my man of four years, just found out iam pregant.. he wants me to keep the baby but he expects me to quit my job and stay home. he also told me that i can't go out of the house and that he refuses to lose work becuase i need to go to the store or doctors office. what u think i should do..
2006-07-19 08:46:52 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
wow, sis. im putting you on my prayer list. there's no easy answer to that one. sounds like he could use some developmental growth in his ideas about reality. ...sigh.
YOU need support MORE SOLID than this yahoo answer forum might be able to provide... some kind of happy balance between what you both want, since you are married. I'd recommend stephen covey's 7 habits of highly effective people, especially the part about being "pro-active" and the part about your "sphere of influence & circle of concern" for your situation. eventually you WILL have to take leave from your job, but perhaps not right now.
man... i hope you find this helpful. msg me if you want a free audio copy of that book. i know im not supposed to do that, but ill make an exception in your case.
=HulkSmaash!
2006-07-19 08:56:16 · answer #1 · answered by HulkSmaash 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you can't leave the house? And he refuses to lose work if you, the mother of his child, need something?
He sounds like a real jerk. But being with him for four years, you probably already knew that, deep down. You maybe have been denying it? My ex was not the greatest guy, when I was pregant, he became a psychotic jerk...I left. It wasn't just me anymore, it was my child too...and I had a duty to protect her. Unfortunately, even psychotic jerks get visitation, so if you have any reason to fear this man, or his relationship with your child...I suggest you go and not tell him where. Good luck! And Congratulations.
2006-07-19 08:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by loubean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is too late to tell you to leave the guy. Are you married? He is way too controlling. You need to make the best of your situation. Why can't you leave the house? Tell him that the single most important thing you can do when you are pregnant is get good prenatal health care. You must go to the doctor. If he loves you and loves the baby, he'll want you to do what is right. This is a modern world sister, and he needs to realize that he doesn't rule the roost. If he is mean to you, go to a shelter. Do you want to keep the baby? Is it his?
2006-07-19 08:51:55 · answer #3 · answered by Chainsawmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that this is the sign of what is or will become an abusive and controlling relationship. You can try couples counseling, but I'd suggest you leave him. If he threatens you, call up a crisis hotline. There are people ready and willing to help. He should not be dictating what you can or can't do just because you're pregnant. It's not healthy for you or your baby.
2006-07-19 09:03:32 · answer #4 · answered by criticalcatalyst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling you that you need to quit your job, no. Expecting you to stay home and not go out of the house, no. Refusing to go to the store for you, no. You need to set him straight and fast
2006-07-19 08:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that just because you are pregnant doesn't mean that you don't still have a life of your own. Ask him to go to your doctor's appointment with you and have the doctor explain to both of you (mostly your man) what is safe for a pregnant women. And if he is still an a$$ then I suggest ignoring all H*ll out of him.
2006-07-19 08:55:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him yeah OK, I'm having your baby but I am still a human being, and I wish to work till I can't. 9 months is a long time to not be allowed out of the house. That's just cruel.
2006-07-19 08:51:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is one thing to be a stay at home mom...but another to be a prisoner in your own home. This really sounds like an unhealthy relationship and pretty controlling I might add. You need to decide what is best for you and the baby. It doesn't sound like he will be!! Good Luck!
2006-07-19 08:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have the baby, but why can't you work? You have to support the baby, go the store and doctor visits, etc. He needs to understand that he is not your boss and that you have needs as well.
2006-07-19 08:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to chill out, I worked until two weeks before having my son and everything was fine, unless the doc says that it is a high risk pregnancy he shouldn't be so strict on you.
2006-07-19 08:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by prettypixie1997 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋