the proper form, you won't get the full benefit (in some cases, you could actually hurt yourself).
Anyway, it's a great way to relax, get some exercise, and meet some people who aren't jerks.
Wishing you lots of luck!!
2006-07-19 16:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Jinx U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may seem your family doesn't care for you but the fact is they love you your probably the stronger one in your family so they probably feel like they never have to worry about you because you Will do the right things and make good decisions you can live your life just draw a line its one thing to be there for your family but don't let them take advantage because you will lose sight of you try to communicate with them and Tell them how you feel
2006-07-19 16:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by kizzme1017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try your hardest not to argue with them. The fact that you think they wouldnt care if you werent around is throwing you off track. Forget that when youre around them. Be the better person! I know alot of people think this is corny but kill them with kindness! LOL it really does work. BE NICE no matter what, they are your family and even though you think you know how they feel, you still dont really know whats going on inside of them! As far as the stress goes...maybe going to the spa, going to church, getting a counselor, and/or carrying one of them little stress balls around with you, will help!
Good luck and remember ''Kill them with kindness'' thats the best and most efficent way to hurt them because they'll be feeling like assholes in the end if you do this! :)
2006-07-19 16:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so right, if you weren't around your family would miss you! Life is not perfect, neither are our family members. I changed alot of the things that go on in my family by giving and taking, but not material things but by giving more love and getting more love, by giving more positivity and getting more positivity, by giving more encouragement and getting more encouragement.....I did the same with love and respect, it catches on.
Treat it much like an omlet, anything negative, just flip it!
It takes work and time because it is easier to be negative so while you are working on this surround yourself with things that destress...like a bubble bath, or good music, a nice view and so on....you can do it.....I did!
2006-07-19 16:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by Millie A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's your family, And I know it's hard to do this, but I've been there. Just Don't talk to them, silence is golden, and they will learn. When ever you get into an argument or they ask you for money, just walk away and say nothing. Move far away if you have to, Cut the cord. Too harsh? Is what they are doing to you any less harsh, driving you crazy like they are doing? Your peace of mind comes first.
2006-07-19 16:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats sad i know my family is pretty the same not money but want somthing or i dont here from them for ages thats why im better off alone in peace.well i take a herbal tablet called calms it keeps my stress life down at work. since taking them i have kept my cool and had a goodnights wink.they take around a week to kick in but they work fab.you can buy them in any pharmacy.gdluck ps u look after yourself cause noboby else will.
2006-07-19 16:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by all_nice_things 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. My stress is my family , too. But not about money. The way I dealt with it was finally went to my GP and talked to him and he finally prescribed medication. Next, if you have a best friend or spouse talk to them about your feelings. I always call my friend and we talk and usually I feel better. Let the family member know that you love them but you can't give them anything anymore . If they want to talk or go out to lunch or whatever that is fine but you know longer want to fight with them. If they don't then tell them you love them but your health can't permit you to be around them anymore until they change their attitude. I always go to my room and read or watch tv to calm down cause my family members live wih me. Good luck.
2006-07-19 16:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by cmarsena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Above everyone else (including family), you come first. You need to focus on you and depend on you:) I am sure your family will miss you ... they are only behaving in the only way they no how. Help if it is legit... refuse financial assistance if it is only enabling them. We all need help and support ... but the best help and support is the when we do it for ourselves. Look around you life is beautiful... you have the brushes paint the life you want for you - mind is powerful tool - think it at will be. When you are 90 yrs old setting in the rocker chair, reflecting back on your life, you will only be able to blame or thank no one else but you on how you lived it.
Peace:)
2006-07-19 16:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by Hot Star 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. If being unavailable for the users in your family will bring more peace to your life, then by all means separate yourself from them. People who are willing to use you, family or not, should not be allowed to take control of the only life you have. Be assertive and don't allow them to take you on a guilt trip.
2006-07-19 16:54:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋